Preparing for marriage is an exciting journey filled with anticipation, planning, and prayer. For Christian couples, it’s about more than just planning the wedding day; it’s about building a strong foundation for a lifelong covenant. One topic that often gets overlooked, or even avoided, is sexual intimacy. But should Christian couples get sex advice before they get married? Absolutely. Seeking wise, biblical guidance on this topic can help couples enter marriage with confidence, clarity, and a healthy understanding of God’s design for intimacy.

Why Seeking Sex Advice Before Marriage Matters

Many Christian couples enter marriage with little to no understanding of what sexual intimacy truly entails within a God-honoring marriage. Unfortunately, the culture around us bombards us with distorted messages about sex, and without guidance, it’s easy to bring misconceptions and unrealistic expectations into marriage.

Understanding God’s Design for Sex

Sex is a beautiful gift from God designed for marriage. Genesis 2:24 reminds us that in marriage, two become one flesh. This union is meant to reflect the intimacy and unity that God desires with us. Seeking advice before marriage helps couples align their understanding with biblical principles rather than cultural influences.

Breaking the Silence

Many Christian singles have grown up in environments where sex was a taboo topic. As a result, they may feel awkward or embarrassed discussing it with their future spouse. Receiving advice and having open, honest conversations can break down barriers and foster healthy communication.

Addressing Fears and Anxieties

It’s normal to have questions, concerns, or even fears about intimacy. Whether it’s concerns about past mistakes, body image issues, or performance anxiety, seeking guidance from trusted sources can provide reassurance and wisdom.

Developing a Healthy Perspective

Many Christians struggle with the tension between purity and the beauty of sex in marriage. Premarital sex advice helps couples transition from abstinence to enjoying intimacy freely within marriage without guilt or confusion.

Setting Realistic Expectations

Movies and media can paint a very unrealistic picture of sexual intimacy. Christian couples can benefit from advice that helps them set healthy, realistic expectations about what their sex life may look like in the early stages of marriage.

How to Seek Godly Sex Advice Before Marriage

So, where should Christian couples turn for trustworthy guidance? Here are some practical and biblical steps to take:

Seek Biblical Counseling

Speaking with a Christian counselor or pastor can provide couples with a safe space to discuss their concerns and receive guidance based on biblical truth.

Read Biblically Sound Books

There are many Christian books that provide healthy, biblical perspectives on marital intimacy. Some great reads include “The Meaning of Marriage” by Timothy Keller and “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman.

Attend Pre-Marital Counseling

Many churches offer pre-marital counseling programs that include sessions on intimacy, helping couples discuss expectations and address any concerns before the wedding day.

Talk to Married Christian Mentors

Seeking wisdom from a trusted married couple who shares your faith can provide valuable insights and encouragement.

Utilize Christian Dating Resources

If you’re still in the dating phase, platforms like SALT, a global Christian dating app, provide a great opportunity to connect with like-minded believers who value God’s design for marriage and intimacy.

Key Topics to Discuss Before Marriage

Once you’ve sought advice, it’s important to have open discussions with your future spouse. Here are some key topics to consider:

Past Sexual History

Understanding each other’s past and offering grace and forgiveness is crucial for moving forward with a clean slate in marriage.

Boundaries Before Marriage

Discussing physical boundaries before marriage can help protect your purity and honor God as you prepare for your wedding day.

Expectations for Frequency and Preferences

While it might feel awkward, discussing what each person envisions in terms of intimacy can help prevent misunderstandings later.

Differences in Desire

Every couple will face differences in desire levels at some point, and having a healthy understanding of this reality can promote patience and compromise.

The Emotional Side of Intimacy

Sex is not just physical; it has emotional and spiritual aspects as well. Talking about emotional connection and expectations can strengthen intimacy.

The Role of Prayer in Your Intimacy

Inviting God into every aspect of your marriage, including your intimacy, can bring a deeper connection and fulfillment.

Practical Steps for a Healthy Sexual Relationship After Marriage

Continue Communicating Openly

Marriage is a journey of growing together, and regular, honest conversations about intimacy can help both partners feel valued and understood.

Be Patient with One Another

Sexual intimacy is a learning process. Showing grace and patience as you grow in understanding each other’s needs is key.

Keep Christ at the Center

Seeking God’s guidance in your marriage, including your sex life, will keep your relationship aligned with His will.

Continue Seeking Advice When Needed

Marriage is a lifelong journey of growth. Don’t hesitate to seek advice from trusted Christian sources if challenges arise.

Final Thoughts

Getting sex advice before marriage isn’t about diminishing the mystery or beauty of intimacy—it’s about preparing your heart, mind, and relationship to honor God fully. By seeking guidance, discussing important topics with your partner, and relying on biblical wisdom, you can enter marriage with confidence and clarity.

If you’re still in the dating phase and looking for a committed Christian relationship, consider using a platform like SALT to connect with like-minded believers who share your values and goals for a Christ-centered marriage.

Embracing godly wisdom now will set you up for a marriage that thrives in love, trust, and intimacy as God intended.