{"id":2268,"date":"2025-02-06T14:47:12","date_gmt":"2025-02-06T14:47:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=2268"},"modified":"2025-02-06T14:47:14","modified_gmt":"2025-02-06T14:47:14","slug":"should-you-meet-their-family-before-you-get-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/should-you-meet-their-family-before-you-get-married\/","title":{"rendered":"Should you meet their family before you get married?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make, and as Christians, we know it\u2019s not just about finding someone who makes us happy\u2014it\u2019s about stepping into a covenant with another person before God. But how much does family matter in that decision? Should you meet their family before you get married?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I want to walk through this question with you, not just from a logical standpoint but from a biblical, relational, and even personal one. The short answer? Yes, you should. But let\u2019s explore why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"When to Introduce Friends and Family: Dating Advice\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Bd4Hjf9RRus?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-role-of-family-in-marriage\">The Role of Family in Marriage<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-marriage-is-more-than-just-two-people\">Marriage Is More Than Just Two People<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you marry someone, you\u2019re not just marrying them\u2014you\u2019re marrying into their family, their history, and their culture. Even if you don\u2019t plan on seeing their family often, those relationships will still influence your future spouse, and ultimately, your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Bible tells us in Genesis 2:24 that a man shall leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they shall become one flesh. That \u201cleaving\u201d doesn\u2019t mean severing all ties; it means reprioritizing. But if family is still a part of your spouse\u2019s life (as it often is), it\u2019s wise to know what you\u2019re stepping into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-family-patterns-can-predict-future-behavior\">Family Patterns Can Predict Future Behavior<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Proverbs 22:6 says, \u201cTrain up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.\u201d The way someone was raised often shapes how they think, act, and even love. Meeting their family can give you insight into how they were raised and what kind of patterns they may bring into your marriage\u2014both good and bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I once counseled a couple who struggled because the husband had grown up in a family where conflict was handled through silent treatment, while the wife came from a family that talked about everything (loudly!). They never discussed these differences before marriage, and it led to years of frustration. Meeting the family can help you recognize these patterns early on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-20-reasons-why-meeting-their-family-matters\">20 Reasons Why Meeting Their Family Matters<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>It Shows You Value the Whole Person<\/strong> \u2013 Your future spouse didn\u2019t appear out of nowhere. Meeting their family shows that you care about where they come from.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You Learn About Their Childhood<\/strong> \u2013 Understanding their upbringing can give you insight into how they view relationships, conflict, and even faith.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Family Can Reveal Red Flags<\/strong> \u2013 Sometimes, meeting the family exposes unhealthy dynamics or attitudes that could affect your marriage.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You See How They Treat Their Parents<\/strong> \u2013 The way they interact with their mother and father can give you a glimpse of how they may treat you in the future.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Helps You Prepare for Family Expectations<\/strong> \u2013 Some families are highly involved; others are distant. Knowing their level of involvement helps prevent surprises.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You Can See Their Faith in Action<\/strong> \u2013 Do they pray together? Do they go to church? You\u2019ll see if their spiritual life is consistent at home.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You Get a Better Picture of Future Holidays<\/strong> \u2013 Holidays can be a major stressor in marriage. Seeing their family dynamic helps you prepare.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You See What \u201cNormal\u201d Looks Like to Them<\/strong> \u2013 What they grew up with as \u201cnormal\u201d may be very different from what you consider normal.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Gives You a Chance to Ask Hard <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/what-questions-should-i-ask-in-engagement\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Questions<\/a><\/strong> \u2013 Talking to their parents or siblings can help you understand their past relationships, struggles, and growth.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You Learn If They Handle Conflict Well<\/strong> \u2013 Watch how they argue with siblings or parents. It can be a preview of future marital conflicts.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-more-reasons\">More reasons<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"11\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Their Family Might Share Important Details<\/strong> \u2013 Families sometimes reveal things (good or bad) that your partner may not have thought to mention.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Helps You See If They Honor Their Parents<\/strong> \u2013 Exodus 20:12 commands us to honor our father and mother. How they do this (or don\u2019t) can tell you a lot.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Builds Trust with Their Family<\/strong> \u2013 Getting to know their family can help them see you as part of their lives, rather than an outsider.