{"id":2898,"date":"2025-04-30T12:39:21","date_gmt":"2025-04-30T12:39:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=2898"},"modified":"2025-04-30T12:39:23","modified_gmt":"2025-04-30T12:39:23","slug":"signs-you-need-to-break-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Signs You Need To Break Up"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>This blog post will help you decide whether it&#8217;s time to break up with the person you&#8217;re dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tl-dr-the-summary\">TL;DR: The Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Here an upfront list of the 5 signs you need to break up:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"#h-they-don-t-love-you-well\">They don\u2019t love you well<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-they-do-not-serve-their-family\">They do not serve their family<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-there-s-more-than-one-god-in-the-relationship\">There\u2019s more than one god in the relationship<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-there-s-a-saviour-complex\">One of you has a saviour complex<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-they-have-no-grace-for-you\">They have no grace for you<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-intro\">Intro<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. Perhaps the most public dissection of any relationship, ever. If you were anything like me you found yourself glued to the unfolding trial, tallying red flags on either side and trying to weigh in on who to believe. Regardless of your opinion, the truth stands that their turbulent marriage was entirely dysfunctional. It does not take a relationship expert to identify the reasons: the evidence is in the fruit of their union. The anger, hurt and a desire to publicly set the record straight, whatever the cost. And whilst (god willing) none of us will end up in such a dramatic situation, Heard vs Depp reveals the reality of the imperfection of human relationships, it reveals that desire for another person can blind us of our incompatibility, or even of our partner\u2019s inability to partake in a mature, fruitful and godly marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-two-possible-endings\">Two Possible Endings<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>All relationships have two possible endings: you stay together or you break up. The purpose of dating is to work out which road to go down, and we\u2019re here to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let us first remind you that you are free to choose singleness. Right now it might be the most godly decision you can make. There are two moments in which this choice becomes more pressing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>1. in the first rush of messages and first dates<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>2.\u00a0 in the long-term relationship which doesn\u2019t seem to be heading towards marriage.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>This blog post will tackle five key points to look out for if there is doubt lurking in the back of your mind. Before we begin there is one point which I\u2019m going to throw in right at the beginning and if you\u2019ve heard it once, you\u2019ve heard it a hundred times. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 God tells us \u2018Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?\u2019 I cannot emphasise enough that if you are <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/can-christians-date-non-christians\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">dating a non-Christian<\/a>, then their absence of faith is the biggest red flag of them all. Without the solid shared foundation of Jesus your relationship cannot bear fruit. The heartbreak is worth it because we have been given something so much greater.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Should I Break It Off? How to Know When to End a Relationship\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/rRQJCdn03Hg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-they-don-t-love-you-well\">They Don&#8217;t Love You Well<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This might seem obvious: why would I be with someone who doesn\u2019t love me? But the bible teaches us that love is not a feeling but an action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In 1 Corinthians 13 we find that beautiful passage which is read at most weddings: \u201cLove is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m not about to suggest that this is the standard of love we must look for in our partner. The love described here is the perfect love God has shown us through his son. Of course we all mess up sometimes, none of us are Jesus, but this passage is a helpful map with which we can identify patterns in our partner\u2019s behaviour. No matter how many times your boyfriend\/girlfriend tells you those three words \u201cI love you\u201d if their actions don\u2019t match up, then it\u2019s time to call it a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-they-do-not-serve-their-family\">They Do Not Serve Their Family<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It may be tempting to skip over this one, if he\/she loves me, that\u2019s all that matters right? But this is perhaps the most fool-proof way of revealing the contents of a person\u2019s heart. When God tells us \u2018My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you\u2019 (John 15:12), he intended us to practise this love. We should ask ourselves: who are they surrounded by and how do they interact? Pay attention to the way they speak about their family. Notice how they treat the elderly members of their church. Observe the culture they foster in their friendship group. This is ultimately the way they will treat you and maybe one day treat your children.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Concern should flicker across your face if themes emerge of disrespect, if they rejoice in other people\u2019s failings or suffering, if they are self-righteous and unwilling to serve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you can\u2019t answer any of these questions then I would ask why not. Have you met any of their friends or family? Have they welcomed you into their lives? A conversation needs to be had!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/sash-gabriel-dupe-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"guy across the table looking at his dog\" class=\"wp-image-2200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/sash-gabriel-dupe-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/sash-gabriel-dupe-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/sash-gabriel-dupe-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/sash-gabriel-dupe-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/sash-gabriel-dupe-9x12.jpg 9w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/sash-gabriel-dupe-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-there-s-more-than-one-god-in-the-relationship\">There&#8217;s More Than One God in the Relationship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As a Christian couple you may stand side by side but, to move forwards, you should both be looking up at God rather than one another. There is a deal-breaking problem if this is not the picture of your relationship. Who else, or what else, is materialising in the mental image you\u2019ve just drawn? It\u2019s that fourth member of your relationship which you are continually having to accommodate.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Is your <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/how-to-deal-with-my-partner-being-an-addict\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">partner struggling with an addiction<\/a>: to social media, porn or even their job? Are they persistently coveting others, chasing after a certain image as they pour hours of their life into the gym? Are they failing to make it to church because they just can\u2019t say no to a Saturday night with their mates? Maybe it\u2019s more subtle: there is a friend or parent who seems to direct their every choice. Or they\u2019ve wanted to be a doctor their whole life and nothing (even you) is going to get in their way. Maybe they\u2019re chasing too hard after that six figure salary or they objectify your body continually because they believe sex is going to fulfil them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are revelations which may take time to come to the surface but they should not be ignored. Perhaps there is a way of navigating through these issues. My instinct is that they\u2019re not ready <em>right now<\/em> to be in a relationship. There are things to be worked out between them and God. The greatest thing you can give them right now is time and space and prayer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-there-s-a-saviour-complex\">There&#8217;s a Saviour Complex<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This might be the trap we all fall into when we first enter the world of dating and relationships. The belief that having a partner will make me whole. When I\u2019m finally married my life will be complete. I\u2019ll be happy once he likes me back. Friend, none of these are true. Even that couple at church, or the insta couples (looking at you Jess and Gabe), who look perfect, fulfilled and happy on the surface, are facing all the human problems that you and I are too.