One major challenge for many Christian single women is that they don\u2019t fully understand men. Go figure. I often see questions like, \u201cHow do I know if he likes me or if he\u2019s just being friendly?\u201d or, \u201cShould I tell him I like him, or should I wait for him to make the first move?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let’s Ask The Men!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The best way to clear up this confusion is simple: ask a man. Single Christian women should have Godly men in their lives they can seek wisdom from. That way, they\u2019re getting insight from the source rather than relying on hearsay. What many fail to recognize is that Christian men often want the same things women want; they just express it differently. While God did make men and women different in many ways, all human beings deeply desire to feel seen, heard, and loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many Christian single women see themselves as \u201cthe prize\u201d or the \u201cfavor factor,\u201d yet some forget that God loves men, too. Scripture shows an intimate relationship between God and Adam long before Eve was created. This doesn\u2019t mean women are less important, but it does affirm that men are equally loved. Sadly, I\u2019ve seen Christian women dismiss or even criticize men who share dating insights. Often, this stems from past hurt or heartbreak, which can lead them to view all men through a painful lens. Because of that, it becomes difficult to accept advice from men\u2014simply because they\u2019ve been hurt by men before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not all men…<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Even when hearing phrases like, \u201cNot all men are the same,\u201d it can be hard to believe because of their experiences. That\u2019s why it\u2019s so important to bring those wounds to God and work through the pain before reentering the dating world. It\u2019s unfair to make a new man pay for the mistakes of the old one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So instead of twiddling our thumbs wondering, \u201cWhat are Christian single men really thinking?\u201d let\u2019s go straight to the source. On SALT Social<\/a>, Christian men are sharing advice on key topics like communication, attraction, women making the first move, clarity, and authenticity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOne thing I find a bit challenging is when communication feels one-sided. If I\u2019m asking questions and getting only short, one-word answers, it can feel like I\u2019m conducting an interview rather than having a genuine conversation. Also, when someone messages first with just \u2018hi,\u2019 it\u2019s a bit hard to keep the conversation going. A little more creativity and effort in starting the conversation would make things flow better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHealthy communication. Tell me the truth. I can’t be with a woman who I can’t trust. Also keep the provocative pictures for your husband. The world don’t need to see your body. Modest is hottest. Be yourself & the right man will find you. Matthew 6:33-Seek the Kingdom of God & His righteousness & everything will be added to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy first point would be that we aren\u2019t mind-readers. There\u2019s nothing worse than mixed messages, or giving out false signals. Secondly be prepared to work at something. Don\u2019t just write someone off if there isn\u2019t an immediate connection or you don\u2019t get the spark straight away. Sometimes this whole thing can be a process rather than a tick-box exercise. Hope this helps!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, Christian single women could argue that \u201cit works both ways. Christian men need to be able to communicate too.\u201d Without being defensive, it\u2019s important to take self-inventory and examine the areas that can be improved when it comes to communication with the opposite sex. When was the last time you were truly open and honest with someone? There\u2019s always a risk, but at least you would have been forthcoming with the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What stands out to me most in these responses is the reminder that \u201cmen are not mind readers.\u201d Is it really fair to judge a man for something when you\u2019ve never expressed what your expectations were?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood men exist, but they may not fit worldly ideals. A godly man might not sweep you off your feet with charm, but he will show love, integrity, and respect. Attraction grows over time\u2014prioritize character over instant chemistry. A good man is honest, consistent, and values faith. Don\u2019t let unrealistic expectations blind you to genuine love. Focus on becoming your best self, trust God\u2019s timing, and stay open to love that brings peace, not just excitement. True love often comes in unexpected ways.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, Hollywood has warped our thinking when it comes to attraction. I\u2019ve seen plenty of women turn men down simply because they were under six feet tall. They knew nothing about his character, his values, or his heart\u2014it was solely because of \u201cher preference.\u201d I\u2019m not saying you have to be with someone you\u2019re not attracted to. God knows exactly what you like, but it\u2019s important to keep in mind that attraction fades with age. What looks beautiful now at 30 may not be the same when you\u2019re almost 80.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s time we as Christians look at the totality of a person. He may be under six feet, but what if he is everything you ever prayed for? He may not have a six-pack, but what if he\u2019s a prayer warrior who will fight with you in the Spirit to keep your relationship strong? His hair may not be your first choice, but what if he\u2019s a gentleman who treats you with honor and respect? We need to reevaluate our priorities when it comes to attraction. There\u2019s nothing wrong with having preferences, but be open to what God may have for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI also know that when girls are even a little forward sometimes, especially in Christian circles, it can come across as desperate\u2026 even when they are not. Look, we all don\u2019t like being vulnerable, but both sides need to put in effort. I think a girl needs to be honest about her interest, as do guys. Speaking as a girl, there is something about a guy pursuing you that feels right. But\u2026 that doesn\u2019t mean us ladies should be vague and cryptic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIn my view, it would help immensely if a lady would let a man know that she is interested in exploring something more than friendship. I am terrible at \u2018reading the signs\u2019. Perhaps other men are also. I operate on the basis that, unless a lady communicates to me that she is interested in something more, a lady who is nice to me is simply being nice, polite, and courteous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTake action! Don\u2019t sit around waiting for something to happen without making an effort. Why do you expect someone to enter your life and care for you when you don\u2019t even show the slightest interest in them? Show attention, be genuine women. Love is something you should master and give unconditionally, not something men should have to beg for!