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You See if There\u2019s Unresolved Family Trauma<\/strong> \u2013 If your future spouse has deep wounds from their past, it\u2019s better to be aware and supportive than caught off guard.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Can Reveal How They Handle Stress<\/strong> \u2013 Meeting family can be stressful. How they handle it might show you a side of them you haven\u2019t seen yet.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You Learn Their Love Language in Context<\/strong> \u2013 Seeing how their family expresses love can help you understand their love language better.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Helps You Prepare for Future Parenting<\/strong> \u2013 If you plan on having children, meeting their family can give you insight into their views on parenting.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Strengthens Your Relationship<\/strong> \u2013 Taking this step together can build trust, deepen your bond, and give you a new level of security in your relationship.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It Can Be Fun!<\/strong> \u2013 Not all <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/when-should-i-introduce-friends-and-family\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">family meetings<\/a> are stressful. You might love them, and they might love you!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It\u2019s a Biblical Principle<\/strong> \u2013 The Bible is full of family connections. Ruth honored Naomi, Isaac\u2019s servant sought approval from Rebekah\u2019s family, and even Jesus\u2019 lineage was deeply important. Family matters to God, and it should matter to us too.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/bruna-gomes-dupe-768x1024.jpeg\" alt=\"burgers together\" class=\"wp-image-2166\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/bruna-gomes-dupe-768x1024.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/bruna-gomes-dupe-225x300.jpeg 225w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/bruna-gomes-dupe-1152x1536.jpeg 1152w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/bruna-gomes-dupe-1536x2048.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/bruna-gomes-dupe-9x12.jpeg 9w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/bruna-gomes-dupe-scaled.jpeg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-if-meeting-their-family-isn-t-an-option\">What If Meeting Their Family Isn\u2019t an Option?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes, due to distance, estrangement, or other factors, meeting the family isn\u2019t possible. If that\u2019s the case, talk openly with your future spouse about their family history, ask about their upbringing, and observe how they discuss their parents and siblings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If their family situation is complicated or broken, this doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t move forward\u2014it just means you should go in with eyes wide open. Surround yourself with wise Christian mentors and seek counsel if needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-approach-the-first-meeting\">How to Approach the First Meeting<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re nervous about meeting their family, here are some tips to make the experience smoother:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Pray beforehand.<\/strong> Ask God for wisdom and peace.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Be yourself.<\/strong> You don\u2019t have to impress anyone\u2014just be kind and genuine.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Listen more than you talk.<\/strong> Show interest in their family stories and background.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Be respectful, even if it\u2019s awkward.<\/strong> You might not agree with everything, but respect goes a long way.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Talk with your partner afterward.<\/strong> Discuss how it went and process any concerns together.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-conclusion-a-wise-step-before-marriage\">Conclusion: A Wise Step Before Marriage<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Should you meet their family before you get married? Absolutely. While it\u2019s not a biblical requirement, it\u2019s a wise and helpful step. Marriage is not just about romance\u2014it\u2019s about building a life together, and family plays a big role in that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re currently dating and considering marriage, I encourage you to take this step with prayer and wisdom. And if you\u2019re still looking for someone who shares your faith and values, a great place to start is SALT, the leading Christian dating app. It\u2019s designed for Bible-believing singles who are serious about finding a godly partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Take the time to get to know your future spouse\u2019s family. It\u2019s a decision that can bring clarity, wisdom, and peace as you move toward the beautiful covenant of marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make, and as Christians, we know it\u2019s not just about finding someone who makes us happy\u2014it\u2019s about stepping into a covenant with another person before God. But how much does family matter in that decision? Should you meet their family before you get married? I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":1811,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[19],"tags":[30,10],"class_list":["post-2268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage-prep","tag-all","tag-marriage-preparation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.9 (Yoast SEO v27.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Should you meet their family before you get married? - SALT &amp; Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Meeting your partner&#039;s family can feel daunting, but it&#039;s a great step in your relationship journey. 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