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Acts 4:12 teaches us \u201cAnd there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.\u201d Only Jesus can save. We are not ready to enter a relationship if we believe that the other person can save or complete us. We are not ready to date if we believe the other person can provide us with our self worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are two sides to this because you are also incapable of saving another person. We cannot do Jesus\u2019s job. If you\u2019re dating someone because you think they can\u2019t live without you, then it might feel great right now but you weren\u2019t designed for that role and it\u2019s going to become more and more painful down the line. If you find yourself in an endless cycle of bending over backwards for them, becoming burnt out with the effort to make them feel good about themselves, then there are issues which need addressing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Trust your instinct on this, it\u2019s not right. Singleness is always going to be the better alternative if your relationship looks like this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-they-have-no-grace-for-you\">They Have No Grace For You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re not already feeling very uncomfortable then I\u2019m sure this one will tip the balance. Let\u2019s ponder the marriage vows for a moment \u201cfor better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.\u201d Friend, how can we know that the person we\u2019re hoping to meet at the end of the aisle can fulfil these promises if we have not navigated similar moments whilst dating them? Their communication with you now is a blueprint for how they will treat you in marriage. We must never suppose that we can change a person, because only God has the power to do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is so important that when inevitably difficult moments arise that you are able to navigate through it in a godly way. From their attitude towards minor inconveniences like a traffic jam, to their communication when they have messed up and hurt you. They are indicators of the future troubles which, in marriage, you will have to overcome as a team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-will-become-of-it\">What will become of it?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Today\u2019s inability to acknowledge your sadness, becomes tomorrow\u2019s denial of your grief. Today\u2019s tantrum that you forgot you were meeting them at the station becomes tomorrow\u2019s week-long guilt-tripping. The mocking you for that quirk you have had since childhood becomes stripping away all your self-assurance. Do not ignore the fact that they cannot communicate to you when there is a problem.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bottom line under this point is how much grace is there in your relationship? If you know that your partner has no grace for you, that you cannot put a toe out of line then it\u2019s a sign you need to break up. If, on the other hand, you find yourself angered by everything they do, you are unable to take responsibility for your own actions and forgiveness seems a distant impossibility, then it\u2019s a sign.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-let-s-conclude\">Let&#8217;s Conclude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This probably hasn\u2019t been an easy read, maybe it&#8217;s stirred some really difficult feelings and you know there are painful conversations ahead. Please take heart that Jesus is walking alongside you through this process and that if breaking up is the right thing to do, then it will be for your good and God\u2019s glory. Psalm 34:18 says \u201cThe Lord is near to the <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/heartbreak\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">brokenhearted<\/a> and saves the crushed in spirit.\u201d take time now to ponder this as you pray over these five signs that you need to break up. Talk to a good Christian friend or someone wise and trusted at church. The world of Christian dating can be difficult to navigate, but we can all have confidence in the Lord who is in control of all hearts, and will lift us out of all heartbreak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re sure it&#8217;s time to break up, when you&#8217;re ready to <a href=\"https:\/\/onelink.to\/websiteurl\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">find a wholesome relationship<\/a>, try SALT <a href=\"https:\/\/www.be-salt.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Christian dating app<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This blog post will help you decide whether it&#8217;s time to break up with the person you&#8217;re dating. TL;DR: The Summary Here an upfront list of the 5 signs you need to break up: Intro Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. Perhaps the most public dissection of any relationship, ever. If you were anything like me [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":2460,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"[]"},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,12,7],"class_list":["post-2898","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-singleness-and-dating","tag-all","tag-break-ups","tag-christian-dating-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.2 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>5 Signs You Need To Break Up - SALT &amp; Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Break ups are never fun and coming to the decision to break it off can be even harder. 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This post will help you discern if it&#039;s right.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SALT &amp; Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063615338189\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-04-30T12:39:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-04-30T12:39:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/cora-pursley-dupe-1-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Esme\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@SALTDating\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@SALTDating\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Esme\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Esme\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/1a2821cb8dd4bf37a279dccdafb4df20\"},\"headline\":\"5 Signs You Need To Break Up\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-30T12:39:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-04-30T12:39:23+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1906,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/01\\\/cora-pursley-dupe-1-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"All\",\"Break Ups\",\"Christian Dating Advice\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Singleness &amp; Dating\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/#respond\"]}],\"copyrightYear\":\"2025\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/\",\"name\":\"5 Signs You Need To Break Up - SALT &amp; Life\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/signs-you-need-to-break-up\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/01\\\/cora-pursley-dupe-1-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-04-30T12:39:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-04-30T12:39:23+00:00\",\"description\":\"Break ups are never fun and coming to the decision to break it off can be even harder. 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