Engagement is an exciting and transformative season in a Christian’s life. It’s a time of deepening commitment, preparation for marriage, and seeking God’s wisdom together. But one of the biggest questions many Christian couples ask is: Should Christians have a short engagement?

Some say a short engagement is wise to avoid temptation and keep momentum toward marriage. Others believe a longer engagement allows for better planning and a solid foundation. The reality is, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. However, there are biblical principles and practical wisdom that can help guide this decision.

1. The Purpose of Engagement

Engagement is not just an in-between phase—it’s a season of preparation for marriage. Biblically, we don’t see long engagement periods mentioned, but we do see the emphasis on marriage as a covenant before God. The goal of engagement is not just to plan a wedding but to prepare for a lifelong marriage.

2. The Danger of Prolonged Temptation

Let’s be real—staying pure in a relationship can be tough, especially when you are fully committed to one another and the wedding is in sight. Scripture is clear about the importance of purity (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). A short engagement can minimize the battle of physical temptation, keeping the relationship focused on godly preparation rather than resisting temptation.

3. The Importance of Readiness

Some couples rush into engagement because they are excited about marriage, but emotional, spiritual, and financial readiness matters. Before deciding on engagement length, ask:

• Have we completed premarital counseling?
• Are we spiritually aligned?
• Have we had important conversations about finances, family, and faith?
• Do we have wise counsel affirming our readiness?

If you’re well-prepared, a shorter engagement may be best. If not, you may need more time.

4. Practical Considerations

While engagement is a spiritual journey, there are practical aspects to consider:

• Wedding Planning: A short engagement requires quick decision-making and flexibility.
• Finances: Can you afford the wedding and transition into marriage?
• Family and Friends: Some may need time to make arrangements to attend.

5. The Role of Community and Counsel

Proverbs 15:22 reminds us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” Seeking guidance from your pastor, mentor, or married Christian couples can offer wisdom. Some couples I’ve counseled realized through wise counsel that they needed a longer engagement to work through unresolved issues.

6. Avoiding Engagement as a Trial Period

Engagement is not a trial run for marriage. If you’re unsure about marriage, it’s better to postpone engagement rather than extend it indefinitely. If a couple is engaged but still questioning their relationship, it may be wise to slow down rather than move forward too quickly.

7. Honoring God in the Process

Regardless of engagement length, the goal should always be to honor God. Use this time to:

• Strengthen your spiritual life as a couple.
• Seek biblical wisdom for marriage.
• Pray together regularly.

8. When a Short Engagement is a Good Idea

A short engagement may be beneficial if:

1. You are spiritually, emotionally, and financially prepared.
2. You have strong accountability and mentorship.
3. Wedding logistics are manageable within a short time.
4. You’ve completed or are currently in premarital counseling.
5. You are eager to start your marriage but aren’t rushing from impatience.

9. When a Longer Engagement Might Be Wiser

A longer engagement may be better if:

1. You need more time to work through important issues.
2. Finances or logistics require extended planning.
3. You haven’t had enough time for premarital counseling.
4. One or both of you have unresolved personal struggles.
5. You feel pressure to move forward quickly without peace.

10. Finding Balance in Your Relationship Timeline

Every couple is unique, and God’s timing is personal. If you’re seeking a godly partner, apps like SALT help connect committed Christian singles who are serious about marriage. Taking time to develop a solid foundation in dating can make engagement more purposeful and clear.

11. The Role of Faith in Your Decision

Prayer should be central in determining your engagement length. Ask God for clarity and wisdom (James 1:5). He will direct your steps when you seek Him earnestly.

12. Understanding Each Other’s Expectations

Discuss expectations about engagement length early in your relationship. Some people assume an engagement should be a year, while others expect it to be only a few months. Misaligned expectations can cause unnecessary stress.

13. Avoiding the Pressure of Culture

The world often places unnecessary pressure on wedding planning and engagement timelines. Social media can make you feel like you need an extravagant, well-planned wedding, but remember—the wedding is one day; the marriage is a lifetime.

14. Keeping Christ at the Center

A Christ-centered engagement focuses on more than wedding planning. It prioritizes:

• Regular prayer as a couple.
• Growing in biblical understanding of marriage.
• Seeking godly counsel.

15. Trusting God’s Timing

Whether short or long, the key is trusting God’s timing. He knows what’s best for your relationship, and He will guide you as you seek Him.

16. How to Make the Most of Your Engagement Season

Regardless of length, here’s how to make the most of your engagement:

1. Strengthen your relationship with God and each other.
2. Engage in premarital counseling.
3. Read books on Christian marriage.
4. Talk through important topics like finances, children, and faith.
5. Set boundaries to honor purity.
6. Serve in ministry together to grow spiritually.
7. Pray for your future marriage daily.

17. The Key Question: What Honors God the Most?

Instead of asking, “How short or long should our engagement be?” ask, “What will honor God the most in our relationship?” That shift in perspective can help bring clarity.

18. Practical Tips for Those Considering a Short Engagement

If you’re leaning toward a shorter engagement:

1. Communicate openly about expectations and logistics.
2. Stay connected to your church community for support.
3. Focus on preparation for marriage, not just the wedding.

19. Seeking Godly Wisdom from Others

Many couples have gone before you. Learn from their experiences. Ask married couples, “What do you wish you had known during engagement?” Their insights can help shape your perspective.

20. Final Thoughts

There is no perfect engagement length. What matters most is being spiritually and emotionally prepared, having wise counsel, and seeking God’s direction. Whether you choose a short or long engagement, keep your focus on Christ, honor each other, and prepare for a marriage that glorifies God.

If you’re still looking for a godly relationship, consider trying SALT to meet like-minded Christian singles who share your commitment to faith and marriage. God’s timing is always best—trust Him in your journey!