In today’s digital age, many single Christian women wonder if they should wait for a man to match first on a dating app or take a more proactive approach. This question isn’t just about modern dating culture; it touches on deeper issues of faith, trust, and personal values. While the Bible doesn’t provide a specific answer to online dating etiquette, it does offer wisdom that can guide our decisions.

Understanding Intentions and Biblical Wisdom

Before diving into whether Christian women should wait for a match, it’s important to examine the intentions behind online dating. Are you using a dating app to seek a God-honoring relationship, or is it simply for casual interaction? Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and acknowledge Him in all our ways. This applies to dating as well—seeking God’s wisdom in every step.

20 Points to Consider When Using Dating Apps

1. Pray About It First – Before creating a profile or making any decisions, ask God for guidance and clarity.
2. Choose the Right Platform – Consider using Christian-focused apps like SALT, which prioritize faith-based connections.
3. Define Your Standards – Know what you’re looking for in a partner and remain firm in your values.
4. Be Open Yet Discerning – While waiting can be wise, being open to making the first move doesn’t mean compromising your faith.
5. Understand the Biblical View of Pursuit – The Bible often portrays men as the pursuers, but it also encourages women to be active participants in God’s plan.
6. Avoid Making Assumptions – A man not matching first doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t interested; he might be shy or unsure.
7. Engage with Wisdom – If you feel led, initiating a conversation with kindness and respect can open doors.
8. Maintain Your Dignity – Regardless of whether you wait or initiate, keep your dignity and identity rooted in Christ.
9. Set Healthy Boundaries – Emotional and spiritual boundaries are just as important online as they are in person.
10. Seek Accountability – Talk to a trusted mentor or friend about your online dating journey.

More considerations

11. Don’t Compromise on Core Beliefs – Ensure that your potential match aligns with your Christian values.
12. Be Patient – God’s timing is perfect, and rushing into a relationship out of impatience can lead to regret.
13. Evaluate Effort and Intentions – If a man is truly interested, he will make an effort to pursue you intentionally.
14. Present Yourself Authentically – Your profile should reflect who you are in Christ and your genuine personality.
15. Don’t Over-Spiritualize Every Interaction – While faith is key, don’t assume every match is “the one” sent by God.
16. Practice Discernment with Online Communication – Not everyone on Christian dating apps shares the same commitment to faith.
17. Be Encouraging, Not Overbearing – If you choose to initiate, do so in a way that invites conversation rather than pressure.
18. Trust God’s Plan Over Algorithms – Technology is a tool, but God’s plan is sovereign.
19. Reflect Christ in Your Interactions – Whether you’re waiting or initiating, your actions should reflect the love of Christ.
20. Enjoy the Process – Dating is part of God’s design for companionship, so embrace it with joy and hope.

Should You Wait or Take Initiative?

While there is no hard rule, the choice of whether to wait for a man to match first depends on your personality, comfort level, and how you feel led by the Holy Spirit. There is nothing unbiblical about taking initiative, especially when done with grace and prayerful discernment.

Some women may feel more comfortable waiting, believing it allows men to take the lead, while others feel that showing interest is a way to encourage connection. Both approaches can be God-honoring when done with the right heart attitude.

A Balanced Approach

A balanced approach might involve waiting for a match but also being willing to reach out when you feel prompted. If you see a profile that genuinely resonates with you, there’s nothing wrong with sending a friendly message. Apps like SALT make it easier to connect with like-minded believers without compromising biblical principles.

Personal Experience and Encouragement

Many Christian women have found success in both waiting and taking initiative. One woman I know waited patiently, and when a godly man finally reached out, their relationship blossomed beautifully. Another took the initiative to send a kind message, which led to a Christ-centered marriage. Each story is different, but God is faithful in guiding those who seek Him.

Final Thoughts

Whether you choose to wait for a man to match first or take a step of faith and initiate a conversation, remember that your worth is found in Christ, not in a dating app. Trust in God’s timing, enjoy the process, and stay open to His leading. And remember, platforms like SALT provide a great space to meet fellow believers who share your faith and values.

Whatever your approach, keep your focus on God, stay true to yourself, and embrace the journey with faith and confidence.