{"id":2974,"date":"2025-07-17T08:13:08","date_gmt":"2025-07-17T08:13:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=2974"},"modified":"2025-07-17T08:13:10","modified_gmt":"2025-07-17T08:13:10","slug":"situationships-and-how-to-avoid-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/situationships-and-how-to-avoid-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Situationships and How to Avoid Them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This post helps Christians recognise and avoid situationships &#8211; where they&#8217;re with a partner with no commitment or clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tl-dr-the-summary\">TL;DR: The Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I hope you realize your worth and never settle for breadcrumbs from others. Some Christian singles fall into situationships out of fear, thinking, <em>\u201cIt\u2019s better than being alone.\u201d<\/em> Let\u2019s put an end to this kind of thinking now! You deserve God\u2019s best, and it\u2019s worth the wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So how do we avoid situationships as Christians? Here are a few tips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"#h-clarify-intentions-early\">Clarify Intentions Early<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-don-t-settle-for-almost\">Don\u2019t Settle for \u2018Almost\u2019<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-guard-your-heart-and-emotions\">Guard Your Heart and Emotions<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/h-establish-and-enforce-boundaries\">Establish and Enforce Boundaries<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-trust-god-over-your-feelings\">Trust God Over your Feelings<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know you want to honor God in your dating life, and I understand that waiting for the right person can be difficult. The person in front of you may seem appealing, but when you look beneath the surface, you realize they\u2019re not what you truly want. It may not make sense right now, but trusting God\u2019s timing is the best thing you can do. Yes, put yourself out there and meet new people, but use discernment to recognize when you\u2019re wasting your time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How Do I Deal With a Situationship?\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/4Vd8hU5XAR8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-intro\">Intro<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ever been in a situationship or know someone who has? Maybe you\u2019ve been on the outside looking in, watching your friend accept breadcrumbs from someone, thinking, <em>\u201cThey deserve so much more.\u201d<\/em> Or perhaps you found yourself caught in a situationship, staying because you thought you could <em>\u201cchange the person.\u201d<\/em> You believed you\u2019d be different in their eyes and that they\u2019d finally commit to you. But, in the end, all that decision left you with was heartbreak and probably a sense of foolishness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What exactly is a situationship? I only learned this term a few years ago, and I think it can be closely related to a \u201cfriendationship.\u201d A situationship is when you share a romantic connection with someone, but without the commitment. You have deep conversations, spend time together, but there\u2019s no clarity. You may even cross boundaries and sleep with this person, but there\u2019s no security of a real relationship. You\u2019re always left wondering, <em>\u201cWhat are we?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-my-story\">My story<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most Christian singles don\u2019t intentionally enter these kinds of relationships. What they don\u2019t realize is that it&#8217;s the small compromises that can lead them into something they never wanted. I found myself in a similar situation before meeting my husband in 2019. I thought this man was a catch, but when we talked about moving forward, he kept saying the distance was too much. Let me be clear\u2014we both lived in the same city, with only about forty-five minutes between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I did my best to respect his wishes, but what I should have done was walk away. Instead, I kept talking to him, assuming he would change his mind. Deep conversations followed, and while it felt like a relationship, it wasn\u2019t. Eventually, God told me to stop taking his calls. Despite still having feelings for him, I obeyed. Two years later, I met my husband, who lived in New York. Distance didn\u2019t matter to him because I was worth seeing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-clarify-intentions-early\">Clarify Intentions Early<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re dating with the goal of marriage, there\u2019s no point in pursuing someone who doesn\u2019t want a commitment. That doesn\u2019t make them a bad person\u2014it just means they don\u2019t share your goals. You want marriage and children, while they prefer to stay unattached. I once saw a woman ask a talk show host what to do about her boyfriend of one year who hadn\u2019t proposed. They had moved in together, but he still hadn\u2019t asked her to marry him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The man\u2019s response\u2014one I noticed but others seemed to overlook\u2014was that he had seen many failed relationships around him and was afraid of ending up the same way. He didn\u2019t want to take the risk in case things didn\u2019t work out. While this was a secular show, even Christian singles find themselves in similar situations. Setting your intentions early helps eliminate confusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-don-t-be-intense-about-it\">Don&#8217;t be intense about it<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This doesn\u2019t mean you need to share your life goals on the first date. However, after a few dates and meaningful conversations, if you sense that you\u2019re on different paths, trust that feeling and move on. You can\u2019t convince someone that you\u2019re a catch. Only God can change a person\u2019s heart, so don\u2019t waste your time trying. The right person will see your worth immediately and will do whatever it takes to win your heart. You won\u2019t have to convince them to choose or love you\u2014they\u2019ll simply know, and so will you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just remember, being <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/dating-for-marriage\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">clear about your intentions<\/a> comes with the risk of losing someone. Are you willing to walk away if necessary? It\u2019s not easy, but it can save you from heartache in the long run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-don-t-settle-for-almost\">Don\u2019t Settle for \u2018Almost\u2019<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"2\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To think I almost settled for a man who wasn\u2019t willing to make a forty-five-minute trip. He brought it up in almost every conversation, saying, <em>\u201cThis could work, but you\u2019re so far away.