Navigating the world of dating as a committed Christian can feel overwhelming at times. You’ve met someone wonderful, sparks are flying, and now you’re wondering, “How do I make sure we’re exclusive?” It’s a valid question, and honestly, it’s one that deserves some thought, prayer, and intentionality. Relationships, especially those built on a foundation of faith, flourish when there’s clarity, communication, and a shared vision for the future.

Whether you’re just starting to date or you’ve been seeing someone for a while, ensuring exclusivity in a Christ-centered way doesn’t have to be complicated. Let’s dive into some practical, biblical, and heartfelt advice to help you navigate this stage of your relationship.

---

1. Seek God’s Guidance First

Before bringing up exclusivity with someone, take it to God in prayer. Ask Him to reveal whether this relationship aligns with His will for you. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. Exclusivity is a significant step, so seek His wisdom and peace before proceeding.

2. Define Your Intentions Early

One of the best ways to ensure clarity in your relationship is to define your intentions from the start. Be upfront about your desire for a Christ-centered, exclusive relationship. If you’re both using a Christian dating app like SALT, you already have a great starting point, as the app fosters meaningful connections based on shared faith.

3. Have Honest Conversations

When the time feels right, have an open and honest conversation about where you stand and what you’re looking for. Approach the topic with humility and a willingness to listen. It’s not about pressuring the other person but about understanding each other’s feelings and expectations.

4. Set Clear Boundaries Together

Exclusivity isn’t just about being the only two people dating; it’s also about creating a relationship that honors God. Discuss and agree on boundaries—both emotional and physical—that will help protect your relationship and keep Christ at the center.

5. Look for Consistency in Actions

Words are important, but actions often speak louder. Pay attention to how they treat you and others, their commitment to spiritual growth, and whether they prioritize time with you. Consistency builds trust and confidence in the relationship.

6. Guard Your Heart (and Theirs)

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts, for everything we do flows from it. While pursuing exclusivity, ensure you’re not rushing ahead of where God is leading. Protecting both your heart and theirs ensures the relationship grows in a healthy, God-honoring way.

7. Pray Together

One of the most intimate things you can do as a couple is to pray together. It invites God into your relationship and strengthens your bond. Praying for clarity, wisdom, and direction about exclusivity can also help align your hearts with God’s will.

8. Involve Trusted Mentors

Seek counsel from trusted Christian mentors or friends who know you well and can offer objective advice. Proverbs 15:22 reminds us that plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.

9. Be Patient

Patience is a virtue for a reason. Sometimes, exclusivity takes time to establish, especially if the other person is seeking clarity or healing from past relationships. Trust God’s timing and resist the urge to rush the process.

10. Evaluate Compatibility

Ask yourself if your values, goals, and spiritual walks align. Are you both pursuing God and encouraging each other in your faith? Exclusivity should be a step toward a deeper, God-glorifying relationship.

11. Be Transparent About Your Feelings

If you’re feeling uncertain about where the relationship is headed, share your thoughts in a loving and non-confrontational way. Transparency fosters trust and ensures you’re both on the same page.

12. Avoid Comparisons

It’s easy to compare your relationship to others, especially on social media. Remember that every relationship is unique, and God’s plan for your love story is different from anyone else’s. Focus on what God is doing in your relationship instead of measuring it against others.

13. Take It Offline

If you’ve met someone on a Christian dating app like SALT, take the time to meet in person (in a safe and appropriate setting) to deepen your connection. Exclusivity is easier to navigate when you’ve spent quality time together face-to-face.

14. Look for Fruit in Their Life

As Matthew 7:16 says, “By their fruit, you will recognize them.” Look for evidence of the Holy Spirit in their life, such as kindness, patience, self-control, and humility. These traits indicate a heart surrendered to Christ and a readiness for an exclusive, Christ-centered relationship.

15. Discuss Future Goals

Exclusivity isn’t just about the present; it’s about moving toward a shared future. Discuss your goals, dreams, and how your relationship fits into God’s plan for your lives. Alignment in these areas can solidify your decision to become exclusive.

16. Be Willing to Walk Away If Necessary

Not every relationship is meant to last. If the other person isn’t ready for exclusivity or doesn’t share your values, be willing to step back and trust God to provide the right person in His timing.

17. Celebrate Milestones

When you do decide to become exclusive, celebrate the moment! It’s a significant step in your relationship and an opportunity to thank God for bringing you together.

18. Communicate Regularly

Exclusivity doesn’t mean you stop working on the relationship. Regular communication is key to ensuring you’re both still aligned and growing together in Christ.

19. Keep Christ at the Center

Exclusivity should never replace your individual or collective focus on Christ. Continue to seek Him in prayer, worship, and Bible study, both individually and as a couple.

20. Trust God with the Outcome

Ultimately, trust God with your relationship. Whether it leads to marriage or a lesson, He is faithful to guide you through every step of the journey. Surrender your hopes and fears to Him, knowing that His plans are always for your good.

---

Making a relationship exclusive as a committed Christian is about more than just defining the terms—it’s about building a foundation that honors God and fosters growth for both people involved. Whether you’ve met your special someone through SALT or elsewhere, these steps can help you move forward with clarity, confidence, and faith. Trust the process, and remember, God’s timing is always perfect.