{"id":3056,"date":"2025-09-25T13:47:27","date_gmt":"2025-09-25T13:47:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=3056"},"modified":"2025-11-12T14:35:23","modified_gmt":"2025-11-12T14:35:23","slug":"placevanje-datumov","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/sl\/paying-for-dates\/","title":{"rendered":"Bi morali kr\u0161\u010danski mo\u0161ki pla\u010dati za zmenke?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Na\u0161o skupnost samskih kristjanov smo vpra\u0161ali, ali menijo, da bi moral mo\u0161ki pla\u010dati za zmenek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uvod<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Pred kratkim sem na Facebooku videl videoposnetek, v katerem je mo\u0161ki \u017eenski, ki ga je zanimala, ponudil pla\u010dilo celotnega ra\u010duna za prvi zmenek. Ta mu je bila hvale\u017ena, a ko jo je nato povabil k sebi, ga je zavrnila z besedami: \"To je prvi zmenek in vas ne poznam.\" On se je u\u017ealil in ji odgovoril: \"Ne poznam te, vendar si pri\u010dakovala, da bom pla\u010dal za zmenek.\" S tem jo je pustil z njenim delom ra\u010duna za mizo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V drugem videoposnetku je bila \u017eenska izbrana za prvi zmenek. Bila je mati samohranilka s tremi otroki in prosila svojega spremljevalca za denar za pla\u010dilo varu\u0161ke in pla\u010dilo naro\u010dila DoorDash za njene otroke. Mo\u0161ki je bil presene\u010den in je denar zavrnil, \u010de\u0161 da ni njegova odgovornost, da bi skrbel za njene star\u0161evske obveznosti. Menil je, da bi se morala za to dogovoriti, preden je pri\u0161la ven, da bi se sre\u010dala z njim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kot lahko vidite, gre za dva skrajna primera. Vendar pa se postavlja isto vpra\u0161anje: ali naj mo\u0161ki pla\u010da za zmenek? Dru\u017eabno omre\u017eje SALT<\/a> so imeli veliko povedati, videli pa boste tudi stali\u0161\u010da mo\u0161kih in \u017eensk. Nekateri menijo, da bi moral vedno pla\u010dati mo\u0161ki, medtem ko drugi podpirajo delitev ra\u010duna ali pa \u017eenske pokrijejo svoj dele\u017e.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pla\u010dilo za mo\u0161ke:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\"Mislim, da bi \u010dlovek moral pla\u010dati, zagotavlja! Ne samo zato, da poka\u017ee svoje zanimanje, ampak tudi kot dejanje prijaznosti!\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Mislim, da bi moral mo\u0161ki pla\u010dati... to ka\u017ee, da zna poskrbeti zate, da je skrbljiv, obziren itd.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Jean<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Glede tega vpra\u0161anja sem trdno prepri\u010dana, da bi moral gospod na prvem zmenku poskrbeti za ra\u010dun. To ne pomeni le njegove stabilnosti in finan\u010dne zmo\u017enosti, temve\u010d tudi ka\u017ee na njegovo pripravljenost za zavezujo\u010de razmerje. Sre\u010danje je predhodnik poroke, finan\u010dna stabilnost pa je klju\u010dni vidik pripravljenosti na ustvarjanje dru\u017eine. Ka\u017ee na sposobnost biti odgovoren in podporen mo\u017e in o\u010de.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKr\u0161\u010danski \u010dlovek pla\u010da ker je ponudnik<\/a>. Druge mo\u017enosti ni, razen \u010de dekle sporo\u010di, da \u017eeli biti samo prijateljica. Potem naj pla\u010da ;)\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Izrael<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Brez razcepljanja VSEH. Za glavne dogodke skrbim jaz. Ti mi poka\u017ee\u0161 svojo \u017eensko plat in poskrbi\u0161 za nego. Torej, \u010de greva v kino, jaz poskrbim za vstopnice in popcorn, ti pa mi poka\u017ee\u0161, da ti je mar, tako da poskrbi\u0161 za sladkarije in sladoled.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Da, mislim, da bi moral fant pla\u010dati datum.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Trishana<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Mogo\u010de sem starega kova, a moram imeti rad fanta, ki hitro pla\u010da ... \u0160e posebej na za\u010detku. Ko enkrat ugotovi\u0161, da sta \"skupaj\", je delitev ali menjava odli\u010dna.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Haven<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Ne, o delitvi ra\u010duna. Menim, da bi moral pla\u010dati gospod.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Po\u010dutim se resni\u010dno posebno (cenjeno), ko mo\u0161ki pla\u010da, in po mojih izku\u0161njah najve\u010dkrat pla\u010da.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Alice<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Naj bom \u0161e tako staromoden, a mislim, da mora na prvem zmenku pla\u010dati fant. Na drugem, tretjem in naslednjih zmenkih pa si morata par razdeliti ra\u010dun.