Dating can be a real minefield.  You think you’re connecting with someone one minute, everything seems to be going okay, but then they’ll say something that makes you put on the brakes, and then you can’t wait to quit chatting to them.  But sometimes we don’t always pick up on those red flags in the talking stage that end up spelling trouble later – and oh how we wish we had!

Here’s a (fake) conversation between two people where there’s quite a few potential issues from his side – and what our users on SALT SOCIAL think of these red flags!

Red flag #1: Doesn’t prioritize faith

L: Hey Phil, love the banjo in your profile pic.  How long you been playing?

P: Hey Laura, way too long!  Since I was 10 years old, my dad taught me.

L: Wow, that’s great!  Maybe I’ll hear you play some time 😉 What you up to this week.

P: Oh just working lots.  Got any fun weekend plans?

L: Just chillin.  Mum coming to town on Sunday, might go out for a cheeky meal.

P: Nice.  I’m gonna be going surfing in Lake Tahoe.  I find surfing is a great way to express my faith.

L: Oh that’s interesting!  How so?

P: When the waves crest really high, I can see the top of the church building.  Thought maybe I’d go there someday.

L: Do you go to church anywhere?

P: Not at the moment, no.

L: Any reason why?

P: Just not sure what I believe about that stuff.  But I do love surfing, have you ever been?

L: Yeah I noticed you didn’t have anything about your faith on your profile.  Can’t say I’ve been…

“When he isn’t actively involved in a church, doesn’t mention his faith in his profile, doesn’t prioritize a daily relationship with God is a red flag even in the talking stage…

-Lizzie

P: Would love to show you sometime!

L: Yeah maybe one day.  So why are you on SALT?

P: Just looking for someone to spend my life with.  I’m not getting any younger and would love to settle down with a faithful, traditional woman.

L: I see.  So you want a Christian woman but you’re not sure you’re a Christian yourself?

P: Oh no, I’m definitely a Christian.  Grew up going to church and believe in the basics.

L: The basics?  Like if the Bible is true?

P: Well, not sure about that either.  Maybe just like the teachings of Jesus.

“Someone who doesn’t believe the bible is true or doesn’t aspire to be like Jesus…”

-Vikki

Red Flag #2: Arrogance

L: I see.  That’s good then, I suppose.

P: Yeah. 

L: So…

P: I also love going out to eat and going for walks, but I can’t stand the weather here!

L: Yeah me neither.

P: The rain sucks, you know?

L: Yeah.

“Someone who constantly talks about themselves and whines all the time…”

-Parry

P: I’m a pretty good surfer, too.  I made the Amateur Surf Tour three years in a row.

L: Wow.

P: Yeah. Most girls get intimidated when they talk to me because of that.

L: Do they?

“Mine would be pride. I’m not looking for someone that’s perfect, I have a lot of grace for a person’s negative quirks, bad choices, and red flags in the talking stage, but someone who thinks there’s nothing wrong with them and who rarely turns to Christ if at all, that’s someone I don’t want to spend my life with.”

-Travis

L: Well, Phil, it was nice talking to you.  I don’t think we’re a match, though, so I bid you farewell.

P: Lol

L: Why is that funny?

P: Sounds like you can’t handle me either.

L: Guess not.

SALT Social

Conversations like these can really help us feel connected in an increasingly solitary world.  Come connect with a vibrant community of single Christians on Social – a community feed built right into the SALT app!  

Social is the go-to space for users to connect on a fun, engaging platform that’s about sharing life together.  Ask for relationship advice, share a worship song, or post a photo of your favourite coffee spot.  And who knows, you might meet someone amazing along the way!

Join in the conversation today on Social! You’ll need to download the SALT app to not miss out.

Want to hear what our community said about whether guys should make the first move? Read it here.

Or would you like some first date tips and tricks? Read them here