Meeting Christians local to you might not seem easy. There’s no-one your age at church and it’s not cool to be Christian anymore. So how do you meet like-minded Christians for friendship and dating potential?
I’m not sure if you watched The Muppets growing up, but in the 1981 movie The Great Muppet Caper, one of the Muppets, Animal, is chasing after women, screaming, “Woman! Woman!” I’m sure you can imagine—those women were not flattered. In fact, they looked freaked out, especially when they hid behind a column, and Animal followed, saying, “Peek-a-boo.” I’m sure you don’t want someone chasing you down the street shouting, “Marry me now!” While most women want to be pursued, they can smell desperation from a mile away. Ladies, men can sense it on you too.
The Big Questions
“But where are all the good Christian guys?” I see this question circulating among Christian single women who are weary of the dating pool. They’ve gone out with a guy who claimed to be a believer, only for him to ghost her afterward. Or maybe one man propositioned her for sex when she’s decided to wait until marriage. It’s confusing. She wonders, “I thought he was a real Christian. Why would he even ask me for sex?” I get it—it’s discouraging. But what these women don’t realize is that there are amazing Christian men who are asking the same question: Where are all the good Christian women?
These men may not be as vocal as the women, but they are searching for their “good thing,” just as the Bible describes. They want a woman they can pursue and treat with honor. He’s been waiting for her just as long as she’s been waiting for him. He’s been hurt by lukewarm women who wanted him to compromise too. He prays at night, saying, “Lord, I pray I find my wife soon.”
TL;DR: The Summary
If you’re wondering, “Where are all these amazing Christian singles, then? I can’t seem to find them,” don’t worry—they’re not on some deserted island only accessible to a select few. There’s a misconception that there’s a secret formula to meeting your spouse: some people find it, get married, while others remain single for much longer.
Can I tell you the “secret” to meeting your spouse? There’s no secret—so get that thought out of your mind. While the outcome is ultimately up to God, and only He knows the future, there are proactive steps you can take to meet new people. It may feel hopeless at times, but I promise you, it’s not. Here are five ways you can meet local Christian singles near you.
- Join Church Events and Bible Studies
- Volunteer for Community Service
- Attend Christian Conferences and Retreats
- Get Involved in Local Christian Meet-Ups
- Network Through Christian Social Media Groups
Too Good to Be True?
You may be reading this and thinking, “I’ve already tried all of these things, and nothing has worked.” I understand how you feel. But I want to challenge you with the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5:1-14. If you’re unfamiliar with it, Naaman was a commander in the army of Syria. Although the Bible describes him as a man of courage, he was also a leper. And, as you may know, leprosy was a devastating condition at that time.
Fast forward to Naaman meeting the prophet Elisha, who instructs him to dip in the Jordan River seven times to be healed. Naaman expected some grand, dramatic command, but instead, he was told to do something simple and humbling. At first, Naaman was angry, but his servants persuaded him to obey.
Here’s my point: Naaman had to dip into the river seven times. Imagine if he had quit after the third, fifth, or sixth dip. If he had, he wouldn’t have been healed. What if you’ve already tried all the things to meet local Christian singles? Maybe all it takes is one more attempt. One more chance to believe God.
What if it only took one more date to meet your spouse? Would you give it one more try? Think about it and stay with me here.
Join Church Events and Bible Studies
I know what you might be thinking: “I’ve tried that. There’s no one at my church.” I understand. My last church had very few people my age—most were either over forty or in the youth department. I was twenty-five at the time, but that’s where God had me serving.
Here’s the thing: You can be a faithful member of your local church, but there’s no harm in visiting other churches or attending their events. You’re not “cheating” on your church just because you participated in a meet-and-greet at another one. Are they hosting a movie night? A fall festival? You can attend your Bible study and still make plans to visit another church’s ministry event.
Is there a movie night happening at another church? Why not take a few friends along to watch the film? What about potluck dinners or hiking? When was the last time you enjoyed a game night or attended a conference to build your faith? The key is that you don’t have to feel restricted to just your local church. God called you there to serve, but you can explore other places as well.
Some Christian singles join other churches because they feel there are few people their age at their own church. Let’s be clear, though: we don’t attend church to find a spouse. We go to be fed by God’s Word and to grow in our walk with Christ. If you happen to meet your spouse—perhaps someone on the praise team or serving in the children’s ministry—great! But remember, take advantage of opportunities to meet others while keeping in mind that church is not a place to “get hooked up.”
Volunteer for Community Service
“Make someone happy, and you’ll find that you’ll be happy too.” While it’s not always intentional, we can sometimes become self-centered. When we focus solely on what we don’t have, we miss the many ways in which God has already blessed us. During my twelve years of singleness, there were moments of loneliness and the pain of wondering, “Lord, when will it happen for me?” But I found joy in serving others. Whether it was in my church’s ministries or volunteering elsewhere, shifting the focus away from being single for a while helped me discover joy in other areas of my life.
I volunteered with the Child Evangelism Fellowship Ministry for about five years through my local church. It was an after-school program called Good News Club, where we had one hour to share the Gospel with elementary school children. I was in charge of the songs, leading first through fifth graders as they sang about the Good News of Jesus Christ—with hand motions and all. They had a blast following along as we sang about the Trinity and even the Lord’s Prayer.
Was it a success?
Did I meet my future husband at school? No. Did I form a connection with one of the faculty members? No.
