{"id":2976,"date":"2025-07-17T09:01:51","date_gmt":"2025-07-17T09:01:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=2976"},"modified":"2025-07-17T09:01:53","modified_gmt":"2025-07-17T09:01:53","slug":"how-to-guard-your-heart-while-single","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/how-to-guard-your-heart-while-single\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Guard Your Heart While Single"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This post gives practical wisdom about how to guard your heart while you’re single. How to keep you heart open to love and healthy relationships while before you find your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TL:DR: The Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

How can you guard your heart while single and not let what others say affect you? How can you stay the course and follow what God has called you to do now, before a spouse comes into the picture? It\u2019s easy to get caught up in what others think you should do, but the only opinion that truly matters is God\u2019s. Here are five ways to guard your heart while you are single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Focus on your Relationship with God<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Choose Wise Relationships with Others<\/a>\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Discern Your Desires<\/a>\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Commit to Purpose over Pressure<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. Wait for God\u2019s Timing<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    This is not about having a foolproof method. Unfortunately, many Christian singles seek a secret formula to escape singleness as quickly as possible. What they fail to understand is that sometimes, God may simply want them to Himself. There may be something He wants them to do in this season that does not require a spouse. Trust that God has a perfect plan for your life. In due time, He will reveal who your spouse is. In the meantime, you can guard your heart while waiting for the right one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Intro<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cIs it even necessary to guard my heart while I am still single?\u201d <\/strong>Many Christian singles wonder if they even need to guard their hearts, especially if they are not actively dating. Some fall into what is considered \u201cclosed singleness,\u201d <\/strong>meaning they are single and not currently seeking a relationship or wanting to be found by a spouse. They may be in a season of personal growth\u2014where God is working on their hearts, they are healing from past trauma, or they are simply taking time to regroup and rediscover who they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So, how can you, as a Christian single, guard your heart even when you\u2019re not in the dating phase? This is a common concern, and guarding your heart does not mean shutting yourself off from everyone. A common misconception is that guarding your heart means avoiding relationships altogether. However, that was never God\u2019s intention. Guarding your heart doesn\u2019t mean closing yourself off from the world\u2014it means being intentional about what influences your emotions, thoughts, and desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Created for relationship<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    God created us for relationships. In the Garden of Eden, after creating Adam, God said, \u201cIt is not good for man to be alone.\u201d<\/em> This didn\u2019t mean Adam was incomplete; rather, it emphasized that we were designed for community and connection. Unfortunately, some Christian singles take this to an extreme, which makes it difficult for them to form friendships with the opposite sex without feeling awkward or pressured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    You\u2019ve probably seen it happen\u2014you make a simple connection at church, and before you know it, the whole congregation assumes you\u2019re dating. It\u2019s as if you can\u2019t be friends with the opposite sex without people speculating about a romantic relationship. If you\u2019re not careful, these outside suggestions can influence your thoughts, leading you to develop feelings for someone who may have only been meant to be a friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Are you in a season where you\u2019re not supposed to be dating? If so, there is nothing wrong with that. Simply seek the Lord and ask Him for clarity. He will make it clear whether this is the right time for you to pursue a relationship or if He is calling you to focus on something else in this season of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"taking<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Focus on your relationship with God<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
      <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      We often hear the advice to focus on God, but unfortunately, many Christian singles see this as a clich\u00e9. Spending time with Jesus during a season of singleness isn\u2019t always appealing to those who are eager to get married. They may feel like they are missing out or that time is passing them by\u2014especially as they grow older and it seems like there are no prospects for a spouse. I remember feeling that way when I was single. If you know my story, I remained single for 12 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      While I was focusing on my relationship with God, there were times when it felt like I was missing out. The enemy would lie to me, telling me that I was wasting my time and that nothing good could come from simply growing in my relationship with the Lord. But that was a lie. In reality, prioritizing my relationship with God was one of the best decisions I made. It prepared me for marriage in ways I didn\u2019t fully realize at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Equipped for marriage<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      What many Christian singles don\u2019t understand is that by focusing on their relationship with the Lord, they are becoming better equipped for marriage. For example, as believers, we are called to deny ourselves, become more like Christ, and seek the well-being of others. This doesn\u2019t mean having low self-esteem or lacking self-worth. Rather, it means not being so self-centered that we only care about our own needs. If you are self-focused now in singleness, you will carry that same mindset into marriage. However, when you focus on the Lord, He reveals the areas in your life that need to change so that you can reflect Christ more and yourself less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      By spending time with God, I was able to heal, grow, and mature into the woman my husband is married to today. I don\u2019t get it right all the time, but I strive to consider my husband\u2019s needs more than my own. That doesn\u2019t mean I am less important or that I don\u2019t matter\u2014it means I am learning, day by day, to be less selfish, which is what Christ calls us to do. When you focus on your relationship with God, you learn to die to your flesh, and that is a crucial part of marriage. Marriage is another level of self-denial, and if you aren\u2019t practicing that now in singleness, you will struggle with it in marriage. Without this, your marriage may have a harder time thriving and glorifying God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Dying to self<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      One major reason many marriages suffer is that one spouse is willing to die to themselves while the other is not. I once heard a pastor say that the best marriages are built between two servants in love. The best thing you can do for your future spouse right now is to humble yourself before God. This requires effort, growth, and consistently spending time in God\u2019s presence. Focus on the Lord now, so that when you do marry, your spouse won\u2019t have to do the heavy lifting alone. This doesn\u2019t mean your marriage will be perfect, but it will make things much smoother and healthier in the long run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Choose Wise Relationships with Others <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
        <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Proverbs 13:20 says, \u201cWalk with the wise and become wise.\u201d <\/em>Not all Christian singles have the best people in their inner circle. While many understand the importance of surrounding themselves with a Godly community, some find themselves influenced by people who are either not as spiritually mature or lack a deep understanding of God\u2019s word, leading to misguided advice. Choosing wise relationships is crucial, especially when you are single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        I can\u2019t count the number of times I was asked, Why are you still single?<\/em> Surprisingly, these comments didn\u2019t come from unbelievers but from people within my own church\u2014people who loved God yet didn\u2019t always offer the most helpful words<\/a>. I had to learn to tune out those who were simply being nosy about my personal life. Instead, I chose to share my dating experiences only with those I trusted\u2014people rooted in God\u2019s word who could provide biblical guidance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Close circle<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

