Should Christians only marry virgins? This question is one that many single believers grapple with as they navigate the complexities of dating and relationships. In today’s culture, where values surrounding purity and sexuality vary widely, it’s natural to wonder what God truly desires in a marriage partner.

The Bible speaks a great deal about purity, but it also speaks about grace, redemption, and the power of transformation. For committed single Christians, the journey to finding a spouse is not just about physical virginity but about seeking a partner who shares a commitment to Christ and His ways.

Understanding Biblical Purity

Biblical purity is often associated with sexual abstinence before marriage, but it goes deeper than that. Purity in Scripture encompasses our thoughts, intentions, and hearts before God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 reminds us: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”

When considering a spouse, it’s important to recognize that purity is not just about a past decision but about a present commitment to living in a way that honors God.

20 Points to Consider When Seeking a Marriage Partner

1. God’s Grace Covers All Past Mistakes – We all have a past, and God’s grace is sufficient to forgive and restore anyone who has repented.
2. Character Matters More Than the Past – A person’s current walk with Christ and their commitment to godliness are more important than their history.
3. Purity is a Lifestyle, Not Just a Status – Seeking a spouse who values purity in thought, speech, and action is crucial.
4. Emotional and Spiritual Purity Are Vital – Beyond physical virginity, emotional and spiritual purity contribute to a healthy marriage.
5. Forgiveness is Key – If someone has repented of past sexual sin, it’s important to offer grace rather than judgment.
6. Seeking a Christ-Centered Relationship – The focus should be on building a relationship centered on Christ rather than past mistakes.
7. Healing and Redemption Are Possible – Many have experienced God’s healing after past relationships; redemption is real.
8. Virginity Is Not the Only Measure of Worth – A person’s value is found in Christ, not their past choices.
9. Communication is Essential – Discussing past experiences with honesty and grace helps build trust.
10. Boundaries Help Foster Purity – Setting clear boundaries in relationships can help both partners honor God.

More considerations

11. Accountability Is Helpful – Having mentors or accountability partners can strengthen your commitment to purity.
12. God Can Redeem and Use Anyone – No matter someone’s past, God can transform lives and use them for His glory.
13. Seeking God’s Will Above Cultural Expectations – Societal pressures should not dictate our decisions; God’s Word should.
14. Prayer Should Guide Your Choices – Asking God for wisdom in choosing a spouse is essential.
15. Understanding Sexual Integrity – Sexual integrity involves commitment to God’s design for marriage.
16. Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations – Focusing on what truly matters—faith, love, and character—helps avoid disappointment.
17. Avoiding Comparison – Every person’s journey is different; avoid comparing past experiences.
18. Mutual Commitment to Growth – Choosing a partner committed to growing in faith and purity is crucial.
19. Learning from the Past – Past experiences, whether good or bad, can help shape a better future in marriage.
20. Trusting in God’s Plan – Ultimately, God has a perfect plan for your life and marriage.

Practical Steps for Finding a Like-Minded Partner

If you’re seeking someone who shares your values and commitment to Christ, consider using Christian dating platforms like SALT. SALT is a leading global Christian dating app that connects believers who are intentional about faith-centered relationships. Whether you’re looking for someone who shares your commitment to purity or someone who values biblical principles, SALT provides a safe and welcoming environment to meet like-minded singles.

Final Thoughts

Rather than focusing solely on whether a potential spouse is a virgin, it’s important to seek a partner who is pursuing Christ wholeheartedly. Purity is not just about a person’s past but about their current and future commitment to honoring God in all aspects of life.

If you’ve been struggling with this question, remember that God’s grace is abundant. He calls us to pursue righteousness, to forgive, and to seek relationships that reflect His love and truth. Whether you’re waiting for marriage or have a past you regret, God’s love covers all, and He can lead you to the right person at the right time.

Stay encouraged, seek God first, and trust that He knows the desires of your heart.