I’ve simply lost count of the podcasts and YouTube channels that give out dating advice. The majority of the audience is women, and a lot of content creators know this, so most capitalize on it to make money. You see mostly women buying the self-improvement books, going to therapy, and running to conferences in hopes that they’ll hear the one thing they need to in order to get married within the year. Such is the dating advice for Christian women!

TL;DR: The Summary

I get it. You’re tired of the same old dating advice for Christian women. You’re tired of the Christian life feeling like a race for a ring. But, you are serious about wanting to find a husband.

Here are some tips you can use as you proceed through your dating journey. This is dating advice for Christian women that’s practical, achievable and not cliche.

1. Faith Over Formula
2. Discernment Over Desperation
3. Peace Over Pressure
4. Truth Over Chemistry
5. Purpose Over Performance

Remember, this is not an exhaustive list. Your story is unique to you, so be open as God leads. Just because you haven’t met the right man yet doesn’t mean he’s not out there. God knows who you need and who will love your heart well. Let’s go deeper with these points.

Intro

I see women in the comments who post things like “Lord, may this type of love find me now,” after seeing a couple’s video on Facebook or Instagram. While there are women who are content with being single, there are others who’ve wanted to be a wife and mother since they were little girls.

Maybe you were like me and you played with dolls. You had a play kitchen that made you feel like a homemaker. As you got older, you started dating and thought your high school boyfriend was “the one,” only to be heartbroken later. Now you’re in your twenties, going to school, and it feels like you have time to meet someone—but then thirty arrives in the blink of an eye.

Your family is not much help either. They ask, “Are you dating anyone?” or “When are you going to get married?” or “You need to hurry up so you can have children.” I want to remind you that there is no expiration date that God has on you which determines when you get married or not. Some women get married right out of high school, others like me in their thirties, and others after forty and beyond. I just read a story of a woman who got married at forty-one, and another who married at fifty-five.

Running out of time

Most women live in fear of getting married later in life. They think something’s wrong with them. That God is punishing them for past mistakes or that they’re just not lovable. These are all lies. You’re a daughter of the Most High King. Your life was worth His blood, so don’t dare believe that you’re unlovable.

1. Faith Over Formula

There’s no magic blueprint that guarantees marriage. A lot of dating advice for Christian women becomes a formula: “If you do A + B, then God will bless you with C.” That’s not faith—it’s superstition dressed in Scripture. God is not a vending machine.

I remember when artist Ciara shared her story about how she met her husband Russell Wilson. She talked about a specific prayer she prayed, and suddenly all the women wanted to know, “What exactly did you say?” I understand the reasoning behind this—someone’s testimony can inspire us—but the tone of most of these women sounded desperate.

There’s no one prayer you can pray that will magically make your husband appear. If love were a formula, everyone would be successful. So why some and not others? I don’t know why some things happen quickly for certain people while it takes years for others. The key is—can you look at someone else’s story and truly rejoice with them? Can you walk away after listening and say, “God, if you did it for them, you can do it for me. I trust you to write my story.”

What does faith mean?

Faith means trusting God even when you don’t have all the answers. It’s being led by the Holy Spirit, not just a podcast, pastor, or influencer. It’s knowing that God sees your desire and hasn’t forgotten you, even if your story doesn’t look like your friends’ or your timeline doesn’t make sense yet.

When you try to follow formulas, you start treating God like a contract instead of a covenant partner. You pray as if He owes you something. But faith says, “Lord, I trust Your heart even when I don’t understand Your hand.”

There’s beauty in surrender. Because the truth is—faith grows in the waiting. You learn to depend on God in ways that go beyond your relationship status. When your heart posture shifts from “When will it happen?” to “God, I trust You even here,” that’s when you begin to experience real peace.

2. Discernment Over Desperation

Not every Christian is a God-sent partner. Just because he knows the Bible doesn’t mean he’s walking in obedience. Desperation clouds judgment, while discernment protects it. You can be hopeful without being blind.

I find that a lot of women get desperate as they get older. So much so that they’d rather take the scraps of any man than not have one at all. Meaning—even if he’s not a Christian—they’ll consider a relationship with him thinking, “I can lead him to Jesus.” Missionary dating is never a good idea. He needs to love God for himself—not because you think it’ll make him “husband material.”

I’ve seen the enemy use desperation to bring more heartache to God’s daughters. Christian women find themselves so hurt that they either become bitter and cynical or throw in the towel completely and think they’re called to singleness, knowing full and well that the desire for marriage is still there.

You don’t know what God will do

Even if you didn’t get married at twenty-five, who’s to say God won’t bless your love life later? I used to think I’d get married before thirty because my mother got married at twenty-six. My thought process was, “God, you’re no respecter of persons, so if you did it for my mother, you’ll do it for me.” Not realizing that my story was different from hers. There were things in my heart that God needed to work out, and it took longer.

I didn’t meet my husband until the year I turned thirty-one, and we married the year I turned thirty-three. You think I regret getting married later—especially after witnessing what an incredible man my husband is? Of course not. I’m glad God took His time because it made the bond with my husband that much more special.

