{"id":2921,"date":"2025-06-05T09:41:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-05T09:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=2921"},"modified":"2025-06-05T09:41:02","modified_gmt":"2025-06-05T09:41:02","slug":"gift-of-singleness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/gift-of-singleness\/","title":{"rendered":"Do I Have The Gift of Singleness?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This blog post will help you discern whether you have the gift of singleness from God or whether you&#8217;re just single right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tl-dr-the-summary\">TL;DR: The Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you have the gift of singleness? Whether it\u2019s just a season or a lifelong calling, remember you\u2019re complete in Jesus Christ first. Check out these signs. If none ring true, you may not be called to permanent singleness:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"#h-complete-fulfilment-in-your-own-company\">Complete fulfilment in your own company<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/h-no-desire-for-a-romantic-commitment\">No desire for romantic commitment<\/a>\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-emotional-independence\">Emotional independence<\/a>\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-a-clear-sense-of-calling\">A Clear Sense of Calling<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-inner-peace\">Inner Peace<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s sad is that some church communities put pressure on singles to get married. If not they\u2019re somehow <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/married-couples-valued-above-singles\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">less than or aren\u2019t valued as a married person<\/a>. This is not what the Bible teaches.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In 1 Corinthians 7:6-7, it says \u201cBut I say this as a concession,&nbsp;not as a commandment. <strong><sup>&nbsp;<\/sup><\/strong>For&nbsp;I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.\u201d Paul actually advocates for singleness as opposed to marriage. While there\u2019s nothing wrong with marriage, your attention is divided between the Lord and your spouse. Can God get the glory out of you two together? Of course, but there\u2019s more freedom when you\u2019re not married. Again, Paul is saying that both are a gift, but if he had to choose, he would choose singleness. So let\u2019s go through this list do determine if you\u2019re fully called to singleness. If not, as I said before, keep the faith for it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Gift of singleness\u2026 what if I don\u2019t want it?!\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/jItkpbwT8L0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-intro\">Intro<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cMaybe I\u2019m meant to be <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/why-does-god-allow-me-to-feel-alone\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">alone for the rest of my life.<\/a>\u201d As Christian singles get older, many begin to wonder if they\u2019re supposed to stay single forever. Not being married by 30, 40, or even 50 sometimes feels like a sign that God wants them alone. Yet the desire for marriage remains, raising the question: How can you be called to singleness if you still long for marriage? What should you do\u2014simply give up and accept being single because you\u2019ve passed a certain age?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I believe there\u2019s a balance. If you truly want to be married, you can keep faith alive. Some choose to be single for a season to focus on themselves or to heal after a breakup. Long-term singleness, however, doesn\u2019t always mean you\u2019re called to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, how do you know? Let\u2019s start with a clear point: If you\u2019ve never in your life desired marriage, you\u2019re likely called to singleness. There\u2019s nothing wrong with that. You\u2019re simply devoted fully to the Lord, finding love and fulfilment through friends, family, and community. If that\u2019s you, embrace it without shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-complete-fulfilment-in-your-own-company\">Complete fulfilment in your own company<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019ve heard stories about single life being simpler, like not having to argue over the thermostat. You set it how you want and enjoy what you like\u2014music, movies, whatever\u2014without worrying about someone else\u2019s taste. Do you enjoy your own company? Not in a shut-the-world-out way, but in a calm, content way that rarely leaves you feeling lonely. Your mind isn\u2019t constantly longing for someone else\u2019s presence. Even when you watch romantic films, you don\u2019t get sad thinking, \u201cI wish I had that.\u201d You just enjoy the movie for what it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019ve never pictured yourself with a partner, maybe you\u2019re called to singleness. And that\u2019s perfectly fine. Society often tries to make us feel like there\u2019s something wrong if we don\u2019t want a relationship. Even family can pressure us into thinking we\u2019re missing out. But none of that is true. I\u2019ve met people who never once felt the urge to marry. They love God, serve in their churches, and prefer to remain unmarried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On the other hand, if you\u2019ve always pictured yourself married, take a deep breath. You\u2019re not meant to stay single forever. Even if you\u2019re single for a time, God can bring change in a moment. The key is staying encouraged. I can\u2019t say when your singleness will end, but someday you\u2019ll look back and see God\u2019s perfect timing in it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-no-desire-for-a-romantic-commitment\">No desire for a romantic commitment<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"2\" class=\"wp-block-list\"><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You may have dated in high school and college, but some