Nightmare dates are so memorable and hopefully something we can look back and laugh at. But what can we learn from them?

So you’re chatting with someone new on a dating app, and you excitedly get to the point where the conversation moves off the app and into Whatsapp.  You chat for a while longer and get a feel for who they are, and then it happens – one of you asks the other out and an in-person date is set up.  Hooray!  You’re finally going somewhere.

When you show up to the date, however, your expectations are shattered.  They don’t look like you expected them to.  They act in a super inappropriate or rude way.  You notice all sorts of red flags that you couldn’t see before.  A nightmare date.  We’ve all had one, and after a bad first date, it’s nearly impossible to come back for a second.

We wanted to know what sort of experience single Christians have had with nightmare dates, so we asked our SALT Social community to share some of their stories – and they did not disappoint!  Here’s what they told us:

“About ten minutes before getting to the cafe for our first date, dude calls and says, ‘You wouldn’t mind meeting at the blood lab instead, would you?’”

-Alice

“A man from church I had been friends with and interested in for years finally asked me out to go line dancing with him. I’d never been, but was open to trying something new with him. I tried learning the moves and making an effort to dance with him, but he then proceeded to dance with EVERY OTHER GIRL and make excuses. I danced with a kind old man and at the very end, the guy was making out with someone.  How rude!”

-Kristina

“It’s our first date. She orders £170 worth of martinis, expects me to pay for them, then throws up all over me 😑”

-Lyall

“On a first date with a dentist.  She asked me to open wide to check my molars. Very strange, but also she found no cavities and didn’t bill my insurance after…so I guess that’s a success?”

-Yari

“First date… Went to the cinema because he really wanted to watch a film… During the first 4 minutes of the trailers, I could feel him leaning closer and closer to me… Turns out he kept falling asleep and then waking up and pretending he was watching! He slept the whole movie! Had it not been a Sandra Bullock movie, I would have left! Actually probably should have!😂😂”

-Haven

“Went to Nandos wearing a brand new shirt… and forgot to check that the lid was secured on the ketchup bottle before shaking it… date didn’t last long.“

-Anne

“It was the first date I ever went on.  We decided on a picnic at the local park. She showed up in a robe, tore the rose I gave her petal by petal as we walked, and brought liquor when she knew I don’t drink. TO A PARK. And then the park cop drove by and all I could think is ‘I’m going to be fined on my first date’. Really put me off dating for a while.”

-Alex

“We stayed out talking so long that by the time we realized we were starving, all the restaurants were closed. Found a mini grocery store, but he insisted we needed plates and they didn’t sell them. They did sell frisbees though, so we ended up sat in the car – in the dark – eating salad off a frisbee 😅 I signed it for him to take home.”

-Millie

“This was literally two days ago. Accidentally broke my glasses just before a first date, and I showed up practically blind. My poor date had to guide me everywhere 😂 Thankfully he was so sweet and understanding.”

-Julia

“Went to a restaurant, but the whole time the guy’s face was buried in his phone at the dinner table.  He only glanced up at me once. I should have just got up, paid for my own food, and left, but I endured it instead. Later I texted him explaining there will be no second date and why, and then he got real defensive and started lying, trying to tell me he wasn’t looking down at his phone the whole time.  Weird.”

-Natalie

“First date! We went ice skating. I pretended I knew how to ice skate. Big mistake! He didn’t realize and I clung into him the entire time! He went to the bathroom, came back, and found me screaming as I couldn’t remember how to stop myself skidding across the ice and onto the floor!😂”

-Jo

If you’re looking for some actual positive experiences with dating, here’s a discussion about whether courtship is better than dating or dating is better than courtship to help you weigh your options. And of course, don’t forget to give SALT a try – here’s some great Christian dating success stories to encourage you!