Should Christians get a prenup? It’s one of those questions that divides opinion even within the church — and it’s more complicated than a simple yes or no. To help explore both sides, SALT’s YouTube channel recently sat down with Tim, a Christian family lawyer (or, as the host put it, a “Christian divorce lawyer”) who has seen the reality of what happens when marriages break down. His perspective is worth hearing — because it challenges assumptions from both directions.
The Argument Against: Trust Over Contingency
One perspective on prenups comes from a place of faith. In the video, Tim recalls a friend who was considering a prenup before her wedding. She decided against it, explaining that if she had one, she would be expecting the prenup to protect her instead of God.
It’s a compelling position. If marriage is a lifelong covenant designed to reflect God’s commitment to us, why build in a contingency before it even begins? The concern is that a prenup quietly introduces a “just in case” mindset — and for some Christians, that posture feels incompatible with the trust and surrender that covenant requires.
Scripture doesn’t use the word “casual” about marriage. It presents it as binding, whole, and serious. And there’s something to the idea that what we plan for shapes what we build. If a couple enters marriage already mapping exit routes, does that affect how fully they commit?
The Argument For: Practical Wisdom in a Fallen World
Tim sees things from a different angle — and he’s seen a lot. In the SALT video he points to a reality that Christians can be tempted to avoid: divorce rates inside the church are not far off those outside it. And when marriages break down, emotions run high in ways that cloud rational thinking completely.
That’s one reason Tim argues that having a prenup conversation early — while the sun is shining, as he puts it — can actually be a healthy thing. It’s not coming from a place of the relationship breaking down and the emotions being really high. It’s a moment of openness about finances at the very start of a marriage.
He uses an analogy worth sitting with: you get travel insurance in case your bags get lost. You get life insurance in case you walk outside and get hit by a bus. We don’t feel like we’re not trusting God when we take out travel insurance. A prenup, on that reading, is simply a financial safeguard — made calmly, with mutual transparency, before everything gets complicated.
Tim also notes that many prenup conversations aren’t even between the couple themselves. Often it’s the parents — particularly where a family business is involved. If mum and dad have spent their whole career building a company from nothing, and their child is set to inherit a share of it, they may have entirely understandable reasons to want that protected. That’s not necessarily a lack of faith. It may just be responsible stewardship.
Where the Tension Lies
Tim is honest that he sees both sides. He acknowledges that some people would argue a prenup is planning for something to go wrong — creating a side road off a path that was supposed to be direct. He frames this tension well in the video as the pre-Fall ideal versus the post-Fall reality. In a perfect world, perhaps no couple would need one. But we don’t live in Eden.
Not everyone needs a prenup. Not everyone will want one. But Tim’s view — shaped by years of sitting across the table from couples in crisis — is that the conversation is probably worth having. Particularly where there’s significant financial disparity, family assets, or an inheritance in the picture.
That conversation doesn’t have to be about expecting failure. It can be one of the harder but healthier early discussions a couple has — about finances, about what each person is bringing to the marriage, and about what they’d want for each other even in a worst case they’re both hoping never comes.
Five Things Worth Thinking Through
Whether you land for or against, here are five questions worth bringing to that conversation.
1. What Is the Posture of Your Heart?
The friend Tim mentioned in the video made her decision based on what the prenup would mean spiritually, not just practically. That’s a legitimate question to ask. Are you considering one out of wisdom and mutual care — or out of fear, distrust, or pressure from someone else? The motivation matters as much as the decision itself.
For some couples, deciding together not to have one is a meaningful act of faith. For others, having one is a responsible, loving act that protects both parties. Neither answer is universal.
2. Are There Specific Circumstances That Make It Relevant?
Tim is clear that not everyone needs one. But certain circumstances shift the conversation: a family business, a significant inheritance, children from a previous relationship, or a major financial imbalance. These aren’t reasons to distrust your partner. They’re reasons to have an honest, transparent conversation about money before the wedding — which most financial advisors and marriage counsellors would recommend regardless of where you land on prenups.
3. Have You Sought Wise Counsel?
A Christian family lawyer like Tim, a financial advisor, and a pastor or marriage counsellor offer three different lenses on the same question. A prenup is a legal document with real implications. Before deciding either way, it’s worth understanding what one actually does — and doesn’t — protect.
4. Are You Having the Harder Conversations Early?
One of Tim’s most practical observations in the video is that marriage takes a lot of work, and it’s not a magic wand solution. The prenup conversation, for all its discomfort, is one of those friction points worth addressing before the wedding. Couples who are able to talk openly about money, debt, assets, and expectations before they marry tend to be better equipped for what comes after.
As Tim puts it — you’re making the agreement when the sun’s shining. That’s the right time to have hard conversations.
5. What Does Unity Look Like for You as a Couple?
At its best, a prenup conversation isn’t about self-protection. It’s about two people being fully honest with each other about everything they’re bringing into a shared life — and deciding together how they want to approach it. That kind of openness, even around uncomfortable subjects, can be a form of intimacy. Avoiding the conversation entirely because it feels unspiritual doesn’t necessarily make a marriage stronger.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should Christians get a prenup? There’s no single answer. Some Christians feel strongly that a prenup introduces a “just in case” mindset that is incompatible with a covenant view of marriage. Others, including family lawyers with experience of Christian marriages breaking down, argue that a prenup conversation can be a healthy, transparent exercise — particularly where family assets or significant financial disparity are involved. The right answer depends on your specific circumstances, your motivations, and where you both land after seeking wise counsel.
Does getting a prenup mean you don’t trust God? Not necessarily. Tim, a Christian divorce lawyer featured on the SALT YouTube channel, raises the insurance analogy: we don’t feel like we’re not trusting God when we take out travel or life insurance. A prenup made calmly, transparently, and mutually at the start of a relationship can be viewed as practical stewardship rather than a lack of faith. That said, the spiritual question is worth sitting with honestly: what is the intention behind it?
What should Christian couples discuss about finances before marriage? Most counsellors agree that open financial conversations before marriage are healthy and important — debt, assets, spending habits, savings goals, and family obligations. Whether that leads to a prenup or not, having that transparency early builds trust rather than undermining it. It’s one of the harder conversations, but Tim’s view is that it’s worth having while the sun is still shining.
Exploring faith, relationships, and the big questions of Christian dating? Watch the full conversation on the SALT YouTube channel — and if you’re ready to meet other single Christians who are serious about their faith, download the SALT app today.
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