\u201d<\/em> Then, two years later, I met my husband\u2014who had no hesitation about buying a plane ticket from New York to Texas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Looking back, I now realize the man from 2019 didn\u2019t truly know what he wanted. While he was a Christian, he was still working on himself. He had abandonment issues, and although he loved God, he wasn\u2019t ready for a committed relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I made the mistake of sticking around. Deep down, I sensed it was a bad idea to keep talking to him, but I genuinely enjoyed our conversations. What I didn\u2019t realize\u2014until the Lord made it clear\u2014was that this man was using me as a nurse. He had a lot of trauma from his past, and instead of running to God, he was running to me for emotional support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-be-aware\">Be aware<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Many people, especially women, fall into this because we are natural nurturers. God created us to help and support, but if we\u2019re not careful, we can end up becoming a man\u2019s nurse. That\u2019s exactly what happened to me. In many ways, I had become an idol in his life. I\u2019ll never forget when he called to tell me something bad had happened. He didn\u2019t share details, but I assumed he had backslid into old habits. Then, another night, he called me at 2 a.m. The Lord was clear: <em>\u201cDon\u2019t answer the phone, and don\u2019t call him back.\u201d<\/em> It was tough, but I obeyed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I could have settled, thinking, <em>\u201cThis is just how relationships are. No one is perfect.\u201d<\/em> And while it\u2019s true that no spouse will be without flaws, there\u2019s a difference between being someone\u2019s nurse and supporting them as they work things out with God on their own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, I\u2019m married to a man who wakes up before sunrise every morning to pray and seek God in the Scriptures. While I support him, he seeks the Lord first before coming to me. He covers me in prayer and strives to love me as Christ loves the Church. You don\u2019t have to accept less out of fear or believe that\u2019s all you deserve. Some Christian singles settle because they think past mistakes disqualify them from God\u2019s best. But less than God\u2019s best is never your portion. He has amazing things in store for you\u2014if you trust Him and His timing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"725\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shan-w-dupe-2-725x1024.jpg\" alt=\"sitting with dog\" class=\"wp-image-2528\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shan-w-dupe-2-725x1024.jpg 725w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shan-w-dupe-2-212x300.jpg 212w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shan-w-dupe-2-768x1085.jpg 768w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shan-w-dupe-2-1087x1536.jpg 1087w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shan-w-dupe-2-8x12.jpg 8w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/shan-w-dupe-2.jpg 1415w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 725px) 100vw, 725px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-guard-your-heart-and-emotions\">Guard Your Heart and Emotions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"3\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One reason some people get caught in situationships is that they\u2019ve already \u201cmarried\u201d the person in their mind. Some Christian singles, either having never been on a date or having been single for so long, may jump at the first person who pays them attention. They convince themselves that starting over isn\u2019t an option because they\u2019re past thirty, over forty, or approaching fifty. They buy into the lie that they are \u201crunning out of time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is a big mistake. A date is simply an event\u2014it\u2019s not a commitment or a marriage proposal. The purpose of dating is to gather information about the other person. After the date, the question shouldn\u2019t be, <em>\u201cDo I want to marry them?\u201d<\/em> but rather, <em>\u201cDo I want to go on a second date?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-guard-your-heart\">How to guard your heart<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Proverbs 4:23 says, <em>\u201cKeep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.\u201d<\/em>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Paul later writes in Philippians 4:7, <em>\u201cAnd the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.\u201d<\/em> However, guarding your heart doesn\u2019t mean building walls. Some Christian singles take this to the extreme, keeping everyone at a distance in an attempt to protect themselves. But this isn\u2019t healthy\u2014because at its core, it\u2019s rooted in fear of being hurt or deceived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Bible instructs us to guard our hearts, meaning we should remain watchful and discerning. We must be mindful of who we allow into our lives because our emotions shift once our hearts become tied to someone. When we intentionally keep our emotions in check, we are less likely to be deceived. We can ask God for discernment and to reveal the true intentions of the person we\u2019re interested in. The answer may not always be what we want to hear, but when we invite God into the process, He will never lead us astray.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How To Guard Your Heart in Dating\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8H-NYeXDyHI?