There comes a time in life when it feels like everyone around you is hitting major milestones—graduations, career promotions, buying homes, and yes, getting married. For single Christians in their 20s and 30s, this can be especially challenging. Watching friends pair off and start families can stir up feelings of envy, sadness, or even doubt. You might find yourself wondering, “Why them and not me?” or “Has God forgotten about me?” Let’s explore some ways to overcome envy, refocus your heart, and find joy and purpose in your current season of life.

Recognize and Name Your Feelings

The first step in overcoming envy is acknowledging that it’s there. Pretending you’re not struggling only makes the feelings fester. Be honest with yourself and God about what you’re experiencing. Prayerfully name the emotions—whether it’s sadness, loneliness, jealousy, or frustration. God’s Word assures us in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” By bringing your feelings into the light, you allow God to begin the work of healing and transformation.

Shift Your Perspective

Envy often takes root when we focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do. Instead of viewing your friends’ marriages as a reflection of your lack, celebrate them as blessings in their lives. Philippians 4:8 encourages us to dwell on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Cultivating gratitude for what God is doing in others’ lives will naturally shift your focus away from envy.

Consider making a gratitude journal a daily practice. Each evening, write down three things you’re thankful for. These could be as simple as a meaningful conversation, a sunny day, or an opportunity to serve someone else. Gratitude rewires our hearts to see God’s goodness in every season.

Trust God’s Timing

The Bible is full of examples of people who had to wait for God’s promises to be fulfilled. Abraham and Sarah waited decades for their promised son, Isaac. Joseph endured years of slavery and imprisonment before becoming a leader in Egypt. Their stories remind us that God’s timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t match ours. Ecclesiastes 3:11 assures us, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

While waiting can be hard, trust that God knows what’s best for you. Marriage is a good gift, but it’s not the ultimate goal of life. Your identity and purpose are found in Christ, not in your relationship status. Lean into this truth, and let it bring you peace as you trust God’s plan for your future.

Invest in Meaningful Relationships

One way to combat envy is to deepen your connections with others. While your married friends are adjusting to their new lives, look for opportunities to build community with other singles, mentor younger believers, or invest in friendships. The church is a family, and you are a vital part of it.

Consider joining or starting a small group for single Christians. This can be a space to share struggles, encourage one another, and grow in faith together. You might also explore platforms like SALT, a Christian dating app designed to help you connect with like-minded believers. SALT emphasizes faith-first relationships, making it a great tool to expand your social circle and potentially meet someone special.

Pursue Your God-Given Purpose

Your singleness is not a season to endure but a gift to steward. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 that single believers can be wholly devoted to the Lord’s work. Use this time to pursue your passions, serve in ministry, or develop your skills. Whether it’s leading worship, volunteering at a local shelter, or pursuing a new career opportunity, embrace this season as a chance to glorify God in unique ways.

Personally, I found some of my most fulfilling moments during my single years came when I poured myself into serving others. Volunteering at a youth ministry not only gave me purpose but also connected me with lifelong friends who became like family. When we step outside of ourselves, we often find that our own hearts are renewed in the process.

Guard Your Heart Against Comparison

Comparison is one of the biggest thieves of joy. Social media often paints a highlight reel of people’s lives, making it easy to feel like you’re falling behind. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique. God is writing your story, and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

If social media is fueling your envy, take a break. Use that time to dive into Scripture, pray, or engage in hobbies that bring you joy. Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Renew your mind by filling it with God’s truth rather than the world’s comparisons.

Celebrate With Your Friends

It might feel counterintuitive, but celebrating your friends’ marriages can be a powerful way to overcome envy. Attend their weddings, give thoughtful gifts, and rejoice in their joy. Romans 12:15 encourages us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” By choosing to celebrate, you’re practicing selflessness and love.

One of my closest friends got married when I was going through a particularly lonely season. I remember praying before her wedding, asking God to fill me with genuine joy for her. Not only did He answer that prayer, but celebrating with her also brought unexpected joy into my own life. God has a way of blessing us when we choose to bless others.

Pray Without Ceasing

Finally, bring your desires, struggles, and hopes to God in prayer. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Ask God to help you trust His plan, to guard your heart against envy, and to prepare you for the future He has for you. And remember, prayer isn’t just about asking—it’s about building intimacy with your Heavenly Father. Let Him remind you of His deep love for you, no matter your circumstances.

---

Envy can be a tough emotion to navigate, but with God’s help, it’s possible to overcome it. By shifting your focus, trusting His timing, investing in meaningful relationships, and pursuing your purpose, you can find contentment and joy in this season. Remember, God sees you, loves you, and is actively working all things for your good. You are not alone—He is with you every step of the way.