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Jermaine <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Kot je razvidno iz teh komentarjev, se zamisel, da mo\u0161ki pla\u010dajo, pogosto obravnava kot znak vite\u0161tva in gentlemanstva. S tem, kam pelje \u017eensko na zmenek, lahko poka\u017ee svoje zanimanje, skrb in ustvarjalnost, ko jo zasleduje. Odra\u0161\u010dala sem na jugu Zdru\u017eenih dr\u017eav, zato razumem miselnost, da si mo\u0161ki \u017eeli pla\u010dati. Na neki na\u010din to odra\u017ea njegovo finan\u010dno stabilnost in \u017eeljo, da bi \u017eenski zagotovil pre\u017eivetje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obstajajo omejitve<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ali menim, da bi moral mo\u0161ki bankrotirati, da bi naredil vtis na \u017eensko? Ne. Lahko na\u010drtujete premi\u0161ljen zmenek, ne da bi razbili prora\u010dun. \u017dalostno je, ko nekatere \u017eenske sramotijo mo\u0161ke, ker imajo omejen prora\u010dun ali jih ne peljejo v drago restavracijo. Neko\u010d sem sli\u0161al \u017eensko, ki je dejala, da ne bi mogla hoditi z mo\u0161kim, ki zaslu\u017ei manj kot $100.000 na leto. To je izkrivljena miselnost, ki jo je na \u017ealost prevzelo veliko \u017eensk, ki mo\u0161ko resni\u010dno vrednost ve\u017eejo na njegov dohodek. \u010ce ste \u017ee kdaj sli\u0161ali besedno zvezo \"mo\u0161ki z visoko vrednostjo\", prav od tod pogosto izvira ta miselnost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mo\u0161ki ni \"manj kot\", \u010de pametno ravna z denarjem in vas ne odpelje v restavracijo s petimi zvezdicami s petimi hodi. Pravzaprav vam lahko njegovo sedanje finan\u010dno gospodarjenje omogo\u010di vpogled v njegove navade glede tro\u0161enja, \u010de bi se z njim poro\u010dili. To je pohvalno, saj ka\u017ee na modrost in zdrave finan\u010dne prednostne naloge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zdaj pa se dotaknimo tistih, ki menijo, da bi morale \u017eenske razdeliti ra\u010dun ali ga celo pla\u010dati. Vem, da mnogi temu nasprotujejo, vendar bodimo odprti za razli\u010dna mnenja. \u010ce se z njimi ne strinjate, vam ni treba slediti njihovim nasvetom, vendar zaradi tega niso ni\u010d manj kr\u0161\u010danski.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pro delitev ra\u010duna\/pla\u010dilo \u017eensk:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\"Z veseljem pla\u010dam, a enako z veseljem delim ali \u010de ona pla\u010da. Posku\u0161am oceniti situacijo, obi\u010dajno se nekako izide. Vendar mi ni pomembno, kdo pla\u010da. Mnogim se zdi pomembno, da pla\u010da fant, vendar pa bi zlasti v tem trenutku lahko bilo ljudem te\u017eko pla\u010dati za dva. Pogosto ne ve\u0161, v kak\u0161nem finan\u010dnem polo\u017eaju so ljudje. Vendar pa ni nujno, da je zmenek drag ali stane karkoli, \u010de gremo na primer samo na sprehod.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-LF<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Na prvem zmenku vedno ponudim pla\u010dilo in obi\u010dajno ga tudi pla\u010dam. Vendar pri\u010dakujem, da bo \u017eenska vsaj ponudila delitev ra\u010duna, tudi \u010de ponudbo zavrnem. To veliko pove o njenem zna\u010daju, \u010de niti ne ponudi, potem je malo verjetno, da bo dobila drugi zmenek. Najbolj\u0161i primer - prvi zmenek sem imel z \u017eensko v drugem mestu. Ni mi pustila, da bi pla\u010dal obrok, ker je rekla: \"Z vlakom si se peljal k meni, vlaki so dragi.\" To se mi je zdelo neverjetno, velika zelena zastavica.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Pav<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Vedno ponudim delitev, ker menim, da je tako prav. Obi\u010dajno pri\u010dakujem, da bo fant prosil za zmenek, kar pomeni, da bo prvi zmenek pla\u010dal on. To pa pomeni, da drugega ali tretjega prevzamem jaz ali pa si ga vsaj za\u010dnemo bolj enakomerno deliti.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Za prvih nekaj zmenkov menim, da mora ra\u010dun pla\u010dati tisti, ki povabi drugo osebo (razen \u010de je cena res visoka). Pozneje pa bi rekel, da se osebe izmenjujejo ali pa si razdelijo vsak ra\u010dun.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Ryan <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"\u010clovek z miselnostjo \"zagotavljanja in za\u0161\u010dite\" bo pla\u010dal ra\u010dun. \u017denska z miselnostjo neodvisnosti bo ponudila delitev 50\/50. Ta majhna gesta veliko pove o \u010dloveku.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Jewel<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Raje se razdelim. Vendar \u017eivim na jugu (jug ZDA), zato bo mo\u0161ki vedno vztrajal pri pla\u010dilu in to spo\u0161tujem - tako je bil vzgojen. \u010ce mi je v\u0161e\u010d, mu to dovolim in re\u010dem, da bom naslednji\u010d dobila jaz. \u010ce ho\u010dem biti samo prijateljica, se bom res potrudila, da bom pla\u010dala svoj del - toda enkrat, ko mi je mo\u0161ki\ufffc dejansko dovolil, je natakarica \u0161e vedno vse napisala na njegovo kartico in se mi nato nasmehnila! Ne morem se boriti proti celotni kulturi.