Don’t fall into desperation. God gives discernment to spare you—so use it. Pay attention to the fruit of someone’s life, not just their words. Is he accountable? Humble? Does his character show growth?

Discernment is the spiritual guardrail that keeps your heart safe. When you rush, you risk ignoring red flags. When you pause, you give God room to reveal the truth. Sometimes discernment means walking away even when it’s lonely. Because staying attached to the wrong person can delay what’s right. Waiting on God may feel slow, but settling will cost you more in the long run.

3. Peace Over Pressure

There’s a difference between feeling challenged and feeling chaotic. One is growth. The other is a warning. If every conversation feels like an interview, or you’re constantly justifying why it’s “not that bad,” pause. God’s peace doesn’t make you panic.

When God is in the center, you don’t need to chase or beg for love. Peace becomes your guide. You can enjoy getting to know someone without forcing the future. You’re not late, and you’re not behind. Pressure is not a prerequisite for a promise.

My experience

I remember talking to guys in the past and there was always pressure. Pressure to move too fast—especially sexually. I knew I wanted to honor God, but those values always clashed with theirs. This wasn’t the case when I met my husband. He wanted to please God too, so we were always in sync. When it’s God putting you two together, there’s a peace that follows.

What peace means

Peace doesn’t mean everything is perfect, but it means the relationship doesn’t drain you. You don’t have to over-explain your boundaries. A woman shouldn’t feel like they’re walking on eggshells. You don’t spend your nights overanalyzing texts or wondering where you stand. When a relationship is aligned with God, you’ll feel stability instead of confusion. Peace produces fruit. Pressure produces anxiety. Learn to recognize the difference early on.

If you find yourself in constant emotional turmoil, step back. Sometimes God’s way of protecting you is by disturbing your comfort. Listen to the still, small voice instead of the loud opinions around you. Dating with peace means you’re walking with God, not racing against time. It means you’re free to enjoy the process, knowing that what’s meant for you doesn’t need to be manipulated to stay.

4. Truth Over Chemistry

Attraction is great—but it’s not enough. Many Christian women overlook deep issues because the chemistry is there. But chemistry doesn’t sustain covenant. Truth does.

Can you talk about hard things? Can you pray together? Does he repent or just apologize?

God doesn’t want you infatuated with potential or the superficial. He wants you anchored in truth. Emotional maturity, spiritual alignment, and shared values outlast butterflies. If you feel like you have to downplay reality to keep the vibe, that’s your sign it’s not love—it’s a lesson.

Marriage is hard

I can tell you from experience that life will happen to you even after you get married. Chemistry is great, but you need a deeper foundation to weather the storms of life. This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. I still laugh and have fun with my husband, but I also know he’s a prayer warrior and will go above and beyond to fight for me and our family. That’s the kind of strength you want by your side—someone who not only makes you laugh but also goes to battle in prayer when life gets tough.

Truth is what holds you when emotions fade. It’s what keeps you steady when disagreements happen. It’s what reminds you that marriage is not just about happiness—it’s about holiness.

Don’t ignore what God is showing you just because the chemistry feels strong. The right man will bring both peace and truth. He won’t make you choose between the two.

5. Purpose Over Performance

You’re not auditioning to be someone’s wife. You’re not on trial to “prove” your worth. Dating is not a stage where you perform holiness to be chosen. You are already chosen, already loved, already enough in Christ.

I see a lot of women nitpick themselves, trying to be what the man wants. A genuine and godly man will want you to be yourself. If you’re introverted, he won’t mind. If you’re more outgoing and bubbly, he’ll adore that. While we’re all maturing to be more like Jesus, you shouldn’t be trying to change the essence of who you are to fit someone else’s idea. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and the right man will see and embrace it.

I used to feel insecure growing up introverted and more quiet. It was a breath of fresh air when my husband thought nothing of it. If anything, he tells me, “You’re very calming.” I never thought about it that way because I was so focused on the negative and what others were telling me. Who I am fits my husband—and the same will be true for you.

Be You

Bring your whole self to the table—flaws, quirks, faith, and all. A Christ-centered relationship isn’t about being impressive—it’s about being aligned. Don’t pretend to be low-maintenance, emotionless, or overly agreeable to keep someone’s interest. God’s match for you will match your purpose, not just your preferences.

When you understand purpose, you stop performing. You start resting. You show up as the woman God designed, not as the one culture pressures you to be. The right relationship will confirm your purpose, not compete with it.

Let’s Conclude

Dating as Christian women isn’t easy, especially when it feels like the world moves faster than God’s timing. But your story is still being written by the Author of love Himself. Don’t compare your chapter to someone else’s highlight reel. Don’t rush what God is still refining. You are not behind, forgotten, or overlooked. God is faithful, and He knows exactly where you are.

Faith will keep you steady. Discernment will protect you. Peace will guard your heart. Truth will anchor your love. And purpose will remind you that you are already whole in Christ.

The right man won’t complete you—he’ll complement the work God’s already doing in you. So stay encouraged, stay faithful, and stay open. God is still in the business of writing beautiful love stories—and yours is no exception.

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