I have told a guy I had a crush and if he didn't see me that way to tell me so I could get over said crush And I have had to tell a different guy winking at me was flirting and most people would take it that way it's not just another way to say hi just wave or something
As an undiagnosed autistic, I would appreciate if women made the first move. I’m not afraid to ask someone out, but because of how my brain works, I’m less likely to. It can take a long time for me to figure out if I genuinely like someone as physical attraction alone isn’t enough. I need that deeper connection.
Social cues are hard for me to read, so when someone is clear and direct, it takes off a lot of pressure and makes things so much easier as actions where someone thinks they are “dropping the hanky” can be very easily interpreted by an autistic brain as just being friendly.
I also think it’s totally okay for women to take that first step. Waiting on the guy to do everything puts a lot of pressure on him, and honestly, it’s your heart too so why not go for it? I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but I feel like if you’re a woman who’s afraid to make the first move, then maybe you’re not quite ready for a relationship. Real connection takes courage and effort from both sides. I think the best relationships happen when both people are willing to meet halfway.
@Ben L. That's all helpful, thanks for sharing this Ben 🙂
Should women wait to be asked out? Not always. If led by love and peace, a woman can take a graceful step too. Ruth approached Boaz first (Ruth 3:9) — and God honored it! Don’t chase, but don’t hide either. Let love be led by faith, not fear. Be prayerful, be open, and trust God’s timing ⏳❤️
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@nonni That is right !
As women, we should wait patiently for the guy God has for us. God will get the right guy to ask you when the time is right. You can, however, drop subtle hints letting the guy know that you're interested - that way, they won't feel they'll be rejected.
Yes!!
If they are over 30 years old, I think they should be more proactive in the search for their man, talk, invite, consider, and not expect a conquest... sitting as if they were little princesses in their castle.
@yannykgw excuse you brother but it you are the man that is waiting for the woman to take that role, to be proactive cz you aren’t then you ain’t the prince that a princess deserve. Yes we can be proactive but you gotta be a real man and pursue, better think before talk :)
The man is the head and he is the hunter. Even the Bible says, that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Ladies wait to be found. All we must do is avail ourselves.
@Nonni Hi Nonni, what is also interesting is the story of Boaz and Ruth. She showed interest in Boaz… he recognised and acknowledged this and became her provider and protector.
I think that “why” matters a good deal in these situations. If either person pushes off the uncomfortable and vulnerable task of making a first move onto the other person out of a degree of selfishness, that’s not great. However, when both parties are trying to care for and serve each other, I’ve noticed that making the first move tends to arrange itself. It’s not usually pretty, but we all get through it somehow, and what I’ve mostly come to care about is the motivation behind the decision.
The latest video by AGW (Apply God’s Word) answers the question very well. Do watch it. The title is Invite his Pursuit SUBTLY by….
For the first, I rather they make the move! This is not saying women should not, but I will ask some other time but not the first. Biblically I consider men as the head, and will always embrace that. Treating the one as my 👑
Personally speaking, I don't find anything wrong with that. It doesn't bother me one bit. My main thing is, if I were to ask a woman out, don't say yes, just to disappear. If you're not interested, say, "I am not comfortable with that or I'm interested, or just say No." I would rather be declined than to be ghosted, ignored, or avoided. This hits harder than to have a decline. To me, it's easier to move forward from a decline, knowing they were not interested.
@Joe don't get me wrong. I will ask a woman out "if" I think they have interest. But if no interest is shown, I'm not going to.
@Joe Hi there Joe, I agree with your perspective. Thanks for your comments.
I prefer men asking me out
Yes! men are born to lead and men would if they wanted to.
You connect physically to God through gym?...😯
I feel nice if someone asks me out 👍
I was taught in church that “True Love Waits” & I believe that includes being asked out. I’d never make the first move on a guy not because it’s the conservative stereotype but because I know that men are hunters by God’s design. It usually backfires when ladies make that move; a lady will never know if the man truly wanted her. Sad thing, the lady does a 2nd move, 3rd & so on. While it’s tempting for women to do the first move with the desire for control, it takes more faith to wait on Jesus.
Yes to this!
@Shell well said!
@Shell hey ! Do you have a scriptural backing for the “men are hunters by God’s design” ? I would love to read about it 😊
I think online dating changes things. If we could find what we’re looking for without the internet then we wouldn’t be here 😆 so i think it’s great when ladies reach out. in person i prefer be the one to ask.
@Taylor Amen Taylor. God bless you brother/
To answer the question directly Dear women yes it is okay to ask the man out. It is also okay to let them know that you are interested in them. I like your face you have certain qualities that are appealing your morals and ethics are sound Do you want to get something to eat with me I'll let you pay and hold the door.
@Scottie love it 🥰
@Scottie Thanks for sharing your thoughts Scottie. The Lord bless you brother.