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Michelle<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Da, razdelimo si ra\u010dun (ker bo to nekaj malega). \u010ce se bova dogovorila za drugi zmenek, ga bom z veseljem pla\u010dal. (Ki bi bil dra\u017eji od sladoleda ali kave).\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Mislim, da je pomembno, da se o tem vnaprej pogovorimo, saj nekateri ljudje raje po\u010dnejo razli\u010dne stvari glede na razli\u010dne dejavnike v svojem \u017eivljenju, kar je 100% v redu. Zelo pa me moti, kadar katera od strank pogojuje pla\u010dilo ra\u010duna ali kadar ga katera od njih mo\u010dno pri\u010dakuje. Ne glede na to imam za vsak primer vedno s seboj denarnico in nimam ni\u010d proti pla\u010dilu v celoti ali delno po dogovoru.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Emma<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Morda sem edini, ki se tako po\u010duti, vendar dokler ne spoznam osebe, pla\u010dujem zase. Zdi se mi, kot da sem osebi dol\u017ean, \u010de pla\u010da za moj obrok. To mi je zelo neprijetno in zaradi tega se spravljam v slabo voljo, tudi \u010de tega ne mislim. \u010ce sem z osebo \u017ee nekaj \u010dasa, je la\u017eje, \u010de ji dovolim, da pla\u010da zame. \u010ce pa jo \u0161ele spoznavam, 100% pla\u010dam sama.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Luna<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"Pravzaprav me malo moti, \u010de \u017eenska ne posku\u0161a iskreno pla\u010dati. \u010ceprav sem ve\u010d kot vesel, da lahko pla\u010dam, \u010de sem se dobro zabaval. Nikjer se ne bi pojavil in pri\u010dakoval, da bodo ljudje pla\u010dali zame, razen \u010de so izrecno rekli 'moja pogostitev' ali se s tem vnaprej strinjali.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Luke<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\"\u010ce bi vse pla\u010dal on, bi bila preve\u010d obremenjena. Na koncu bi naro\u010dila najcenej\u0161o stvar na meniju. Veliko raje bi si jo razdelila.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Lydia <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Dana\u0161nji svet<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u017divimo v svetu, v katerem se \u0161tevilne \u017eenske uveljavljajo. Vodijo svoja podjetja ali si prizadevajo za finan\u010dno neodvisnost. \u010ce ne vodijo podjetij, se mnoge vzpenjajo po podjetni\u0161ki lestvici in zaslu\u017eijo vsaj \u0161estmestno \u0161tevilko na leto. Ko \u017eenska ponudi, da bo pla\u010dala svojo polovico ra\u010duna, nekateri mo\u0161ki to razumejo kot obzirnost. Mnogi si to razlagajo kot: \"Ta \u017eenska lahko poskrbi zase in ne potrebuje, da jo oskrbujem jaz.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Veliko kr\u0161\u010danskih mo\u0161kih so opekle \u017eenske, ki so od njih pri\u010dakovale, da jih bodo \"obdr\u017eale\". Obstajajo \u017eenske, ki \u017eelijo, da mo\u0161ki po\u010dne vse, medtem ko se one samo spro\u0161\u010dajo in zapravljajo njegov denar. Tu pride v po\u0161tev izraz \"zlatokopka\". Nekateri kr\u0161\u010danski mo\u0161ki so naleteli na \u017eenske, ki so jih \u017eelele le finan\u010dno iz\u010drpati. Zaradi tega se mnogim mo\u0161kim zdi osve\u017eujo\u010de, \u010de \u017eenska ponudi, da bo prispevala ali pokrila svoj del zmenka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nekatere \u017eenske raje pla\u010dajo svoj dele\u017e, da se ob koncu ve\u010dera ne po\u010dutijo dol\u017ene. Mnogi mo\u0161ki menijo, da jim \u017eenska v zameno dolguje spolnost, \u010de pokrijejo vse. Tem \u017eenskam pla\u010dilo lastnega ra\u010duna zagotavlja ob\u010dutek varnosti in neodvisnosti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moja zgodba<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Preden sem spoznala svojega mo\u017ea, sem obi\u010dajno imela pri sebi dovolj denarja, da sem lahko pla\u010dala svojo polovico zmenka. \u010ce se je mo\u0161ki ponudil, da jo bo pokril, sem mu to dovolila. Ko sem za\u010dela hoditi z mo\u017eem, je za najine zmenke vedno pla\u010dal on. Nikoli mi ni predlagal, naj pla\u010dam svojo polovico, a tudi \u010de bi to storil, me to ne bi motilo. Bila sva na daljavo in na svojem prvem potovanju je letel iz New Yorka v Teksas, da bi me obiskal. Za najine izlete v restavracije in kino sem pri\u0161la pripravljena, on pa je \u017ee imel predviden prora\u010dun, da bo poskrbel za naju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zaklju\u010dimo<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Verjamem, da je ravnovesje mogo\u010de. Ni enega samega pravilnega ali napa\u010dnega odgovora - gre za to, kaj je mo\u0161kemu in \u017eenski prijetno. Pametno je, da \u017eenske pridejo pripravljene, \u010de pa on tega ne ponudi, ni