Marriage is a beautiful covenant designed by God, built on love, trust, and unity. But in today’s world, with so many different opinions about relationships, boundaries, and friendships, one question often arises: Should married people have friends of the opposite sex? For single Christians who are preparing for marriage or dating intentionally, understanding this topic now can help set the foundation for a strong, God-honoring relationship in the future.

The Importance of Boundaries in Marriage

God designed marriage to be a sacred and exclusive bond between a husband and wife (Genesis 2:24). That doesn’t mean that having friendships outside of your spouse is wrong, but it does mean that wisdom and boundaries are necessary. Healthy friendships should always respect and strengthen your marriage, not create unnecessary tension or temptation.

1. Emotional Intimacy Should Be Reserved for Your Spouse

A close friendship with someone of the opposite sex can sometimes lead to emotional intimacy that belongs within marriage. If you find yourself confiding in a friend more than your spouse, it’s a sign that the friendship may be crossing a boundary.

2. Your Spouse Should Always Come First

Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church, and Proverbs 31 speaks of a wife who brings honor to her husband. Your loyalty and deepest commitment belong to your spouse, not a friend. If a friendship takes away from your marriage, it’s time to reassess.

3. Avoid the “Work Spouse” Mentality

It’s common to hear phrases like “work husband” or “work wife,” but these casual labels can create a dangerous mindset. Even if there’s no romantic attraction initially, spending excessive time with a coworker of the opposite sex can lead to inappropriate emotional bonds.

4. Would You Be Comfortable If the Roles Were Reversed?

A good test for any friendship is to ask: “Would I be comfortable if my spouse had the same type of friendship with someone else?” If the answer is no, then the friendship likely needs adjustments.

5. Transparency Is Key

Your spouse should never feel like they’re in competition with a friend of the opposite sex. If you feel the need to hide a conversation, text, or hangout, it’s a sign that something isn’t right.

Healthy Friendships That Honor Your Marriage

While marriage requires boundaries, it doesn’t mean that opposite-sex friendships are impossible. With the right mindset and precautions, friendships can be healthy and uplifting.

6. Group Settings Are Best

Rather than one-on-one meetups, prioritize group settings when spending time with friends of the opposite sex. This removes temptation and fosters community instead of exclusivity.

7. Include Your Spouse

Your spouse should know and feel comfortable with your friends. When friendships include both spouses, they can be a blessing rather than a source of concern.

8. Be Open About Your Friendships

Regularly communicate with your spouse about the friendships in your life. This builds trust and removes any secrecy.

9. Keep Physical Boundaries Clear

What might seem like a harmless hug or touch can be perceived differently by others. Always be mindful of how physical interactions may be interpreted.

10. Watch Out for Emotional Attachments

It’s possible to feel emotionally closer to a friend than your spouse without realizing it. Check your heart often to ensure that no one is taking your spouse’s place in your emotional world.

How to Handle Opposite-Sex Friendships Before Marriage

For single Christians who are dating or considering marriage, now is the time to establish healthy boundaries. The friendships you cultivate today will impact your future marriage.

11. Practice Healthy Boundaries Now

If you’re serious about marriage, start practicing boundaries now. The habits you develop in singleness will carry into your future relationship.

12. Choose Accountability

Surround yourself with wise Christian mentors and friends who can provide guidance. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that iron sharpens iron.

13. Date Someone Who Shares Your Convictions

If you value boundaries in opposite-sex friendships, make sure you date someone who respects them too. Apps like SALT connect like-minded Christian singles who take faith and commitment seriously.

14. Test Your Motives

Ask yourself: “Why am I maintaining this friendship? Is it honoring to God and my future spouse?” If your motives are selfish or unclear, reconsider the relationship.

15. Seek God’s Wisdom

James 1:5 tells us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God. Pray for discernment about the friendships in your life and the impact they have on your faith and future marriage.

What to Do If a Friendship Is Causing Issues in Marriage

Even the best-intentioned friendships can sometimes cause tension. If a friendship is creating conflict in your marriage, it’s important to take it seriously.

16. Prioritize Your Spouse’s Feelings

If your spouse expresses concern about a friendship, don’t dismiss their feelings. Take the time to understand their perspective and reassure them through action.

17. Seek Wise Counsel

If you’re unsure how to handle a situation, seek wisdom from a trusted pastor, mentor, or Christian counselor.

18. Be Willing to Make Changes

If a friendship is causing division in your marriage, be willing to set it aside. No friendship is worth jeopardizing the sacred bond of marriage.

19. Reassess Your Own Heart

Sometimes, we resist ending a friendship because it fulfills a need that should be met by our spouse or God. Examine your heart honestly and seek the Lord’s direction.

20. Focus on Building a Strong Marriage

Instead of focusing on maintaining opposite-sex friendships, shift your energy toward building intimacy, trust, and joy in your marriage. A thriving marriage leaves little room for outside distractions.

Final Thoughts

Should married people have friends of the opposite sex? The answer isn’t a simple yes or no—it’s about wisdom, boundaries, and honoring God in all things. If you’re single and preparing for a Christ-centered marriage, now is the time to cultivate habits that will strengthen your future relationship.

Choose friendships that support your faith and keep your heart aligned with God’s best for you. Whether you’re dating, engaged, or still waiting for the right person, being intentional about your relationships now will lay the foundation for a strong, God-honoring marriage in the future. If you’re looking for a like-minded Christian community to date and build meaningful relationships, consider checking out SALT. Finding someone who shares your values can make all the difference as you navigate friendships and marriage in a way that glorifies God.