Hello Everyone, So it seems most of the guys like the girls to show some interest. This is not a woman asking a guy out on a date but letting him know she is interested… 🙏🙏💕💕 … every person is unique and each situation must be underpinned with prayer… 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
It's nice to have interest shown in me, I appreciate honestly
@Will That’s good Will fellow Aussie. Suggest you join the Salt Tables to get to know people too.
It doesn't matter who does the first asking. As a introvert it is helpful for the woman to break the ice. Even if the asking out first is not direct a clear message that she is willing goes a long way.
I wouldn’t see someone as less of a woman for being the one to ask out, just like how I wouldn’t see myself as less of a man for being receptive to that idea. These stereotypes are not part of our faith, and nowadays it gets difficult to differentiate between someone being flirty or just friendly… so, any help is more than welcome, to be honest.
@Sergio Good on you Sergio and well said. God bless you brother.
As a man we aren't looking for childish or unable women. On the contrary we need women who will have our back when needed. Dating a woman who is as useful as a pet isn't what God promised.
@Florent Hi there Florent, so long as you value a great Christian woman… she will have your back.
@Florent absolutely man and women were created to be in partnership and provide mutual support 🥰👍
I love this answer.
I wouldn't follow a 'rule' that isn't directly found in scripture, especially since dating in the 21st century is so wildly different to the 20th, 19th or 1st! In one of the most godly couples I know, the girl asked the guy, who was completely oblivious. For both men & women, if you're praying, trusting, and seeking The Lord, don't wait! Ask the Lord, then be proactive, step out in faith and ask! Then be secure enough in the love and good plans of the Father to face rejection if it comes.
@Oliver Agree with this Oliver. God bless you brother.
I am extremely traditional and love a man to lead, that means asking me out on a date, opening doors, everything…..
Matt this was on a video chat but i wouldn’t mind if he was with a friend and introduced me to his friend , after all if im getting to know the person and they are part of his life i wouldn’t mind getting to meet him at some point!
Ideally, a woman should pray first and decide if it’s from God’s that you really want to ask this guy out. For me, let the man do his job to have that courage to ask you. The world would say go and do the first move. But God says, daughter, just wait and trust me, ok? A butterfly will definitely come to a beautiful and lovely flower. When did you see a flower coming after a butterfly? 🤷🏻♀️
@Lish Hello Lish, agree in part but it is not only up to the woman to pray. Both men and women should pray 🙏 first before the Lord … a woman expressing interest helps a man decide whether or not to ask her out.
@Evelyn I agree that both should pray first. I just did answer the woman’s side part based on the question 🙂
@Lish Yes and I do understand. However, it seems especially in the Church there is an over emphasis on what the woman’s role and responsibility should be. In my experience it seems there is little quality teaching, mentoring and encouragement given to men. This is not good and puts unnecessary pressure and expectations on good Godly Christian women.
@Evelyn I do understand and I respect you on that part. God works on ways that we could not imagine. Let’s be a witness how God orchestrate things. I am confident to put my dependence on God. By the way, my late husband pursued me because I prayed to God that He will send my God’s best in His perfect time. The decision is ours to obey or not. If I will ask God, if its okay to ask this guy out first? Its a No. Let our men be encouraged and lead. Adam should lead. Not Eve.
@Lish Hi Lish, the bigger issue here is that in my experience many Churches are lacking in helping men to be good Godly leaders and to fully understand their roles as taught in the Bible…..
@Evelyn … Until a Christian man can consistently demonstrate kind and Godly character to me then I will only be led by the Lord Himself. A Christian man must show he is truly worthy of his leadership in a woman’s life. That is not possible at a first date. However, I do believe they should ask the woman and a woman dropping the hankie can help. 🙏💕
Years ago I would definitely say that the woman must wait for the man to ask her out but here’s the question.. why is it that there are so many single Christian women in our churches who have never married? ….
Perhaps it is because many women (Christian included) have not learned the subtle art of showing interest and “dropping the romantic hanky” 🥰. This does not mean she is pursuing a man or asking him out. Rather, she is showing her interest in him pursuing her if he also is interested in her …
We also need to remember 2 x things: 1. Some men can be very shy and fear rejection and 2. Although the man is to take the lead that happens and develops more into the relationship as trust and respect build as a couple gets to know each other. Hope that helps. 🙏
@Evelyn thanks Evelyn, very good advice!
@Evelyn, yes, was going to raise this!
Good on you, Aunty @Evelyn Absolutely love how you worked the word "hankie" in there. 🤣🤣 You're all class.
I don't see anything wrong with a woman showing interest or asking a man out. I agree with some other posts that dating apps aren't traditional. Men can be blind to some things, and we might not see you/your profile.
@Drew I agree Drew that women can show interest.
Seeing how dating apps aren’t exactly traditional, I think it’s fine either way. Say hi to whomever you want, it’s not asking for a date, it’s just showing interest. There’s a possibility that the person you’re saying hi to hasn’t seen your profile yet! I don’t think there’s an ACTUAL right or wrong way, it’s opinions & preferences… It is vital though to be honest & transparent with others &/or if you don’t have any intention of dating them, don’t answer their intro. God bless y’all 🙏🏼✝️🙏🏼
@Greg Spot on Greg but I also think it is courteous for a person who receives the Intro to acknowledge it and say thank you for the message.
