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@Emily its not bad if any of the two initiate the conversation, but for me i rather do it. #myopinion

@Emily I will usually make the first move/message, but not cause I’m opposed to getting a message from her first. Heck, in many cases, I’d be happy to get any message at all.

Emily thanks for asking, I if a lady mutually likes me back, I appreciate her starting the conversation If I find that a lady has liked me first and I like her back, then I am always the first to get the conversation going

Both - obviously physical attraction is important, but if someone’s values or world views are not compatable with mine, that is equally (if not more) important. Additionally, if they have some common interests, hobbies etc. that’s a major plus!

For me i do read and think about it

@Essie I read everything first. Then look at the images. I don’t understand the people who click like on everyone or the people that say we should. I’m very careful not to like anyone (or swipe, whatever) or I’m not genuinely interested in them — and that starts with the profile, not the pics.

I am another guy who read all the text of bio and answers and often twice before swiping .... Cropped selfies an filtered pics tend to feel disinguinuine

Probably a fumbled attempt at flirting

If you mean sex, yes. I don't speak for all men though. If you mean other forms of intimacy, that's a trickier question. The bible is pretty clear on avoiding lust. I've always encouraged younger Christians to think of the line as "affection not arousal", but that's not an easy line to hold to either and what is affection to one partner may cause arousal in another, and so communication and honesty is required.

@Jean that’s the plan. Bearing in mind, being divorced, I do have a sexual history. But waiting now for the next spouse.

Depends on the guy. It's also hard to say, because it depends on what you are being open about. If a lady starts telling me their bathroom habits and routine on the first date, that's probably being too open. 😆

@Shez Pretty open 🤷‍♂️Personally, I don’t mind fairly direct questions or deep conversations (after a couple of lighter ones). I guess, making sure they are asked or said in a kind and conversational manner, rather than a series of interview questions is helpful! 😅

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I reckon a lot are avoidant. Attached is a really good book to read about attachment styles x

You will be friend zoned if you are seen as "not dateable material", i.e. not attractive. Whilst it is true that men are very visual, what women don't know if that men have wildly different tastes and can also change the way a guy looks at you. A guy will have generally already categorized a woman in their head. If he already thinks of you as "totally unattractive", you are probably out of luck. If he's just categorized you as "not his type", you need to do something different.

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@Subashni I think as people have said really… To be honest the main one is that it can be very difficult to determine if a woman is interested (especially in group settings like at church). With modern society and culture, people are afraid of coming off as too forward or ‘creepy’ for lack of a better word. If there is someone you’re interested in, try and drop a few reasonably obvious hints so at least they have an inkling, and see if you get some back.

@Subashni most of the time it's due to us men not being able to pick up on social hints. Please be direct with us. If you're interested, and are friend zoned, then he likely doesn't know you're really interested, or thinks he's been friend zoned. Conversation is necessary.

@Subashni ha! Didn’t know that was an option. If I’m doing that, it’s cause I believe that’s what she wants too.

Varies from guy to guy. Generally, a fair bit, especially on a dating app when you have little to go on. It's even worse when they write so little about themselves. But what guys find attractive appearance-wise varies wildly too. IRL confidence is a huge factor. On an app, not so much.

How about saying hi, then picking something you have in common and ask them about it? E.g. Where do you go hiking? What's your gym like? What board games do you like? Or, ask them about their church.

@Caitlin is this a universal thing? I’d never do that

I guess that's the kind way to unmatch ...or a cop out.

Honestly, because they want to think they're ready when they aren't. Most guys act before we think, or overthink before we act and don't act. It's a lack of fatherly training and manly support. Older men are a better choice in this regard, because of life experience. But not always.

@Caitlin they’re idiots. We’re not all like that.

@AJ I don't see this with American men. IDK why but I see lots of American men wear pajama onesies in their pictures they have on their profile 😂

@Alice from a Christian perspective; a fellow Christian companion. From here on, each to his own. I'd say, someone kind, feminine, nurturing, loves Christ and His church, is a hardworker, respectful and submissive.

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@Katy Maybe, they’ve “liked” a few ladies and are getting too many responses. Maybe, after a few conversations with different individuals they’re tired…

They maybe overthink what to say after viewing your profile. It happens to me sometimes as I feel I must come up with something witty and engaging rather than a simple "Hi".

As I guy, I find that I *do* initiate conversations… only to then be ghosted. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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SALT has given me an… interesting glimpse into the demographics of Christendom amongst young adults in this country. Feels like 50% of the folk on here are Pente/Charismatic.

@Alice met my wife on here. Now I work for them! (In that order lol)

@Alice A few dates, lots of ghosting in the middle of seemingly good conversations, lots of no replies after a match

@Alice not great. Matched with one person, started a convo that was going really well, I thought and suddenly stopped. I was able to reinitiate, but from then on, she was distant so I didn’t push it. Otherwise, the Salt app is clunky at times and not always intuitive. Better than a few others. Worse than most?

@Sarah I’m happy with a woman making the first move. I think a guy should lead in a relationship but if a woman likes a guy then why not get things moving 🤷‍♂️

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I actually admire it.

@Sarah my wife, who as you know I met on SALT, messages me first :)

@Sarah Totally fine, refreshing if anything. Something simple like ‘Hey, how’s your week going?’ Is totally fine, and you actually find out quite a bit as you hear what hobbies or church bits they typically get up to and can get a conversation going from there 😊 Bonus points to women who ask questions back to men in response to their questions and answers, rather than just answering a question 😅

@Sarah go for it.