{"id":1319,"date":"2025-03-06T10:35:04","date_gmt":"2025-03-06T10:35:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=1319"},"modified":"2025-03-06T10:35:07","modified_gmt":"2025-03-06T10:35:07","slug":"should-i-write-a-spouse-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\/","title":{"rendered":"Should I write &#8216;a spouse list&#8217;?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Should I write &#8220;a spouse list&#8221;? It\u2019s a question many single Christians ask at some point in their journey. You might feel torn between letting God lead and taking proactive steps in your search for a spouse. If that\u2019s where you\u2019re at, you\u2019re not alone. Let\u2019s explore this idea together and see how it aligns with faith, wisdom, and practical living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The List: How to Choose a Partner Wisely\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/pjmjjeT8NF0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-a-spouse-list\">What Is a Spouse List?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A spouse list is a written set of qualities, values, or characteristics you desire in a future spouse. It can include everything from &#8220;shares my faith&#8221; to &#8220;loves hiking.&#8221; Some people see it as a way to clarify their desires, while others worry it might limit God\u2019s plan for their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-writing-a-spouse-list-can-be-helpful\">Why Writing a Spouse List Can Be Helpful<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Clarifies Your Priorities<\/strong><br>Writing a list helps you <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/non-negotiables-in-dating\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">identify what truly matters<\/a>. Is shared faith non-negotiable? Do you value someone who wants a family? Knowing your priorities is essential in building a strong, Christ-centered marriage.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Helps You Recognize Red Flags<\/strong><br>When you\u2019re clear on what you\u2019re looking for, it\u2019s easier to recognize relationships that aren\u2019t a good fit. For example, if a key value is mutual respect, you\u2019ll be less likely to settle for someone who dismisses your beliefs or boundaries.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Focuses Your Prayers<\/strong><br>A spouse list isn\u2019t just practical\u2014it can become a prayer tool. Lifting your desires to God, along with surrendering your will to His, can deepen your trust in Him to guide your journey.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-potential-pitfalls-of-writing-a-spouse-list\">Potential Pitfalls of Writing a Spouse List<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Perfectionism<\/strong><br>It\u2019s easy to create an <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/dating-diva\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">unrealistic &#8220;ideal spouse&#8221;<\/a> that no one can live up to. Remember, everyone\u2014including you\u2014has flaws.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Missing God\u2019s Surprises<\/strong><br>God\u2019s plans often exceed our imagination. Being overly rigid about your list can close you off to someone who might not check every box but is perfect for you in ways you didn\u2019t anticipate.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Focusing on Surface Traits<\/strong><br>While it\u2019s okay to list preferences like &#8220;enjoys the outdoors,&#8221; the deeper qualities like character, faith, and kindness are what truly sustain a marriage.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-write-a-spouse-list-that-honors-god\">How to Write a Spouse List That Honors God<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Start with Prayer<\/strong><br>Before you put pen to paper, pray. Ask God for wisdom and guidance to align your desires with His will.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Focus on Core Values<\/strong><br>Instead of listing superficial traits, focus on spiritual, emotional, and relational qualities. Consider things like shared faith, emotional maturity, and a willingness to grow.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Be Open to God\u2019s Leading<\/strong><br>While writing your list, remind yourself that God knows your needs better than you do. Be flexible and open to His surprises.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Keep It Short and Sweet<\/strong><br>A good spouse list doesn\u2019t need to be pages long. Stick to a few key points that truly matter to you.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Balance Wants and Needs<\/strong><br>There\u2019s a difference between preferences (e.g., &#8220;plays guitar&#8221;) and non-negotiables (e.g., &#8220;committed to Christ&#8221;). Be honest about what belongs in each category.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Compromise vs. Non negotiables\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/whs2ydn8pKw?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-my-own-journey-with-a-spouse-list\">My Own Journey with a Spouse List<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I was single, I hesitated to write a spouse list because I feared it might limit God. But when I finally did, it wasn\u2019t just about what I wanted\u2014it became a reflection of the kind of person I needed to become. My list included qualities like &#8220;loves God deeply&#8221; and &#8220;forgives easily.&#8221; Writing it helped me realize those were qualities I also needed to cultivate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-practical-tips-for-finding-the-right-match\">Practical Tips for Finding the Right Match<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Stay Active in Your Faith Community<\/strong><br>Whether it\u2019s through your church, small groups, or volunteering, being part of a community helps you grow spiritually and connect with like-minded people.