@Evelyn Thanks Evelyn!🤠… I’m usually good at that, yet maybe I’m TOO courteous at times bcuz some ladies try to keep the conversation going… & I soooo dislike conflict & hate to upset peeps… I can’t just say “I’m not interested in you” (is that “cold” to say?!?… Yet then what do you say if they keep responding?!?…. God bless & I pray that all have an amazing Easter wknd!!… Just turned Good Friday here an hour ago, so I’m in Jesus mode 🙏🏼✝️🙏🏼
@Greg God bless you too brother. I think it is important for either person to say thank you but perhaps say they don’t think they are suited. Wishing a person well on their search is also a kind message.
I see nothing wrong with a woman saying she's interested, the man might not even realise if she doesn't. Besides, he can say yes or no to that interest. Once you've gotten to know each other a bit, then I agree the man should be pursuing her. But initially, both should be able to show interest to someone else, gender shouldn't matter
@Kelly I agree with you Kelly. It is how this issue is approached that matters.
I agree with Carl’s statement but would add 2 things 1: is that with apps and online things girls should like the profiles that catch their interest because we don’t always cross paths and apps are weird with certain things. 2: it’s great and it’s good that a girls makes an effort to show the guy she likes him cuz guys can be pretty oblivious to things but the guy needs to answer really quickly to so there’s no hurt feelings with a let’s stay friends and see where it goes or a distinctive Y or N
And by friends I mean friends no late night let’s hang out at one’s place because that just puts temptations in arms reach literally
@Daryl your 100 % on point. I really like your beautiful mind and huge heart & old-school kinda loving. Looking forward to hearing more from you really soon
I like when a woman that I am interested in shows interest. But I prefer to be the one that ask the woman out. Every woman isn't my type & every woman don't get my attention.
@Alex Agree Alex.
No as a woman no. It’s a man’s Job to lead. And if the man is not pursuing you or pushing you towards Christ leave him where he is as he is not for you and it will be less heart breaking not to take it further
@Jane Hi there Jane, I think women can show interest but the man needs to pursue in a Godly way. A man must also need to demonstrate that he is worthy of his leadership in a woman’s life by showing he is trustworthy.
I’ve heard of people that have not worked out and then the guy claimed he was not interested in the girl but because she approached him first but he wanted to be polite and dated the girl , she got serious and he didn’t have the heart to break up with her ended up getting married.
@Yvette interesting story !
@Yvette do you think this happens in reverse too?
Absolutely! men should ask women out , I think women could introduce themselves but men usually go after what they like .
I've been asking men out without reservation however I have changed recently to wanting a man to lead.
I don’t see anything bad if a woman gives the man a green light
Sure😅
Whilst I understand the view that men should be the head/lead of a relationship, I think applying that to a person before you even know them isn't helpful. We're all grown adults, let's not play waiting games like we're in high school... if you are interested in someone let them know.
@Lachlan Hi Lachlan, spot on and I agree. Men should take the lead but a woman can still be the first one to show interest. My next post(s) explain more.
Im still waiting for the Salt Matches to Text me 😄
@JD you should probably text them to show interest. Good luck ✨✨✨
@Emmanuelle I dont know, Im kinda oldschool in that way. Like he should make the First move, otherwise hes probably Not that interested.
@JD with a lot of these dating apps we can all like each other and so on but if your not a paid subscriber it’s just a blurry picture and can’t tell who or what or anything and you can’t respond but you your paid or have some free messages you can use them and then they can at least respond then and look at your profile. Good luck with your journey and may God guide your way
@Daryl Alright thanks for clarifying- I’m new here.
@JD wow I didn’t proofread that at all. I find my devices are putting words in and auto correcting worse then ever. It always puts “put” when I want out. But it sounds like you may of got the gist of it 😅
@JD be carful I seen a few profiles on here that lead me to completely over look
@JD I agree with Emmanuelle JD.
Sure a woman could ask or give clues..
@Ari Interesting, I did give clues but no engagement from him ! Probably he wasn’t interested. 😁
Messaging on salt first is not asking out..,it’s just saying hi. Ruth said hi first.
@Thankful I agree with this too.
@Thankful she did more than say hi haha
Women should show a man they are interested in hanging out. A woman can ask a man out, but it's better for the woman to show the man she's interested in spending time with him and then the guy should ask her out
@Carl did it. He never ask out so probably not interested 😁 and that’s absolutely fine
My now-wife messaged me first on SALT. JUST saying ladies.
@Matt are you a leader or why are you on salt now?
@Thankful it says on his profile that he works for salt and is married.
@Thankful I work for salt and part of my job is to post on social ;)
@Matt Hi there Matt, your wife is a smart woman … you look 👀 great together. God bless. 🙏💕
I prefer the clasic way.
