{"id":370,"date":"2025-03-10T14:23:39","date_gmt":"2025-03-10T14:23:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=370"},"modified":"2025-03-13T10:50:11","modified_gmt":"2025-03-13T10:50:11","slug":"relationship-lessons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/relationship-lessons\/","title":{"rendered":"Relationship Lessons For Every Month"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Relationship lessons for every month from a married man who met his wife on SALT Christian Dating App. Here’s his 12 tips for a good marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s no question that the person I value the most in this world is my wife.\u00a0 I never thought I\u2019d feel that way when I was single, but now that I\u2019ve found my person and have such incredible love for her, I want to do everything in my power to make our relationship thriving and vibrant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So here are 12 relationship lessons for the 12 months of the year for you to enjoy and hopefully glean from.\u00a0 These are from my incredible depth of knowledge and wisdom (lol) I\u2019ve developed by simply making it through three and half years of marriage:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ignore the stereotypes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    We learn so much about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman in a relationship that we end up developing values that may or may not work for your particular scenario.\u00a0 We assume women are more emotional, for example, or that men should do all the DIY.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be the first to say that although sometimes it\u2019s true (my wife is the \u201cplanner\u201d and loves cooking so she\u2019s the primary chef of the house, for example), it\u2019s not always the case (I am by far the more emotional one and hate doing DIY!).\u00a0 And for a relationship to work, you need to play to your strengths rather than just doing things the way you think you \u201cshould\u201d.\u00a0 Ignore the stereotypes, and don\u2019t feel bad if you do things a little differently \u2013 your marriage will thank you in the long run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Communicate your needs<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
      <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      People like to think that when you spend the time to get to know someone, they will just know what you need and fulfil it without even asking.  Needless to say, this is pure fantasy.  They may know who you<\/em> <\/em>are<\/em> in a general sense, but they won\u2019t always know what you need<\/em> in any given moment, and simply assuming they will is naivety at best and crushing disappointment at worst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Save yourself the headache.  Communicate what you need, how you\u2019re feeling, and what you care about.  They\u2019ll appreciate it, even if it\u2019s difficult at first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Don\u2019t wait for instructions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
        <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        On the flipside, if you are simply waiting for the other person to communicate what you need, you may miss out on being proactive and helpful.  They won\u2019t always tell you \u201cI need help with the laundry\u201d \u2013 if you see the laundry needs doing and you have the time to do it, just get it done.  Don\u2019t assume \u201cit\u2019s not your job\u201d, don\u2019t assume your partner will just do it later \u2013 pull your weight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        And this doesn\u2019t just apply to chores \u2013 be intentional and ask them what they need from you, whether it\u2019s emotional, physical, whatever.  Be the hero.  Care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Taking initiative is also important in the early stages. If you’re on SALT<\/a>, make the first move! Read this blog about Dating With Purpose<\/a> and go for it! And if you haven’t tried our Christian dating app, you should download SALT<\/a> now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Give one another the benefit of the doubt<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
          <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Disagreements are bound to arise in any relationship.  In the early stages of dating, these things can feel super trivial, but as time goes on, these differences inevitably stick out more.  You may find yourself questioning if your differences are reconcilable and if you can move forward regardless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          I can\u2019t claim to be the expert here, but in my experience the first step is to give the other person some grace and put yourself in their shoes.  Even if you can\u2019t empathize or visualize why they feel the way they do, you need to trust them and know that they aren\u2019t just trying to hurt you or be selfish.  Give them the benefit of the doubt and approach the disagreement with respect.  Once you have both established this, it\u2019s way easier to get to the bottom of the discussion and figure out where you can find mutual ground and move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \"dating<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

          Pick your battles, but fight the ones you pick<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
            <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            This one might be one of my more controversial views, but stick with me here.  People look at fighting in a marriage and think it\u2019s dysfunctional.  Disagreement is inevitable in any relationship, and both parties are going to want what they want, regardless of what action actually takes place.  \u201cGood fighting\u201d, I\u2019ll call it, is knowing how to listen, but also how to communicate your side with conviction and honesty.  Sometimes you can\u2019t really get to the bottom of the issue and figure out the best way forward if both parties don\u2019t stand their ground and fight.  This doesn\u2019t mean screaming and shouting (not on purpose, anyway!), but it does mean not backing down or cowering to pressure just because you want to make peace.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

            But be aware that when you fight in a relationship, it does create tension and if not done well, it can lead to resentment.  So pick your battles.  Let the little things slide, but don\u2019t let little annoyances build up into something bigger.  Choose to see the best in your partner and don\u2019t assume they have it out for you (because they probably don\u2019t!). It\u2019s good to have strong opinions that you feel are justified, but realize that your partner probably does too.  Find mutual ground, compromise, but don\u2019t give in until you are sure your partner truly understands your side.  Fight well and move forward stronger together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Truly listen<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
              <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

              Listening isn\u2019t just being able to summarize what someone is saying.  It\u2019s understanding, it\u2019s contemplating, it\u2019s making them feel validated, and it\u2019s responding in love.  It\u2019s truly caring about what they\u2019re saying and being willing to change what you think.  But it\u2019s also hearing them in the small things: when they ask you to do something, when they want something, etc.  It doesn\u2019t mean always agreeing, but it does mean making the time to understand why the feel that way \u2013 whether there\u2019s a disagreement or not.  Listening and understanding will get you 90% of the way there, even if nothing ends up changing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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