Why is it so hard to be a single Christian? It’s a question many of us wrestle with, especially in a world that often equates worth and happiness with romantic relationships. Being single as a committed Christian in your 20s or 30s can feel like navigating a maze of social pressures, well-meaning but unhelpful advice, and your own desires for connection and companionship. But take heart—you’re not alone in this journey. Let’s explore some reasons why it’s challenging and discover practical ways to embrace this season of life with faith and joy.

Unrealistic Expectations from Culture and Church

The Culture of Romance

We live in a society that idolizes romance. Every movie, TV show, and even Instagram post seems to reinforce the idea that a relationship is the ultimate goal. As a single Christian, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out or incomplete. But the truth is, your worth isn’t determined by your relationship status. Scripture reminds us in Psalm 139:14 that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” fully known and loved by God.

The Pressure from the Church

Sometimes, even well-meaning church communities can unintentionally add to the pressure. Ever been to a singles’ event that felt more like a speed-dating session? Or had someone tell you, “God has someone out there for you” when you didn’t even ask? While these moments often come from a place of love, they can leave you feeling isolated or like there’s something wrong with being single.

The Emotional and Spiritual Struggles of Singleness

Battling Loneliness

Let’s be real: loneliness can be tough. It’s natural to long for someone to share life with, to call when you’ve had a bad day, or to pray with when life feels overwhelming. But remember, even in your loneliness, God’s presence is constant. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Use this time to deepen your relationship with Him and seek His purpose for your life.

Dealing with Doubts and Delays

It’s easy to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?” or “Has God forgotten me?” when relationships don’t happen on your timeline. But the Bible shows us time and again that God’s timing is perfect. Think about Abraham and Sarah, who waited decades for God’s promise of a child. Their story reminds us that waiting isn’t wasted when it’s part of God’s plan.

Finding Joy and Purpose in Singleness

Embracing the Gift of Singleness

1 Corinthians 7:7-8 speaks of singleness as a gift. While it might not always feel that way, being single provides unique opportunities to grow in your faith, serve others, and pursue your passions without the responsibilities that come with a romantic relationship. Take time to explore your gifts and use them to glorify God.

Building Strong Relationships

Your season of singleness doesn’t have to be lonely. Invest in deep, meaningful friendships and surround yourself with a supportive community. Join a Bible study, volunteer at your church, or even connect with like-minded Christians through platforms like SALT, a global Christian dating app designed to help believers meet and build Christ-centered relationships. Even if you’re not actively seeking a relationship, SALT can be a great way to expand your community.

Practical Steps to Thrive as a Single Christian

1. Focus on Your Identity in Christ

Your identity isn’t found in your relationship status; it’s found in Christ. Spend time in Scripture to remind yourself of who you are in Him. Ephesians 2:10 tells us we are God’s handiwork, created for good works. Let this truth ground you.

2. Pursue Your Passions

What are you passionate about? Whether it’s art, music, sports, or ministry, use this time to explore your interests and talents. Not only will this bring fulfillment, but it may also open doors to meet others who share your passions.

3. Guard Your Heart

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Be mindful of how much you let societal pressures or comparison on social media affect your perspective. Focus on gratitude and the blessings in your life.

4. Be Open to New Opportunities

Sometimes, we limit ourselves with a rigid checklist of what we want in a partner or how we think God will work in our lives. Stay open to the unexpected. Whether it’s joining a new ministry, relocating for a job, or even trying a Christian dating app like SALT, be willing to step out in faith.

A Personal Note

I remember a season in my life when I deeply struggled with singleness. Friends were getting married, starting families, and moving into new seasons, while I felt stuck. It was only when I surrendered my desires to God and trusted His timing that I began to see the beauty in that season. I traveled, built incredible friendships, and grew in ways I never expected. Looking back, I see how God used that time to prepare me for what was ahead. He’s doing the same for you.

Conclusion

Yes, it can be hard to be a single Christian, but it’s also a season rich with potential for growth, joy, and purpose. Remember, your value is not tied to your relationship status but to your identity as a beloved child of God. Lean into this time, seek Him wholeheartedly, and trust that His plans for you are good—even when they’re not what you expected. And if you’re open to it, consider using tools like SALT to meet like-minded believers and expand your community. God’s timing is perfect, and He is always faithful.