Here are my top 5 relationship tips for Christian singles. I’ll be taking you through my journey from meeting my husband to marrying him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do we take practical, biblical steps from dating to marriage? What does it look like to navigate the dating pool with intention and faith? This isn\u2019t about following a perfect formula. It\u2019s about being yourself, taking your time, and inviting God into every part of your dating life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are five tips to get you started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t emphasize enough how important it is not to look for a formula when it comes to dating. It\u2019s disheartening to see so much content titled \u201cFive Ways to Make Them Fall in Love with You,\u201d \u201cFive Ways to Get His Attention,\u201d or \u201cTen Signs He\u2019s Into You.\u201d While not all creators are solely trying to profit off people\u2019s desire for love, many do\u2014and unfortunately, some people take this content and try to use it as a roadmap to find a spouse. There\u2019s nothing wrong with seeking biblical wisdom, but not all content is rooted in Scripture. That\u2019s why it\u2019s essential to have a trusted inner circle grounded in God\u2019s Word rather than relying on every YouTube video or podcast you come across. Be discerning about what relationship tips you allow into your ears and your heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We live in a culture where many Christian singles are so focused on marriage that they forget to enjoy the dating process. On the other extreme, some treat dating casually, with no clear future in mind for the person they\u2019re seeing. It\u2019s important not to go from zero to one thousand too quickly. This means you don\u2019t have to know on the first date if the person across from you is your future spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, God can make things clear early on\u2014but more often than not, it takes time. First, remember: you don\u2019t truly know this person yet, so don\u2019t expect to figure everything out within the first few weeks or even months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s a lot of relationship advice floating around\u2014podcasts, YouTube videos, and social media posts\u2014on how to tell if someone is \u201cthe one\u201d right away. This can mislead Christian singles into thinking that if they don\u2019t see these exact signs, they must be dating wrong. But I\u2019m here to tell you: there\u2019s no foolproof method for finding your spouse. Every relationship is going to look different because we are all unique. God has His own story for you, and it\u2019s best to follow His lead. Don\u2019t pressure yourself to know everything right away. Too many dating opportunities are missed simply because people expect certainty too soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not every spark is from the Spirit. Before you entertain their DMs, consult the One who knows their heart better than you ever will. Prayer isn\u2019t a last resort\u2014it\u2019s your first line of clarity. Ask God, \u201cIs this connection from You, or is it a distraction?\u201d His peace\u2014or the lack of it\u2014will give you the answer. When you seek Him first, you won\u2019t be swayed by charm without character. Attraction isn\u2019t enough if there\u2019s no alignment. Let prayer filter what flattery can\u2019t. This is how you pursue with wisdom, not wishful thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This doesn\u2019t mean you need to over-spiritualize the entire dating process. I once heard a story about a woman who prayed, \u201cI\u2019ll know he\u2019s my husband if he\u2019s wearing a dark green shirt.\u201d The first man she saw wearing one was already married. That\u2019s not discernment\u2014that\u2019s guesswork. A more grounded approach is to simply ask the Lord for wisdom while dating. Ask Him to help you be discerning and to open your eyes to any red flags that may come up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being discerning doesn\u2019t mean nitpicking everything they do or watching for every slip-up. Many Christian singles think they\u2019re being cautious, but what\u2019s really happening is they\u2019re acting suspicious. Often, this stems from unresolved trauma or pain from a past relationship. That\u2019s why it\u2019s so important to heal before entering the dating world again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes the question isn\u2019t \u201cGod, should I pursue?\u201d but rather, \u201cLord, search my heart\u2014am I truly ready to date<\/a>?\u201d If you\u2019re not ready, you could become a danger not only to the other person but also to yourself. Pray over your own heart first\u2014before asking God to bring someone into your life to share that heart with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I once saw a video clip of a woman going through a divorce. When the judge asked why she married her husband despite knowing the relationship wasn\u2019t healthy, her honest, vulnerable response was, \u201cI thought I could fix him. I was so desperate to be in a relationship that I looked past all the red flags.\u201d She admitted her family had reservations about him. Though they never directly voiced their concerns, she could sense their discomfort. Despite an inner hesitation, she married him anyway. Now, they share two children\u2014and the regret on her face in that video was unmistakable. I imagine she felt foolish too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some of the comments on the video were harsh, asking, \u201cHow could she be so stupid?