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Try Christian Dating Platforms<\/strong><br>Apps like SALT are designed for Christians who share your values. They make it easier to meet people who are equally committed to faith and finding a <a href=\"https:\/\/onelink.to\/websiteurl\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Christ-centered relationship<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Practice Patience<\/strong><br>God\u2019s timing is perfect, even when it feels slow. Trust that He is working behind the scenes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Seek Wise Counsel<\/strong><br>Talk to mentors, friends, or counselors who can provide perspective and encouragement in your journey.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Keep Growing Spiritually<\/strong><br>Focus on becoming the kind of person the spouse you\u2019re praying for would also want to marry.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-20-points-to-keep-in-mind-about-spouse-lists\">20 Points to Keep in Mind About Spouse Lists<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Pray before you start.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Keep the focus on core values.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be flexible with preferences.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Remember, no one is perfect.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Don\u2019t focus solely on physical traits.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Include spiritual maturity as a priority.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Keep it concise and clear.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Make your list a prayer guide.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be open to God\u2019s surprises.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Avoid overly specific criteria.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Focus on character over accomplishments.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Trust God\u2019s plan more than your list.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Keep humility at the forefront.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Check your list with a trusted mentor.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Revisit and revise your list as you grow.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Don\u2019t use the list as a rigid rulebook.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Remember, love is a journey, not a checklist.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Include \u201cemotional maturity\u201d as a key trait.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Prioritize shared faith and values.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Use your list to inspire self-growth.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-final-thoughts\">Final Thoughts<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, should you write &#8220;a spouse list&#8221;? Yes\u2014if you approach it as a tool, not a blueprint. A prayerful, flexible list can help you clarify your desires, focus your prayers, and grow into the person God wants you to be. And remember, whether you\u2019re writing a list or taking steps to meet someone, apps like SALT can provide a supportive space to connect with other <a href=\"https:\/\/www.be-salt.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">faith-filled singles<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stay prayerful, stay open, and trust God\u2019s hand in your journey to find love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Should I write &#8220;a spouse list&#8221;? It\u2019s a question many single Christians ask at some point in their journey. You might feel torn between letting God lead and taking proactive steps in your search for a spouse. If that\u2019s where you\u2019re at, you\u2019re not alone. Let\u2019s explore this idea together and see how it aligns [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2508,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,7],"class_list":["post-1319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-singleness-and-dating","tag-all","tag-christian-dating-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.6 (Yoast SEO v27.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Should I write &#039;a spouse list&#039;? - SALT &amp; Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Writing a spouse list might sound like you&#039;re giving God a shopping list, but it can help you recognise when God shows you your person.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Should I write &#039;a spouse list&#039;?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Writing a spouse list might sound like you&#039;re giving God a shopping list, but it can help you recognise when God shows you your person.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SALT &amp; Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063615338189\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-03-06T10:35:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-03-06T10:35:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/jemilla-mills-smith-dupe-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Isabel Butterfield\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@SALTDating\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@SALTDating\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Isabel Butterfield\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Isabel Butterfield\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/23e361fe39dd06cc2bf71a45b31225a4\"},\"headline\":\"Should I write &#8216;a spouse list&#8217;?\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-03-06T10:35:04+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-03-06T10:35:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":940,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/01\\\/jemilla-mills-smith-dupe-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"All\",\"Christian Dating Advice\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Singleness &amp; Dating\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\\\/#respond\"]}],\"copyrightYear\":\"2025\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/should-i-write-a-spouse-list\\\/\",\"name\":\"Should I write 'a spouse list'? 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