What I didn’t realize at the time, however, is that those years had a greater impact on my life than I ever expected. Working with young children who were eager to learn about Jesus was such a privilege. Some had grown up in church and brought their own Bibles, while for others, the Good News Club was their only church. One year, I had the honor of leading sixty-seven children in a salvation prayer. It was a profound experience, knowing that I was helping to shape the next generation to follow the Lord.
During this season, as I reflect on being single, I rarely felt lonely. I knew I was fulfilling what God was calling me to do at the time. Could it be that your singleness feels burdensome because you’re not busy with your calling? I’m not saying you won’t have low moments, but there’s a difference between having a low moment and being in a constant state of depression because you’re not married. You can read more about this here.
Ask God, if you haven’t already, to lead you to serve in new ways. It could be with children, on the worship team at your church, or maybe at a homeless shelter downtown. Why? When we serve others, it shifts the focus from our own lack to the needs of those around us. We’re called to love our neighbors and extend God’s love to them. Don’t waste an opportunity to bless someone else. Serving may be exactly what you need, and who knows, you might even meet your spouse along the way. While that shouldn’t be your primary motivation, it’s a possibility.
Attend Christian Conferences and Retreats
If you’re building a business, you know there’s a chance you’ll need to invest. Why? Because to grow and reach the next level, it’s valuable to learn from those who have the wisdom and experience in what you’re trying to achieve. While I didn’t attend any in-person Christian singles conferences, I did attend online events. The first two were hosted by Heart of Dating at the height of the pandemic. The speakers were impactful, and there were Zoom sessions where I could connect with fellow attendees. From there, I joined their Facebook community, where I met my husband about a year later.
Had I not attended that conference, I wouldn’t have joined the group. I also joined an online prayer challenge for Christian singles. We met every morning at 6 am, Monday through Friday. While I didn’t meet my husband, my prayer life grew significantly. I became bolder in my prayers, asking God not only for what I wanted but also for His will to be done.
Even if you can’t attend in person, research what events are happening in your area. If you don’t want to go alone, invite a friend or two to join you. Be open and ready to receive from God during the retreat. Ask Him to refresh you and strengthen your heart in this season. If you’re looking for a place to start, try The Christian Singles Hub, which hosts several retreats a year.
Get Involved in Local Christian Meet-Ups
As I mentioned earlier, what’s happening in your area? You can easily visit the events section on Facebook to find local events based on your location. I’ve seen everything from outdoor concerts and cookouts to meet-and-greets. Simply search for “Christian Meetups” and see what catches your interest—and maybe choose a few events that take you out of your comfort zone. Perhaps you’ve never tried painting, but why not give it a shot?
You may not be a singer, but if there’s a karaoke night, why not join in and have fun with your favorite song? Could it be that some are still single because they’re stuck in their preferences? Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t mean you’re changing who you are. This isn’t about becoming someone you’re not just to get attention or to get someone to like you.
Instead, it’s about trying something new. You can explore different hobbies, and who knows? You might discover a new passion you never knew you had. Can you be open to what God has in store for you? What if you meet your spouse in an unexpected way? Maybe you imagined meeting them at church, feeling an instant spark when they hold your hand during the closing prayer. But what if God has you meet them while volunteering at a dog shelter, surrounded by puppies? Something to think about.
Network Through Christian Social Media Groups
In 2021, when everyone was still on lockdown, I logged onto the Clubhouse app after being invited by a friend. One day, while scrolling through the chat rooms, I saw a talk for Christian singles. I initially planned to just listen, but then I felt a nudge to raise my hand. If you’re an introvert like me, speaking up in a room full of strangers can feel daunting. But I couldn’t shake the Lord’s prompting, so I shared what was on my heart. The people were blessed by my words, and before I knew it, I became a regular. From there, friendships grew, and I began serving with the ministry, encouraging others who were in the same boat as me. Taking the focus off myself and speaking life into others helped me through my lowest moments of singleness.
At the same time, I was in another Christian singles group. On July 2, 2021, I saw a post that spoke directly to my spirit. I tend to lurk in groups, but this post encouraged and challenged me, so I commented. Then, I felt another nudge to reach out to the man who had written it. I didn’t expect a response, but he did. Before long, we were chatting in the DMs, which led to a Zoom call. From there, we exchanged numbers, which led to a long-distance relationship. After a year and four months, we were engaged and married six months later.
Follow His Lead
All of this happened because I followed the Lord’s promptings. I’m not big on social media, but by obeying, I met my husband. What would have happened if I had said, “That’s not me. I don’t do that”? I’m not saying I wouldn’t have met my husband another way, but to be honest, I’m not sure how it would have happened. We have no mutual friends, and our families didn’t know each other. God orchestrated our story, and for us, it came through social media. My point? Don’t put God in a box.
Table, which is basically a completely Christian version of Clubhouse and Social are both live in the SALT app. Both are such amazing opportunities to meet other Christians and talk about what’s important.
Take Inspiration From My Story
I know some of you have been single for a while and feel weary, frustrated, or on the verge of giving up. I’m asking you not to give up. That’s exactly what the enemy wants. He wants to discourage you so much that you give up on God. I challenge you to refuse to quit. Like Naaman, dip one more time. Attend one more event. Go on one more date. Step out of your comfort zone once more. You might be closer to your breakthrough than you think. Your seventh dip could be the moment you rejoice in God’s faithfulness.
Ready to try one more time and meet amazing Christian singles? Download the SALT app today!
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