razloga, da bi se u\u017ealile. \u010ce vam je ljub\u0161e, preprosto sporo\u010dite drugi osebi, da boste pokrili svojo polovico. \u010ce vztraja pri pla\u010dilu, se lahko strinjate in ponudite, da pokrijete kaj drugega ali naslednji izlet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vpra\u0161anje, kdo pla\u010da, zame ni rde\u010da zastavica ali razlog za prekinitev dogovora. Nih\u010de ni popoln na vseh podro\u010djih \u017eivljenja, vklju\u010dno s financami. \u010ce vam nekdo pove, da ima omejen prora\u010dun, spo\u0161tujte njegovo iskrenost in preglednost. Morda mu celo predlagajte nizkocenovno ali brezpla\u010dno mo\u017enost, ki ne zahteva veliko izdatkov. \u010ce u\u017eivate v dru\u017ebi drug drugega in \u017eelite \u0161e naprej graditi zvezo, lahko skupaj ugotovite, kaj je najbolje za oba. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dru\u017eabno omre\u017eje SALT<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u017delite sodelovati pri drugih vro\u010dih temah, kot je ta? SALT Social je kraj za kr\u0161\u010danske samske<\/a> ki glasno \u017eivijo svojo vero. Vpra\u0161ajte za nasvet glede odnosov, delite ideje za zmenke, objavite najljub\u0161i recept ali pa za skupnost poslu\u0161ajte pesem za bogoslu\u017eje. In kdo ve - morda boste pravkar spoznajte nekoga neverjetnega<\/a> na poti!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ne zamudite naslednjega pogovora o socialnih omre\u017ejih. \u0160e danes prenesite aplikacijo SALT.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We asked our community of single Christians whether they thought the man should pay for the date. Intro I recently saw a video on Facebook where a man offered to pay the full bill for a first date with a woman he was interested in. She was grateful, but when he invited her to his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2516,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[30,7,22],"class_list":["post-3056","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-community","tag-all","tag-christian-dating-advice","tag-salt-social"],"yoast_head":"\nShould Christian Men Pay For Dates? - SALT & Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's so awkward working out who should pay for dates - especially for Christians where Christian men are seen as the providers.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/sl\/placevanje-datumov\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sl_SI\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Should Christian Men Pay For Dates?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It's so awkward working out who should pay for dates - especially for Christians where Christian men are seen as the providers.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/sl\/placevanje-datumov\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SALT & Life\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063615338189\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-09-25T13:47:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-11-12T14:35:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/valentina-slica-dupe-2-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daria White Osah\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@SALTDating\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@SALTDating\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Daria White Osah\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"10 minut\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/paying-for-dates\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/paying-for-dates\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Daria White Osah\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/4a989b7c2436a09c7f8138f6182356b5\"},\"headline\":\"Should Christian Men Pay For Dates?\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-09-25T13:47:27+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-11-12T14:35:23+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/paying-for-dates\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":2095,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/paying-for-dates\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/01\\\/valentina-slica-dupe-2-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"All\",\"Christian Dating Advice\",\"SALT Social\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Community\"],\"inLanguage\":\"sl-SI\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/paying-for-dates\\\/#respond\"]}],\"copyrightYear\":\"2025\",\"copyrightHolder\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/sl\\\/#organization\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/paying-for-dates\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\\\/paying-for-dates\\\/\",\"name\":\"Should Christian Men Pay For Dates? 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