{"id":1307,"date":"2025-03-13T13:41:55","date_gmt":"2025-03-13T13:41:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=1307"},"modified":"2025-03-13T10:34:10","modified_gmt":"2025-03-13T10:34:10","slug":"over-spiritualize-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/over-spiritualize-dating\/","title":{"rendered":"Do Christians Over-Spiritualize Dating?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s pretty rare that we over-spiritualize something. Most of the time we forget that the things of life are spiritual. So why is Christian dating so hard? Have we over-spiritualized dating?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cI do believe that true love waits. We all have future mates that God prepares for us so you need to wait because God is not late, your future mate will come at the right time. While waiting you need to prepare (caring for yourself, having a stable job, being physically and emotionally ready) for your future mate. In this world full of instant gratification, be the person who&#8217;s perfectly molded by the waiting season.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">-Jackie<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-do-you-believe-in-this\">Do you believe in this?\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The idea of \u201cwaiting for the right one\u201d is a concept that is prevalent in the church.\u00a0 The heart behind this seems to be in the right place &#8211; you don\u2019t want to compromise if you believe that God has someone perfect out there for you, and if you go for it in your own strength, you might miss out!\u00a0 This is a fear that haunts so many Christians and is a big reason why we see believers delay marriage for so long.\u00a0 So is this way of thinking the best way to find someone who\u2019s right for you, or will you actually end up missing some potentially amazing partners?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-real-question-is-do-we-over-spiritualize-dating\">The real question is &#8211; do we over-spiritualize dating?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The SALT Social community has some thoughts that I find particularly interesting.&nbsp; Here\u2019s a perspective that challenges it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cI believe in free will and I believe that God is sovereign, but if we married the wrong people then how can we believe that God has the right partner for us? The right partner could have married the wrong person too, and then what happens?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">-Amanda<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is an important question, because I think people believe that if they get married ahead of God\u2019s leading, then they\u2019ll miss the right person and end up in an unhappy relationship.&nbsp; I don\u2019t know where this way of thinking came from, but if you do truly believe that, then waiting (seemingly indefinitely) for the \u201cright one\u201d is justified because who wants to end up in an unhappy marriage?&nbsp; That would ruin your whole life and you\u2019d only have yourself to blame!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-next-question\">The Next Question<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I suppose we then have to ask \u201chow do we know when we\u2019ve found the right one?\u201d&nbsp; We all like to think we can hear God very clearly, but can we really?&nbsp; 1 Corinthians 13:9 says that we know in part and prophesy in part, which most people interpret to mean our ability to hear God is only partial in this life.&nbsp; This makes sense because our relationship with God is mostly \u201cinvisible\u201d and we hear him in our heads, in our hearts, but rarely does God part the clouds and say \u201cyou should marry Sonia!\u201d&nbsp; And I think it\u2019s probably this way on purpose because we\u2019re also meant to be involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cI think that if someone is \u2018the one\u2019, it will feel right, there will be no &#8216;buts&#8217;.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">-Rita<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-so-is-that-what-we-re-waiting-for\">So is that what we\u2019re waiting for?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone with no \u2018but\u2019s?\u00a0 What would you classify as a \u2018but\u2019?\u00a0 Does a \u2018no buts\u2019 relationship even exist?\u00a0 It sounds to me like what we\u2019re waiting for is perfection, which you might be waiting your whole life for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cI guess if we can over-spiritualize dating we can under-spiritualize it too! Meaning we go about dating with no thought to God and his role in this process. I&#8217;ve been accused of both (by the same person in the same conversation) but personally I think I&#8217;ve got the balance just right \ud83d\udc4c\ud83d\ude1c\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">-Adam<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-balance\">The Balance<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Adam\u2019s probably right &#8211; there\u2019s a balance between seeking God\u2019s guidance and just going after whoever sounds good to you.&nbsp; I wonder if knowing God and knowing yourself can turn into a kind of intuition where these things don\u2019t have to be at odds?&nbsp; That\u2019s probably a deeper spiritual and theological question here about the nature of man and whether the Holy Spirit inside of us can become so familiar that we just naturally move as he moves\u2026 sounds good on paper, anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cI see people interpret their own heart&#8217;s insecurities, anxieties, and irrational fears as an answer from God without seeking any sort of clarity through prayer or counsel. That is my input.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">-Sonia<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s the fear, at least for me, of waiting until it feels \u201cright\u201d.&nbsp; Our concept of God can get so caught up in our feelings that we may miss someone amazing.&nbsp; What to do, what to do!?&nbsp; Analysis paralysis can really mess us up, and Christian spirituality can be a minefield for it!&nbsp; Who\u2019s got the right answer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cFollowing God&#8217;s will is of utmost importance, but we need to act and also to get to know people to see the beautiful work of God in each person. We expect the perfect person to appear, but in doing so we may miss the value in people by fixating on our lists over valuing each treasure before us.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">-Alison<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"576\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/sophie-stogdon-dupe-1-576x1024.jpeg\" alt=\"girl eating a meal\" class=\"wp-image-793\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/sophie-stogdon-dupe-1-576x1024.jpeg 576w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/sophie-stogdon-dupe-1-169x300.jpeg 169w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/sophie-stogdon-dupe-1-7x12.jpeg 7w, https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/sophie-stogdon-dupe-1.jpeg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 576px) 100vw, 576px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-looking-beyond-expectations\">Looking Beyond Expectations<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is such an incredible sentiment.&nbsp; God made everyone beautifully and wonderfully, and we\u2019re out here judging everyone to death because we\u2019ve been sold this stuff about \u201cfinding the one\u201d and \u201cprayerfully considering every person\u201d, when in reality maybe we should just come back down to earth a little and see Jesus in the eyes of people, rather than just with our eyes closed in prayer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cSometimes our own fears and emotions can hinder us from being proactive, and instead we use spirituality as the reason for why we are passive.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">-Angela<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I say &#8211; go out there and meet people.&nbsp; Figure out what you\u2019re looking for, not with a list in your bedroom (other than non-negotiables like if they want children, etc), but through connection and relationship.&nbsp; Always be safe, but take a few risks on some new people.&nbsp; The dating pool isn\u2019t lane swimming, it\u2019s deep and wide and we need to put aside our fears and jump in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-salt-social\">SALT Social<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Conversations like these can really help us feel connected in an increasingly solitary world.&nbsp; Come connect with a vibrant community of single Christians on SOCIAL \u2013 a community feed built right into the SALT app!&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SOCIAL is the go-to space for users to connect on a fun, engaging platform that\u2019s about sharing life together.&nbsp; Ask for relationship advice, share a worship song, or post a photo of your favourite coffee spot.&nbsp; And who knows, you might meet someone amazing along the way!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Join in the conversation today on SOCIAL! You\u2019ll need to&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.be-salt.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">download the SALT app<\/a>&nbsp;to not miss out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Want to hear what our community said about whether guys should make the first move? Read it\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/first-move\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or would you like some first date tips and tricks? Read them\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/first-date\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">here<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s pretty rare that we over-spiritualize something. Most of the time we forget that the things of life are spiritual. So why is Christian dating so hard? Have we over-spiritualized dating? \u201cI do believe that true love waits. We all have future mates that God prepares for us so you need to wait because God [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":666,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[30,7,22],"class_list":["post-1307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-community","tag-all","tag-christian-dating-advice","tag-salt-social"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.9 (Yoast SEO v27.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Do Christians Over-Spiritualize Dating? - SALT &amp; Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do Christians over-spiritualize dating? 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