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBe the one to take the first step. While we all want things to play out like a romance movie, we feel like it\u2019s only a matter of time before one is known as \u201cthat guy\u201d for approaching the ladies after Church and whatnot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Depending on how you were raised, many women believe it looks desperate to make the first move. They think it automatically makes them the pursuer, as if they\u2019re chasing a man. But that\u2019s not the case. Giving a man the \u201cgreen light\u201d can be as simple as starting a conversation or showing interest in what he enjoys. When I first met my husband, I never intended to pursue him. I simply opened the conversation by thanking him for a post that encouraged me. From there, he took the lead and began to pursue me. Still, if I had never initiated that conversation, we may never have developed a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I believe many Christian single women are afraid of the risk, but there\u2019s no such thing as a risk-free relationship. You\u2019re putting yourself out there with the possibility of being rejected\u2014but even if you are, it simply means that person wasn\u2019t right for you. It has nothing to do with your worth or your value. Too often, women take rejection personally and immediately ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d The truth is, there\u2019s nothing wrong with the person God created you to be. So don\u2019t be afraid to start a conversation and show interest. It could be something as simple as saying, \u201cI enjoy talking with you and would like to get to know you.\u201d Keep it simple, and don\u2019t overthink it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBe clear and let us know you’re not interested, most of us are ok with rejection but ghosting is just disrespectful (just personal experience).\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s not easy to tell someone you’re not interested. Many Christian single women overthink this out of fear of being rude, but clarity is always kindness. I firmly believe in the phrase, \u201cLeave the person better than you found them.\u201d More often than not, people appreciate honesty over being strung along just to spare their feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I remember a guy in high school who clearly liked me, but I didn\u2019t feel the same way. It wasn\u2019t about a lack of attraction\u2014I simply didn\u2019t like him as more than a friend. During our senior class trip to San Antonio, Texas, he and I had an open and honest conversation. I told him that the feeling wasn\u2019t mutual. While I could see he was disappointed, he respected me for being straightforward. We even enjoyed the rest of the trip as friends, with no hard feelings between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve gone on a few dates and don\u2019t see potential for a relationship, it\u2019s best to say so early. The last thing you want is to end up in a one-sided relationship where they\u2019re all in and you\u2019re not. As God\u2019s people, we are called to be an example in the dating world and treat others with honor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPaint a 3D picture of the totality of who you are. It’d be great if more women wrote more about their unique personality + interests outside of their faith\/beliefs. I want to be with someone who shares my faith, of course, but your doctrine and beliefs on their own don’t encompass everything. If you’re only highlighting your beliefs and faith, it leads me to believe you have no major hobbies, passions, quirks, & interests outside of that; which paints a 2D representation of who you really are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t use picture filters! You are beautiful just the way God designed you. We should all be sharing the authentic version of ourselves and that goes for the men as well. Pray! God said in Genesis 2:18 that it is not good for man to be alone, so he will make a helper designed especially for him. Ask the Lord to prepare you and introduce you to that man. He will when both you and the man are ready. Sorry ladies, but Men have a longer preparation time. I\u2019m 51 and God is still preparing me!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n We live in a culture that tells us what\u2019s beautiful and what\u2019s not. Many women believe they need to be a certain size, a certain weight, have a certain length of hair, and meet countless other standards in order to be attractive to the opposite sex. While there\u2019s nothing wrong with being stylish or wearing makeup, if you\u2019re doing it out of insecurity to attract a man, that\u2019s when it becomes dangerous. You\u2019re not being your authentic self. You\u2019re essentially wearing a mask, expecting this man to care for you when he doesn\u2019t even know the real you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Bible says, \u201cCharm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting.\u201d What makes a woman stand out more than anything is her reverence and fear of the Lord. If you want to attract a godly man, focus on maturing in your own godly character. Yes, take care of yourself and wear the styles you like, but at the end of the day, you need to be yourself. You\u2019ll feel so much better knowing this man is drawn to you\u2014not a perceived version of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Change takes time. If anything from the comments above stood out to you, take it to the Lord and ask Him where you need to grow and improve. It\u2019s easy to get defensive and point fingers at the opposite sex, saying what they should do better. But take time to look within and examine your own heart first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Want to join the conversation? SALT Social is the go-to space for users to connect on a fun yet Kingdom-centered level. Ask for relationship advice, share a worship song, or post a photo of your favorite vacation spot. And who knows\u2014you might meet someone amazing<\/a> along the way!<\/p>\n\n\n\nCommunication\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
-Cameron<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
-Alex<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
-James<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Attraction<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
-Paul<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nWomen making the first move\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
-Jo<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
-Josh<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
-Krasimir<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
-Hugo<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Clarity\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
-Jeremy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Authenticity\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
-Caleb<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
-Michael<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
SALT S<\/strong>ocial<\/h2>\n\n\n\n