While getting to know a women of you are looking for someone traditional you are expected to be traditional:). FYI we need to learn what the term traditional is from back in the days . Also men please ASK questions :) even the dumbest questions get to know her and not just hear her but listen to her. Communication is so IMPORTANT!!
Don't expect something from a woman that you're not willing to do or be yourself.
Know that who you are is worthy of being loved and treasured. Get to know your identity in Christ and the immense love that God has for you as we will never be able to complete you (nor you us). Learn to identity your needs and communicate them because they're important (as well as to hear the needs of others).
Be interested in God's word. I think the most attractive thing is having a good bible study with someone. Questioning things and learning together is so much fun. Having someone encourage you to build a deeper relationship with God is great. Even better if you can cook. 😄
Be involved in community that has a high value of accountability! Whether it's guys your own age, intergenerational, a mentor, or all of the above. I have met many guys whose primary source of community is their family (and especially their mom), and while it is definitely good to be close to your family, family members often don't hold you to the same standards that men in your church do.
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It's interesting that not one of these ladies said, "talk Jesus to me" The "advice" is largely the things teen vogue has been telling women in the world since the 80s
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@Nicole as I said, I see a lot of teen vogue's advice to carnal and emotional women. A lot of this is echoed in churchianity. What I had not seen was anyone showing Mary's approach of sitting at Christ's feet wanting to be fed with the Word. A hunger for the pure Word is attractive in a woman. Hunger for fleeting creature comfort is not.
@Mike Agreed that it's so important to crave the Word and for the Word to be central in a Godly relationship. And am curious if you would consider compassion, treating women with honour and respect and relational connection as fleeting creature comforts or as consistent with the teachings of Scripture? Much of what I see written by the women on here seem to be providing advice for men along those lines.
@Mike in response to your original comment: be that as it may, the fact that the ladies are saying these things may be more convicting of the men on here who are not even doing this “standard” advice let alone the godly advice you refer to.
@Lachlan convicting that the women have behaved like the world? Why would the men be convicted by the carnality of the women?
@Mike no, I mean the fact that the sisters are having to give the standard advise here suggests that the men they’re coming across need to be told even the standard advise, let alone the godly advise. So it’s convicting of the men, they need to step up. Furthermore, I’m not sure why you believe the non-spiritual “standard” advise is worldly and carnal… it’s still valid advice in addition to the godly advice.
@Mike Yes, Mike, if you think that communication, planning, respect, and asking questions to get to know someone — components necessary for any humans to be in relationship (family, friend, romantic) with one another — are fleshly things, I wonder how you maintain any relationships in your life. Maybe you preach to them and pray for them, but remember, you want a woman who sits at Jesus’ feet, not yours.
Don't expect to find a godly woman if you are not living a godly life yourself. Also, don't expect God to bless your relationship if you are engaging in worldly behaviors, such as sex before marriage.
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@Lauren Whilst I like this advice, and I am trying to work on myself as best as I can, surely no one is perfect? Like I could spend my whole life single trying to work on myself… I guess the question is, when do you know?
Be intentional, make an effort, be invested as she is with you, respect her at all costs and show that she is a priority. And defend her honour always, even, especially even, when she's not in the room. Always pursue the 'Laying down your life' for one another kind of love with God at the centre.
Be clear with your intentions right from the beginning
Over communicate. There is never too much!
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@Jamie 😀
If you really don't see yourself in the future with her. Let her go right away. Pls, don't stay to do her a favor because she likes you .
Don't say you're building a community of Christian minded friends on a dating app
@MaB wow, is this a common thing? Dating apps are for relationships, right? I mean if you want Christian friends you’ll find them in your local church(es)!
Just because we can do it all, doesn't mean we want to. Also, women get asked a million questions a day (or it feels like it), "what's for dinner" may just be the straw that breaks the camel's back. It's not you, we're just overwhelmed.
