In this post, I’ve collated the opinions of Christians on SALT after we asked the question, “Do you believe in ‘The One’?

Intro

“It is statistically unlikely for everyone to have their ‘’one’’. But for those who’ve found theirs, blessed are they!”

-Chris from SALT Social

Before I was married, I felt like God showed me a vision of what my wife will be like.  I’ll meet her in England, she will have brown hair, be shy and quiet, and my love for her will grow over time.  That’s what I felt it was going to be, but I didn’t really know how 100% that vision was, so I was open to anything God had for me.

Now that I’ve been married for 3 years, I was reminiscing the other day about my wife.  She’s wonderful, she’s beautiful, and I’m so glad I married her, but I don’t think I ever felt a sense of “this is the one”, like she was the fulfillment of that fate.  We matched on SALT, we immediately hit it off, and I lost interest in every other woman as soon as we started bantering back-and-forth.  I guess you could call that fate, or God, or whatever, but to me it just felt like coming home to someone I felt safe with.  It wasn’t some earth-shattering event, though, and I think because I grew up in a very spiritual and intense church, I’ve doubted at times whether or not she was actually “the one” for me.

Is there such a thing as ‘the one’?

“I think God can guide us to the right person, but I don’t think there is some concept like ‘the one’.  It’s better to just say ‘God happened’.”

-Susanna

But I don’t even think it felt like that, at least not right away.  It just felt like this woman is amazing and I wanna get to know her more.

“I believe God knows who’s the best person for you and will line you both up to meet each other if you both are letting Him lead you.”

-Jewel

This sounds like salient advice also, but I don’t think either of us were even really in an amazing place spiritually when we met (which also played into my doubts – did I meet the wrong person because I wasn’t right with God and therefore I met someone who was outside of his will?  Was this just a “carnal” match?).  Even now that I feel like I’ve got my feet on the ground more spiritually, I don’t regret marrying her at all.  She’s still the love of my life, my best friend, someone I would die for and someone I want to spend every day of my life with.  So whether or not it was the “right” decision, it’s a decision I’m glad I made and wouldn’t trade for anyone else.  

So maybe it’s not a fate thing – maybe we just have chance encounters and have to play the numbers game like everyone else.

Have I got it wrong?

“I read something once that basically said if there was ‘the one’ and someone married someone who wasn’t ‘the one’ then that means everyone else would end up marrying the wrong person.”

-Scott

So surely it can’t be that clear-cut because otherwise we’d all be wandering forever, rejecting people who would be amazing for us because we don’t…I dunno, hear angels coming down when we look at them?  Feel our hearts leap? Start levitating when we see their profile? It’s not like that feels much different than just normal attraction anyway, we just spiritualize it and call it God’s will.

“Of course there are multiple compatible partners for each of us. If people didn’t have such high standards these days, there would be a lot less single people in my opinion.”

-Aaron

Our choice

This resonates more with me because I could have ended up with various other women – people who would have been awesome in some ways and lacking in others, people who I would have been compatible with or not, people that could meet my needs and some who couldn’t.  Maybe the reason I find my wife so “perfect” is because I’ve just learned to adapt to whoever was in front of me and made the choice every day to love her.  Which is romantic in its own right.

“I think the one you end up marrying is the one. ☝️”

-Liam

And I’ve grown so much as a person, too, since we’ve met.  I’ve become more patient, more self-aware, less selfish, less cringe.  Looking back, I don’t even know who I was before I met her – and as someone who believes God is active in my life, there’s no way he wasn’t involved with that process to some degree.

“I think the whole idea of ‘the one’ exists only in Hollywood romance movies.  There is no such thing as living happily ever after – we should enter marriage knowing that this person is human and not perfect rather than looking for someone to complete us.”

-Leonard

And yet I do feel completed, in many ways, by being married to her.  I feel like we’re one unit, like we’re… for lack of a better word, made for each other.

“There is ‘the one’ out there, and you are ‘the one’ too for someone else!”

-Adekunle

God is Sovereign

At ministry school they used to describe God as “Jehovah sneaky” – meaning we don’t realize everything was happening according to His plan until we look back and reflect on the big picture of our lives.  Maybe that’s what this is, because when I think about the journey I went on, and how I managed to meet someone that is not only okay with my quirks and flaws, but actively enjoys me as a person (and I her!), it makes me realize how uncoincidental our encounter was.  I think I’ve changed my mind – it has to be God.  Maybe even from the beginning.

Oh yeah, and she is quiet with brown hair.

“I think the underlying question is, does God determine who we love or have we been given the ability to choose from our own hearts? Depending on the answer, there are either many potential partners or only ‘the one’.”

-Mel

SALT Social

Conversations like these can really help us feel connected in an increasingly solitary world.  Come connect with a vibrant community of single Christians on SOCIAL – a community feed built right into the SALT app!  

SOCIAL is the go-to space for users to connect on a fun, engaging platform that’s about sharing life together.  Ask for relationship advice, share a worship song, or post a photo of your favourite coffee spot.  And who knows, you might meet someone amazing along the way!

Join in the conversation today on SOCIAL! You’ll need to download the SALT app to not miss out.

Sometimes Christians give cliche answers in Christian dating. If you enjoy a laugh read all the Christian dating cliches here.