\u201d But it\u2019s easy to judge from the outside. How many of us have made relationship mistakes simply because we didn\u2019t want to be alone? There’s often pressure to have it all by a certain age, and if we don\u2019t, we feel like failures. Let me remind you: your value does not come from your relationship status.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When considering a potential spouse, focus on fruit, not just potential. Yes, we\u2019re all growing, and no one is perfect. But there\u2019s a difference between someone maturing spiritually and someone showing consistent toxic behavior. Mistakes can be part of growth, but repeated harmful patterns shouldn\u2019t be tolerated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If someone shows genuine remorse, is taking responsibility, and is actively seeking God\u2019s help to change, that\u2019s worth observing\u2014but it doesn\u2019t mean you need to rush into marriage or even a relationship. Give it time. Watch for consistent fruit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I remember when my husband shared some painful truths about his past before coming to Christ. In his case, I saw true repentance and a genuine desire to walk with God. His actions backed up his words. That\u2019s very different from someone who apologizes, only to return to the same behavior. If you notice a cycle of apologies followed by repeated mistakes, it\u2019s time to reconsider. We all grow at different rates, but real change requires effort\u2014and someone who truly wants to change will show it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That doesn\u2019t mean you need a proposal within the first three weeks of dating. I once saw a comedic video that showed a Christian man and woman meeting for the first time. They smiled and shook hands, and then the man immediately dropped to one knee with a ring in hand to propose. She jumped up and down with excitement, took the ring, and they hugged\u2014now engaged. Funny, yes. Realistic? Not at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Christian singles need to find the balance between dating with intention and holding things with an open hand. Yes, date with the finish line in mind\u2014because you shouldn\u2019t be dating endlessly\u2014but also stay open to the unique pace God sets for your relationship. Some Christian relationship tips recommend dating for at least a year or two. Others say if there\u2019s real progress, it can be safe to get engaged within the first six months. Everyone\u2019s timeline is different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My husband and I dated for a year and four months before getting engaged. I have a friend who knew within six months she would marry her now-husband\u2014and they tied the knot just two months after we did. If you\u2019re trying to follow a formula, let this be your reminder: it\u2019s best to follow the timeline God lays out for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not always easy, but learning to balance dating with purpose and collecting data along the way is essential. As you get to know the person, ask yourself whether you’re aligned. Too many Christian singles focus on what they want, but fail to ask: \u201cAm I the kind of person my future spouse is praying for?\u201d Marriage isn\u2019t just about having your needs met\u2014it\u2019s about serving someone else, too. If you think marriage is all about getting what you want, you\u2019re setting yourself up for disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Purity isn\u2019t just about sex\u2014it\u2019s about stewardship. How are you honoring God with your time, your touch, and your texts? Physical boundaries aren\u2019t legalism\u2014they\u2019re wisdom. Don\u2019t let your hormones write checks your future self can\u2019t cash. Late-night hangouts, lack of accountability, and \u201cjust chilling\u201d can quickly lead to compromise. Instead of asking, \u201cHow far is too far?\u201d ask, \u201cHow holy can we stay?\u201d Guard your body like it belongs to God\u2014because it does. This protects your heart and honors your future marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, you do run the risk of losing someone when you make your boundaries clear. Many Christian singles hesitate to speak up because they\u2019re afraid of having to start over. If the other person doesn\u2019t agree with those boundaries, they fear the loss\u2014especially when it feels like marriage was just around the corner. But is it really worth compromising in order to keep someone? Let me say this again: the right person will not only respect your boundaries, but they\u2019ll have their own. There will be such alignment between you that honoring those boundaries won\u2019t even be up for debate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you lose the other person, then you lose them. God will not send someone into your life who tempts you to sin against Him. Sadly, many Christian singles rationalize red flags and ignore relationship tips by saying, \u201cIt\u2019s not that bad.\u201d That may be true, but if uneasiness has been a constant since meeting this person, don\u2019t ignore it. God can speak in many ways\u2014including through your physical and emotional responses. Pay attention to that. It may be His way of warning you that this relationship is not His will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trust that God knows who and what is best for you. Many Christian singles cling to relationships out of fear that this is their last chance. They worry it will take years to meet the right person\u2014so they settle. But think about that: \u201cI\u2019ll just take what I can get.