people simply aren\u2019t cut out for long-term commitment. It doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re bad people, but not everyone can honestly say, \u201cfor better or worse, and forsaking all others\u201d in marriage. Does this mean you should only date casually and play with people\u2019s emotions? No. But if you know you don\u2019t see anything long-term with someone, be honest about it. There\u2019s no sense in raising their hopes if you\u2019re not going to commit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s nothing wrong if you\u2019ve never desired someone romantically for the long haul. You might enjoy the movie <em>The Wedding Planner<\/em>, but that doesn\u2019t mean you want an unexpected romance like Jennifer Lopez\u2019s character. Romance is everywhere\u2014in movies, TV shows, and songs. Even Christmas movies often lean toward romance rather than focusing on Jesus\u2019 birth. The world may scream \u201cromance,\u201d but you don\u2019t have to embrace it if it\u2019s not what you truly want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-single-focus\">Single focus<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you read further in 1 Corinthians 7:32-33, you\u2019ll find, \u201cBut I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord\u2014how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world\u2014how he may please his wife.\u201d As I said earlier, your attention isn\u2019t divided when you\u2019re single. You have more time to devote to the Lord and discover what He\u2019s called you to do. Paul encouraged this, especially since we\u2019re living in the last days, with Jesus\u2019 return being imminent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As a single person, you can focus on God\u2019s calling for you without distractions. Yes, you can serve God along with a spouse, but it\u2019s not a sin if you don\u2019t marry. Marriage is not the end-all, be-all, and it\u2019s not a salvation issue. So, if you don\u2019t have romantic feelings for anyone and you\u2019re determined to live a pure life before the Lord, go for it. However, if you do have a healthy sexual desire and want a covenant relationship with a husband or wife, God honors that desire, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"819\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/lisa-christensen-dupe-819x1024.jpg\" alt=\"mountain view with one person looking out to represent singleness\" class=\"wp-image-2533\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/lisa-christensen-dupe-819x1024.jpg 819w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/lisa-christensen-dupe-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/lisa-christensen-dupe-768x960.jpg 768w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/lisa-christensen-dupe-1229x1536.jpg 1229w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/lisa-christensen-dupe-10x12.jpg 10w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/lisa-christensen-dupe.jpg 1440w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 819px) 100vw, 819px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-emotional-independence\">Emotional independence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"3\" class=\"wp-block-list\"><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI just can\u2019t seem to get over my ex\u201d or \u201cI can\u2019t imagine the rest of my life without this person.\u201d If you\u2019ve never had these feelings or have never truly felt connected to someone on that level, you may be more emotionally independent. This doesn\u2019t mean you don\u2019t love or care about others, but if you\u2019ve never had serious feelings for someone, it\u2019s possible that you\u2019re meant to be single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019ve heard stories of people so emotionally attached to someone that, if they\u2019re not careful, they feel as if their whole world would crash and burn without that person. Being in love is powerful, which is why it\u2019s not wise to date before you\u2019re ready to handle its intensity. Think about your first heartbreak. If it happened during your teenage years, you probably felt as if your whole life were over. This person left you, and you didn\u2019t know how to move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-you-re-secure\">You&#8217;re secure<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On the other hand, maybe you\u2019ve always been secure in who you are. You may have felt heartache, but you didn\u2019t take it to an extreme. Your life wasn\u2019t over\u2014the relationship was. You knew your worth, moved on more quickly than others, and maybe people around you wondered, \u201cDo you even care?\u201d It\u2019s not that you don\u2019t, but your emotions are wired differently. There\u2019s nothing wrong with that, and if you\u2019ve never wanted that deep connection with a spouse, you may be called to singleness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s not because you\u2019re afraid or burned by a past relationship. Some think they\u2019re called to singleness because they made vows out of pain: \u201cI\u2019m never going to get hurt like that again, so I\u2019ll just be alone for the rest of my life.\u201d That might seem logical, but it\u2019s not the same as never desiring marriage. You\u2019re not protecting yourself by making that kind of vow. You\u2019re doing a disservice to yourself and your future spouse. By hiding your heart, you\u2019ll miss out on the person God may have for you. If you\u2019ve let your heart grow cold and calloused, you might be keeping yourself single.