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How can I feel more content in my singleness?

Last modified on January 30, 2025

Isabel Butterfield
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Singleness can feel like a season of waiting, uncertainty, or even longing—especially when it seems like everyone around you is moving forward in relationships, marriage, or starting families. If you’re navigating this stage of life, you might wonder, “How can I feel more content in my singleness?” It’s a question worth asking because God’s design for this season of your life isn’t frustration or dissatisfaction. Instead, He desires to meet you in your singleness and fill it with purpose, joy, and peace.

Here are some key steps to help you embrace this season with contentment and faith.

1. Redefine Singleness: A Season, Not a Status

Sometimes, singleness feels like a label or a problem to solve. But what if we saw it as a season instead of a permanent identity? Scripture reminds us that every stage of life has its own unique purpose. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Your singleness is not a waiting room but a vibrant season God has given you. It’s a time to grow deeper in your relationship with Him, to pursue your God-given calling, and to build meaningful connections with others.

2. Focus on Your Relationship with God

The truth is, no relationship—no matter how wonderful—can fill the space in your heart designed for God. Singleness offers a unique opportunity to cultivate an intimate relationship with Him.

Use this time to grow spiritually by:

  • Diving into Scripture: Spend time studying God’s Word and learning more about His character and promises.
  • Prioritizing Prayer: Develop a consistent prayer life where you can bring your desires, worries, and dreams to God.
  • Serving Others: Look for ways to serve in your church or community. As you pour out love and care for others, you’ll often find your own heart filled in return.
guy at breakfast bar

3. Build a Community That Supports and Encourages You

Sometimes, singleness feels isolating. But God has designed us for community. Seek out friendships with people who encourage you, challenge you in your faith, and remind you of God’s truths. This can include friends, mentors, or even small groups at church.

Community is also a great way to combat the lie that you’re alone or forgotten. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your life and who are rooting for your growth and joy.

4. Pursue Your Passions and Callings

One of the unique gifts of singleness is freedom. Paul highlights this in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, where he talks about how single people can focus on pleasing the Lord without distraction. This doesn’t mean married life is inferior, but it does show that singleness allows for a unique focus and energy.

Take time to explore the passions and callings God has placed on your heart. This could mean traveling, pursuing further education, developing a new skill, or starting a ministry. When you align your life with God’s purposes, you’ll find a deep sense of fulfillment and joy.

5. Address the Challenges Honestly

Singleness isn’t always easy, and that’s okay. It’s important to be honest with yourself and God about the struggles you’re facing. Whether it’s loneliness, comparison, or fear of the future, bring those feelings to God in prayer. The Psalms are a beautiful example of how we can pour out our hearts to God while also trusting in His faithfulness.

Additionally, if you find yourself wrestling with unhealthy patterns of thinking or feeling stuck, consider seeking wise counsel from a trusted mentor or counselor. Sometimes, an outside perspective can bring clarity and healing.

6. Be Open to Opportunities

While contentment in singleness is essential, it’s also important to remain open to the possibility of a relationship. God often works in unexpected ways and at unexpected times. If you’re interested in meeting someone who shares your faith and values, consider resources like the SALT Christian Dating App. Designed specifically for Christians, SALT provides a safe and intentional platform to connect with like-minded individuals. By engaging in spaces that align with your beliefs, you can approach dating with confidence and trust.

7. Trust God’s Timing and Plan

Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God’s timing is always perfect, even when it doesn’t align with our expectations. Rest in the knowledge that He is working all things for your good and His glory.

A personal story: In my late twenties, I went through a season where singleness felt heavy. I vividly remember praying one night, asking God why this season was lasting so long. The answer didn’t come immediately, but over time, I saw how He used that period to shape my character, deepen my faith, and prepare me for what was next. Looking back, I wouldn’t trade those years for anything.

8. Practice Gratitude

Finally, cultivating contentment in singleness often starts with gratitude. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, take time to recognize and thank God for the blessings in your life. This could include your health, friendships, career, or spiritual growth. Gratitude shifts our perspective and reminds us of God’s goodness.

Final Thoughts

Singleness is not a season to be merely endured but one to be embraced. By seeking God first, building meaningful relationships, pursuing your passions, and trusting His timing, you can experience deep contentment and joy. Remember, God’s plans for your life are good—and that includes this season of singleness.

Whether you’re focusing on personal growth, deepening your relationship with God, or exploring opportunities like SALT to meet other Christians, know that you are deeply loved and never alone in your journey.

One response to “How can I feel more content in my singleness?”

  1. James Wesley Avatar
    James Wesley

    Is contentment a feeling?

    Don’t overthink “contentment.” And don’t try too hard to “make” yourself content. We can’t help the way certain situations make us feel. We can control our decisions and actions, yes. But you can’t help it if you want a relationship, and you can’t help it when it hurts that you’re not.

    In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul talked about people who were discontent with singleness, and he encouraged those people toget married. He didn’t beat them over the head about how much more “content” they had to be before marrying.

    If you’re single, you hear people pontificate to you about “contentment” all the time. In Philippians 4:12, when Paul reminds us to be content in whatever state we’re in, he’s referring to our ultimate contentment in God. There’s no requirement to force ourselves to be happy about every situation. Having and expressing the desire doesn’t make you weak. Admitting and expressing frustration and loneliness doesn’t make you weak.

    A lot of times, singles will feel lonely in their situation. That’s fine. We can’t help that. But we can also feel guilty for being lonely because as Christians we have things to be thankful for and we’re often presented with the message that all the good Christians must be “content.” We’re also sometimes told that we have to be “content” before God will bless us with romantic love. This is a popular idea in modern church culture, but we’re not required to be completely satisfied with life, whether we’re married or single. We live in a bad world, where bad things happen and life doesn’t always go our way. We don’t have to repress our emotions or pretend that these situations make us happy. Nor do we have to pretend that these desires are unimportant to us. It’s OK to feel and express sadness and loneliness. We’re not going to disappoint God for feeling emotions that we can’t control anyway.

    Ideas like this imply that your “season” of singleness will end once we learn to properly exercise contentment. Apparently all the married couples somehow mastered this, and reached some pinnacle of contentment that God approved of and rewarded accordingly. As if we can use a formula and reverse psychology to convince God to give us the thing we want. Sometimes married couples will tell you that their story went like this, that God “blessed” them with a spouse once they stopped “idolizing” marriage, or once they “stopped looking.” Or once they “learned to be content.” Cool story. As if that’s some sort of universal rule. The Bible doesn’t mention this weird idea anywhere.

    If you want love/marriage/sex badly, well, you can’t make yourself “stop” wanting those things. What a silly idea. You’re not being “worldly” or sinful just by expressing desires for things like these. If Christians were able to repress or ignore these desires, why would any Christian ever marry?

    Like you said, it’s OK to stay open to opportunities.
    Also, concerning Jeremiah 29:11: this is a promise made by God to the exiles in Babylon. Not to us. God had promised to bring Israel back; therefore, the exiles could be assured that they had a future and a hope. This promise was not made to all nations at the time, but only to Israel.

    Another important and interesting aspect of this verse: Jeremiah 29:11 promised that the nation of Israel would be restored—but very few of the exiles actually lived to see the fulfillment of that prophecy 70 years later. Most of them died without seeing the future that God had planned. Similarly, we have a future and hope in Christ—but not a guarantee that things will go well in this life. Romans 8:28 even promises trials to Christians. Maybe unwanted singleness is just one of these, a trial inflicted on us by the world, rather than by God.

    Reply

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