        When I met my husband in July 2021, I didn\u2019t tell anyone about our conversations until about two months into our growing relationship. My reason? I wanted to avoid unnecessary opinions and focus on gathering insight during the dating phase to determine if he was someone I wanted to continue seeing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Aside from my immediate family, I confided in a select few. One close friend, who was also on her own unique dating journey with the Lord, became a trusted confidante. As my relationship with my now-husband progressed, she shared a dream she had about us getting married. This was before my husband proposed, and while it caught me off guard, I appreciated that she covered our relationship in prayer. She never pressured me to rush into marriage or made me feel bad for taking my time to truly get to know him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Having the right voices in your life is essential, especially in singleness. Many Christian singles, both men and women, are emotionally vulnerable and don\u2019t need to hear simplistic advice like just wait on God,<\/em> have more faith,<\/em> or be patient.<\/em> While well-intended, these statements don\u2019t always provide the support and encouragement singles truly need. If you haven\u2019t already, ask God to bring people into your life who will uplift you, hold you accountable, and point you back to His word when you feel discouraged in your singleness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \"two<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

        Discern your Desires  <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
          <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          This topic can be taken to two extremes, and it\u2019s important to discuss both when it comes to discerning your desires. Some Christian singles go to one extreme and decide they don\u2019t need God\u2019s input when it comes to dating. They believe God doesn\u2019t care about the little things and that they can handle the nuances of their dating life on their own. After all, they know what they want and need, so they think they can make the right decision when it comes to choosing a spouse. This could not be further from the truth. As believers, we are called to be led by the Spirit, not the flesh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          The other extreme is when Christian singles over-spiritualize their dating lives<\/a>. They are so afraid of making the wrong decisions that they seek confirmation after confirmation to determine whether this person is their spouse. The problem is, they\u2019re not willing to give the relationship time through dating to see if the person is a good fit. They want all the answers from God before even going on the first date. Or they use the first date to interrogate the other person, hoping to know for sure before they walk out the door whether this person is their spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          It’s a balance<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

          We need to find a balance between both approaches. It\u2019s important to consult God in our dating life, but we also need to take practical steps and genuinely get to know people. It\u2019s not about figuring everything out on the first date. While God can confirm a relationship early on, that is the exception, not the rule. We also need to take inventory of our hearts to ensure we\u2019re entering relationships for the right reasons. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Are you dating because you\u2019re impatient and lonely? If so, it\u2019s best to take time to heal and ask God to fill those gaps before bringing someone else into the picture. If not, you risk becoming a leech, expecting the other person to complete you, which is not their job. The purpose of relationships is to glorify God so that others can see Jesus Christ through your marriage. Ask yourself: \u201cDo I want this for the right reasons?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          Commit to Purpose over Pressure<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
            <\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            As I mentioned earlier, many Christian singles enter relationships due to family expectations or societal pressures. If you are not married by a certain age, you may feel judged or viewed as a failure, as though something is wrong with you. Because many Christian singles care more about what others think than what God thinks, they often enter relationships prematurely, believing their singleness needs to be “fixed.” Singleness is not a disease, nor is it a punishment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Whether you are single or married, both are gifts from God. You can honor God in your singleness and discover the purpose He has for your life. When you are committed to your purpose and focused solely on what God wants you to do, everything else will begin to seem less important. This doesn\u2019t mean you won\u2019t occasionally feel lonely or desire a relationship. But your focus on pleasing the Lord will make everything else seem less significant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Ultimate purpose<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

            God cares more about your purpose than your relationship status. If you need a spouse to fulfill your purpose, God will provide one. There\u2019s no need to rush or force something to happen. We all know that when we force relationships, we often end up hurting ourselves and the other person. Commit to your purpose in Christ, trusting that He will provide everything you need\u2014including a spouse, if that\u2019s part of His plan for your mission on earth. While marriage offers companionship, its primary purpose is for both you and your spouse to work together to fulfill the assignments God has given you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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