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, I\u2019ll ask again: have you ever desired to be emotionally connected to someone\u2014to be vulnerable and share everything? If yes, then you\u2019re not called to singleness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-a-clear-sense-of-calling\">A Clear Sense of Calling<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"4\" class=\"wp-block-list\"><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are some who don\u2019t desire marriage because they feel God has called them to something greater than themselves. This often happens with full-time missionaries. They\u2019re called to different places around the world, and it can be easier for them not to be tied to a spouse. This doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t serve God with your spouse. I\u2019ve heard of many husband-and-wife teams who travel the world serving Jesus. Even if they aren\u2019t traveling, they might be called to pastor together or serve in another capacity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re focused on the mission God has given you, there\u2019s nothing wrong with pursuing it on your own. Truthfully, you\u2019re not alone. Paul is a great example. While he didn\u2019t marry, God still brought people into his life who helped him share the Gospel on his journeys. His life wasn\u2019t unfulfilled. He learned how to \u201cabase and abound\u201d in all things, knowing that Jesus gave him strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-your-calling\">Your calling<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What has God called you to do right now? Do you see yourself serving alongside a spouse? If not, you may be called to singleness. Don\u2019t let anyone shame you into thinking that God can\u2019t work through you. Like Paul, He can surround you with others who will help carry the load. You\u2019re never truly alone when you have a community around you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Step into what God has called you to do. Seek Him with all your heart if you lack clarity about anything. He will guide you. However, if you long to partner with a spouse in your calling, surrender that desire to the Lord as well. He will bring the right person into alignment with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-inner-peace\">Inner Peace<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"5\" class=\"wp-block-list\"><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No matter what anyone says, nothing can dispute God\u2019s peace. Even if everyone around you says something different, if He spoke a word to you and gave you peace, who can argue otherwise? I remember having peace about my husband before we married. I knew what God had revealed to me, and while others tried to be sure I was making the right decision, my response was always, \u201cI know what I prayed for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Only you know what God has spoken to your heart about singleness. If you have a strong desire for marriage and a deep inner knowing that you are meant to be married, hold on to that. If the opposite is true, and you know God has not called you to that life, hold on to that as well. Don\u2019t let anyone talk you out of what God has shared with you. Sometimes, pressure from family, church, and society can push us into impulsive decisions because we feel like we need to \u201cfix\u201d something in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-listen-to-god\">Listen to God<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re running yourself ragged trying to please others, you\u2019re not in God\u2019s will. Look for where His peace resides, trusting that above all else. Have you always been at peace with being single? Do you feel genuinely happy for friends getting married, with no envy? If that\u2019s you, then singleness might be the life God\u2019s called you to. You\u2019re not afraid of spending the rest of your life \u201calone\u201d because you know, deep down, you\u2019re never truly alone. You know God has set you apart for something different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t picture that at all,\u201d I encourage you to keep believing for a kingdom relationship. I don\u2019t know why some marry sooner than others or why some wait longer. But I do know that, whether married or single, God has given us all a gift. If you don\u2019t identify with any of the above points, there is still hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-lies-about-time\">Lies about time<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don\u2019t buy into \u201ctime is running out\u201d or \u201cyou\u2019re not getting any younger.\u201d God has not forgotten your age or how long you\u2019ve been single. He knows where you are and how to provide exactly what you need. We may not like waiting, but we\u2019ll never regret waiting on God. Isaiah 40:31 says, \u201cBut those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of my favorite songs during my later single years was \u201cWait on the Lord\u201d by Elevation Worship and Maverick City. The promise is that He will renew your strength. If you feel weary and discouraged, ask Him for strength. He\u2019s working behind the scenes, writing the most amazing love story for you. If I had settled or given up, I wouldn\u2019t be here encouraging you now. Wait on the Lord. Don\u2019t accept long-term singleness as permanent. Keep believing and watch God work it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ready to meet some <a href=\"https:\/\/onelink.to\/websiteurl\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">incredible Christian singles<\/a> and step forward in faith? Download the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.be-salt.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">SALT Dating App<\/a> today!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This blog post will help you discern whether you have the gift of singleness from God or whether you&#8217;re just single right now. TL;DR: The Summary Do you have the gift of singleness? Whether it\u2019s just a season or a lifelong calling, remember you\u2019re complete in Jesus Christ first. Check out these signs. If none [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2505,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,8,11],"class_list":["post-2921","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-singleness-and-dating","tag-all","tag-singleness","tag-theology"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.7 (Yoast SEO v27.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Do I Have The Gift of Singleness? - SALT &amp; Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The gift of singleness is often confused with just being single. 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