\u201d That\u2019s not the mindset of someone who believes in a good God. Scripture clearly says His plans for us are good, to give us hope and a future. If we believe that, why do we act like we need to settle? Keep your boundaries, knowing God sees your obedience. And if someone walks away because of them, trust that they were never meant to stay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This isn\u2019t easy\u2014especially when many Christian singles fear growing older and being alone. Some feel like life is over if they\u2019re not married by 30. Others feel the same at 40, 50, or beyond. But your life isn\u2019t over because you\u2019re not married by a certain age. I don\u2019t know why some people marry young while others marry later in life. What I do know is this: if marriage is part of God\u2019s sovereign will for your life, it will happen\u2014and the desire for it will remain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some Christian singles assume that because they’ve been single for so long, they must be called to singleness. But that\u2019s not necessarily true. If you still have a strong, godly desire to be married, don\u2019t throw in the towel just because it hasn\u2019t happened yet. You might simply be in a season of what some call \u201cclosed singleness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n This could mean God has you focused on serving or working in another area of your life, and you’re not actively dating. He may be drawing your attention to Himself, calling you to seek Him more deeply. But that doesn\u2019t mean you’re called to lifelong singleness. Unless you’ve never had a desire to be married, I personally don\u2019t believe that\u2019s your calling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul is a good example\u2014he advised Christians to \u201cremain as I am,\u201d but he never said it was wrong to desire marriage. Both marriage and singleness are gifts. Most Christian singles don\u2019t like the \u201cgift of singleness,\u201d but if that\u2019s where God has you right now, you can embrace it, enjoy your life, and still look forward to marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That doesn\u2019t mean you won\u2019t get lonely. Loneliness is real, which is why community is essential. During my own season of singleness, God blessed me with a godly community I could walk with\u2014people who truly understood me. Having a circle that both identifies with you and encourages you is gold. Some singles think they should only be friends with other singles, but that\u2019s not true. There\u2019s nothing wrong with having married friends. You can have strong, healthy friendships with them without feeling jealous. Married couples need singles, and singles need married couples. We can learn from each other and help one another stay strong in the body of Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s unfortunate that many Christian singles feel isolated because so many church programs focus on couples and families. When it comes to singles, there\u2019s often little to nothing offered. This isolation only deepens the loneliness, leaving singles feeling like they\u2019re the only ones left in their church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I say all that to say this: go back to God first. Then ask Him to lead you into the right communities\u2014places where you feel seen, heard, and embraced. That might include fellow singles, or it could be godly couples who can pour relationship tips into you as you prepare for marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t overlook anyone God wants to bring into your life. Just remember: your worth and value come from your heavenly Father. It\u2019s okay to have moments of loneliness. But if you\u2019re living in a state of loneliness, it\u2019s time to run back to the feet of Jesus and ask Him to make you whole. Marriage won\u2019t make you whole. Your wholeness comes from being a child of God and knowing who you are in Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ready to meet some amazing Christian singles<\/a>? Download the SALT Christian dating<\/a> app today!<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Here are my top 5 relationship tips for Christian singles. I’ll be taking you through my journey from meeting my husband to marrying him. TL;DR: The Summary How do we take practical, biblical steps from dating to marriage? What does it look like to navigate the dating pool with intention and faith? This isn\u2019t about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2518,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,7,9,24],"class_list":["post-3267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-singleness-and-dating","tag-all","tag-christian-dating-advice","tag-relationships","tag-tips"],"yoast_head":"\nDiscern Fruit, Not Potential<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Focus on the fruit<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Date With a Finish Line<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
My story<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Protect Your Body and Boundaries<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Honour your own convictions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Let God Lead, Not Loneliness<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Loneliness and Isolation are real<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
It’s about the right people<\/h3>\n\n\n\n