“Is it okay to date multiple people?” This is another hot topic among Christian singles. I thought I’d find a few surveys showing both sides of the answer, but I came up short. Despite the differing opinions I hear in everyday conversations, I’m not aware of any official study discussing this topic specifically among single Christians. So, let’s break down what dating multiple people means and go from there.

What It Means

Dating multiple people can mean seeing one or two people at the same time. Others may date three or four, but usually nothing beyond that. Dating multiple people—also called “multi-dating” or non-exclusive dating—is the practice of going on first or early dates with more than one person during the same period before making any exclusivity agreement. I think many Christian singles get nervous about this because they confuse it with polyamory or open relationships. That’s not the case here.

If you’re in the early stages of dating, especially if you’ve met on a dating app, it’s too soon to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend. You don’t know them well enough yet. For some, it’s acceptable to explore other connections until a relationship is clearly defined. If it’s not, they simply continue dating until their status changes. There’s no malicious or ill intent—it’s just dating. Dating is gathering data. You’re learning whether you want to be in a committed relationship with someone. It’s not about jumping from zero to one thousand and asking, “Is this person my spouse?” You’ll get there in time, but it’s too soon to know.

Is it Okay For Christians?

“Should I date multiple people?” Maybe you’ve asked yourself this question as a single Christian, wondering if it’s right or wrong. Some prefer dating one person at a time to avoid confusion. Others believe dating multiple people is dishonest to the other person. Still, some argue that if you’re not in an exclusive relationship and you’re being upfront about it, it’s perfectly fine to date more than one person at a time.

Many Christian singles don’t want to put all their eggs in one basket when it comes to dating. So unless exclusivity has been established, they don’t mind keeping their options open to avoid emotionally investing too soon. Before I share my personal experiences and opinion, let’s see what the SALT Social community has to say—starting with those who think it’s okay.

Pro Dating Multiple People:

“Dating multiple people on a dating site is generally acceptable, as these platforms often encourage exploring different connections to find compatibility. However, honesty and transparency are key. Communicating your intentions ensures mutual understanding and avoids potential misunderstandings.”

-Janie

“I wouldn’t call chatting on here with more than one match “dating.” It’s learning more about someone, while sharing more about yourself, because we’re on an app to meet people. And tbh some people post so little on their profile you need to ask questions & learn more. Once you take it offline- I do think that changes. But if you want to officially date someone: don’t wonder if or assume they’re on the same page. Ask, “So just to clarify- are we officially dating now?” Or “I’d like to date you.”

“I think using the phrase “exploring options” is fine if we talk about buying a car, tv, etc. Each person is unique, irreplaceable, unrepeatable, created in God’s image. And what will happen to you if you start revealing your soul to a lot of people? Surely you can always make a step back, but please be careful. The basis for comparison is not something that is always good for one to have.”

-Preslav

“Friends/talking with more than one person is fine by me incl. meeting up IRL. When the man tells me he is interested in something more intentional like dating or courtship and we have met each other’s families then I see that as a sign to focus on one person. Sorry, there are timewasters out there…and I haven’t got 5 years for someone to make up their mind about me! I usually know how I feel about someone in a few weeks because I give most men a chance and the benefit of the doubt, by faith.”

-Tonya

“…early stages of friendship building…” is friendship. You can make friends with whoever you want and have as many friends as you want. Talking is talking. Catching up with a friend is catching up with a friend. When you cross the line to date and give exclusivity and commitment then you owe it to the other party to cease communication with other potential future partners… and sometimes they may be friends that like you and would want more.”

-Jude

“I think chatting with multiple people and meeting multiple people is perfectly fine if you’re getting to know people. The problem is if you commit to being in a relationship with someone and then you still are talking in secret to others and going out on dates with others while you are in a relationship then that’s when it crosses the line into cheating.”

“In that stage you mention, yes. I’d say it’s not only okay but necessary as a man. Eventually many of the options fade away.”

-Juan

“I’ve spoken to a couple of people on here at the same time. Usually there’s been something that we agreed how we weren’t right for each other. If I do ever meet face-to-face, I think that would be ok, as it’s still friendship. Think knowing you have a preference of one to officially go on a date, it’s important to be honest with anyone else about the situation. Give them full disclosure. Let them down gently etc.”

-Kelly

Tips for Multi-Dating

From what I’ve gathered from those who are okay with dating multiple people at a time, the key is clear communication and transparency from the start. There should be no deception on either side. When it comes time to “define the relationship,” you should let the other person know exactly where you stand.