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-establish-and-enforce-boundaries\">Establish and Enforce Boundaries<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"4\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If someone doesn\u2019t respect your boundaries or shames you for them, that\u2019s a clear sign they\u2019re not the right person for you. Imagine telling them: <em>\u201cI don\u2019t mind talking to you, but having these deep conversations is too much\u2014especially when you\u2019ve expressed that you don\u2019t want a commitment. It only brings confusion. You treat me like we\u2019re together, but we\u2019re not. If this continues, I\u2019m going to have to step away.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This may sound harsh, but ask yourself\u2014what\u2019s more important? Them getting what they want from you or protecting your well-being? Yes, you risk losing them, but the truth is, you never really had them in the first place. They keep telling you, <em>\u201cI\u2019m not ready for a relationship,\u201d<\/em> yet they still invite you to hang out. They don\u2019t see a future with you, but they occasionally say things like, <em>\u201cI wish I could marry someone like you.\u201d<\/em> I hate to say it, but your emotions are being played.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-recognise-manipulation\">Recognise manipulation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don\u2019t fall into the trap of their words\u2014pay attention to their actions. That will reveal the truth. Too many women say, <em>\u201cI know he likes me, but he hasn\u2019t said I\u2019m his girlfriend,\u201d<\/em> or, <em>\u201cWe\u2019ve been off and on for years.\u201d<\/em> You shouldn\u2019t be in an <em>off-and-on<\/em> situation. If someone truly wants to be with you, their mind is already made up. It\u2019s only a matter of time before you make things official. There may be hiccups along the way, but they won\u2019t stand in the way of a real commitment. You\u2019ll meet their family and friends. A wedding date will be set. You\u2019ll discuss where you\u2019ll live together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stand firm in your boundaries. You\u2019re not asking for too much by wanting clarity and commitment. If they\u2019re not on board or are dragging their feet, there\u2019s no sense in trying to drag them to the altar. Some may argue, <em>\u201cWell, marriage isn\u2019t for everyone,\u201d<\/em> and I understand that perspective. However, as Christians, we are called to a higher standard. Wanting the benefits of a covenant without marriage is not pleasing to the Lord. If the person you\u2019re talking to is okay with that, <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">you need to walk away<\/a>\u2014immediately.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-trust-god-over-your-feelings\">Trust God Over your Feelings<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"5\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m not going to tell you it was easy to block the man I was talking to back in 2019. At one point, I truly believed he was my husband. I thought I was seeing confirmations everywhere, but now I know it wasn\u2019t from the Lord. Sometimes, we want something so badly that we convince ourselves God is saying \u201cyes\u201d when He isn\u2019t. We mistake our own desires for His approval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If this person were truly God\u2019s choice for you, you wouldn\u2019t feel confused. 1 Corinthians 14:33a says, <em>\u201cFor God is not the author of confusion but of peace.\u201d<\/em> So why would He bring someone into your life who only brings chaos instead of clarity? Since meeting this person, all you do is overthink: <em>\u201cIs today the day they finally choose me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You\u2019re constantly trying to win their affection. Maybe you go out of your way to get them gifts. There\u2019s nothing wrong with kind gestures, but if you\u2019re trying to <em>buy<\/em> their love, you\u2019re in the wrong. Do relationships take work? Yes. But the difference is that <em>situationships<\/em> are one-sided. If you\u2019re giving them your best while they only give you their leftovers, it\u2019s time to walk away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-trust-god\">How to trust God<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know it\u2019s hard when you\u2019ve already imagined a future with them. But you need to trust God over your feelings. They\u2019re <em>not<\/em> going to change their mind about you. This isn\u2019t a romantic comedy where they have a sudden epiphany and run through traffic to declare their love. The late Maya Angelou said, <em>\u201cWhen someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.\u201d<\/em> And as the saying goes, <em>\u201cFool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don\u2019t let your emotions deceive you. Feelings are temporary. If I told you your spouse was just around the corner, would you leave this situationship immediately? I think you would\u2014because God\u2019s best is close by. I don\u2019t know <em>when<\/em> your time will come, but don\u2019t settle for second best when God has a grade-A plan for you. Trust Him with your heart\u2014He cares about it more than you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ready to <a href=\"https:\/\/onelink.to\/websiteurl\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">meet incredible Christian singles<\/a>? Download the SALT app today for a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.be-salt.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">long-term Christian relationship<\/a>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This post helps Christians recognise and avoid situationships &#8211; where they&#8217;re with a partner with no commitment or clarity. TL;DR: The Summary I hope you realize your worth and never settle for breadcrumbs from others. Some Christian singles fall into situationships out of fear, thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s better than being alone.\u201d Let\u2019s put an end to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2468,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,7,9],"class_list":["post-2974","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-singleness-and-dating","tag-all","tag-christian-dating-advice","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.5 (Yoast SEO v28.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Situationships and How to Avoid Them - SALT &amp; Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Situationships are easy to fall into. 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