It becomes dangerous when we start viewing people as disposable. While dating apps can be efficient, some take advantage of them and play with people’s hearts. Christian singles know that God does not approve of this type of behavior and aim to treat others the way they would want to be treated.

My Story

Before meeting my husband, there was a time when I was talking to two men at once. I wasn’t exclusive with either of them—it was still the early “getting to know you” stage. If one of them had made his intentions clear about pursuing a relationship, I would have ended communication with the other out of respect for my new relationship. It wasn’t something I planned, but I knew that if things progressed, I would need to be honest with the other person about entering an exclusive relationship. In my case, things naturally fizzled out with both men, so no such conversation was necessary.

When I met my husband years later, he was the only man I spoke to. Within a few weeks, he made it clear that he wanted to pursue a relationship with me, so I saw no need to date anyone else. Now, let’s look at those who oppose dating multiple people.

Against Dating Multiple People:

“That’s a no no … Emotions are involved and would be so immature and insensitive to do that to people on here and out being sure of what you want …in my opinion it’s lame.”

-Fernandez

“For myself if I am talking to someone who seems interested in a relationship then I don’t pursue anyone else. So for it hasn’t worked out for me but I don’t think I could divide my attention.”

-Peter

“My go to Scripture on this is Phil 2:3 -4 and Prov 3:3-4. Scripture says to be ‘hesed’ and ’emet’: to be kind/mercy/loving’ and to be ‘truthful/faithful’. Scripture says not be conceited and driven by self-ambition, instead count other more than yourself. You should be making friends in real hobbies and events, not dating apps. If you are shopping for a boyfriend and treating the emotion of other God’s children as trivial playthings, God has said “it is mine to avenge, I shall repay.”

-Amos

“Firstly, we should be intentional and also recognize that everyone we meet is valued by God – treat them as a sister/brother in Christ and set out to bless them. Dating multiple people might be “permissible” but I feel very uneasy about the idea. The point of having details on a profile is to provide a sense of who we are (faith, personality, interests), then chatting (for maybe a week or two) to get to know a bit more, then meeting in person is a positive step – especially if there’s distance.”

-Rob

“I can’t talk to multiple people it’s hard. Pray God gets us out of this mess.”

-Nessa

Practice Caution

My husband once told me the reason he didn’t date more than one person at a time was because he knew his emotions would surface rather quickly. To avoid splitting his attention, he never put himself in that position. Many Christian singles share this mindset and avoid it for the same reason. They’re aware of their emotions and don’t want to risk misleading someone else.

Ultimately, I think this comes down to personal conviction. If you’re willing to be transparent and honest while dating, then seeing two people at the same time during the “getting to know you” phase can be fine. The water gets murky, however, if you start dating more than three people—or five or six at once. On the other hand, if you’re not comfortable dating more than one person at a time, then don’t.

It’s really about knowing yourself. If you tend to get attached quickly—especially if you’ve been single for a long time—it might work in your favor to date more than one person until you naturally become exclusive with one of them. Many Christian singles have gone months or years without dating, so when they meet someone they click with, they immediately think that person must be “the one.”

No Condemnation

The mistake I see many Christian singles make is trying to press their personal convictions onto others. They feel so strongly about it that they expect everyone to share their view—or they shame those who don’t. The truth is, there’s no specific Bible verse that says, “Don’t date multiple people at a time.” If you’re dating in a way that honors the Lord and others, and you’re comfortable seeing more than one person, you can do so with a clear conscience. It only becomes serial dating when you date someone for a while, break up, then quickly move on to the next, repeating the pattern over and over.

Dating is simply the process of getting to know someone. You don’t have to commit until you both agree to be exclusive. Many Christian singles get attached too quickly and feel obligated to the other person—even without any commitment. This is why some choose to date one or two people at a time: they know their tendencies and want to protect themselves and their hearts. Do you know where you fall on the spectrum? If not, ask God for guidance so you can date with integrity. 

SALT Social

Want to give your input? Want to join the next conversation? SALT Social is the place to be! It’s the go-to space for Christian singles to connect in a fun yet Kingdom-centered way. Ask for relationship advice, share a worship song, or post a photo of your favorite vacation spot. You’re not alone in your single journey, no matter how lonely it may feel at times. There are plenty of amazing Christian single men and women ready to come alongside you, helping you build friendships and community. And who knows—you might even meet someone special along the way.

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