{"id":361,"date":"2025-03-13T13:54:56","date_gmt":"2025-03-13T13:54:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/?p=361"},"modified":"2025-03-18T13:27:27","modified_gmt":"2025-03-18T13:27:27","slug":"tener-un-tipo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/es\/having-a-type\/","title":{"rendered":"Tener un tipo: \u00bfEs un error?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Having a type is normal &#8211; being physically attracted to similar traits. But are we being too superficial? Could we be missing out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My friend was really into doctors.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In a big city with plenty of hospitals and surgeries around, it\u2019s not like there was a shortage.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One day she got very sick at work and ended up in A&amp;E. I rushed down to meet her there. It was a long day of watching an endless stream of strangers with ailments of varying kinds come and go from this little waiting room.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To make the best out of a bad situation, we enjoyed keeping an eye on the doctors who walked past the doorway.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While my friend was getting another test run, I spotted a rather handsome blonde doctor in a maroon shirt walking by. She\u2019ll like him &#8211; I thought.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On her return I teased her a little &#8211; just wait till you see this doctor.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eventually he reappeared, walking slowly down the corridor. My friend turned a deeper shade of maroon than his shirt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019ve matched online\u201d, she said, \u201cbut never met. And now I look like this!\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She looked okay, but best to say 8 plus hours in A&amp;E wasn\u2019t the \u2018meet cute\u2019 she was after\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Turns out having doctors as your &#8216;type&#8217; isn\u2019t always the most convenient of choices\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tl-dr-the-summary\">TL;DR: The Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to dating, everybody has a &#8216;type&#8217;, right?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/does-a-mans-height-matter\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Tall<\/a>, dark and handsome.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Petite, blonde and bubbly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perfect teeth, fancy job, owns a house.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whatever it may be, the reality is we all have a sense of the kind of person we would like to pursue dating. Unfortunately a lot of these qualities can often be surface level or superficial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So as Christian singles on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.be-salt.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">SALT<\/a> who are looking to date, should we pick our dates based on our &#8216;type&#8217;? Or is it wrong to have a preference?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re going to look at<strong><em> <\/em><\/strong>whether dating our &#8216;type&#8217; leads us down a road of pre-judgment or if we can still choose our &#8216;type&#8217; while having an open heart when dating.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Having a TYPE: is it WRONG?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Having a &#8216;type&#8217; is wrong when it&#8217;s&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Hard to ignore<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Limiting<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>An unhealthy habit&nbsp;<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Far from right&nbsp;<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>About non-negotiables<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Challenging Your Type \u2013 Date the Unexpected with Kait and JJ from Heart of Dating\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zOAS7u8lE-s?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Kait and JJ from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.heartofdating.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Heart of Dating<\/a> shared their thoughts on dating the unexpected<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-having-a-type-is-wrong-when\">Having a type is wrong when&#8230;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2026we judge people on their physical appearance alone.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Having a &#8216;type&#8217; often means a list of ideals we seek in a partner. We want them sporty or with nice hair, a good sense of style or a particular facial bone structure (some people get weirdly specific about these things.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2018&#8217;Types\u2019 in dating, including Christian dating, can be all about the outer packaging and not look any deeper. We know as Christians that this doesn\u2019t sit right. We are called to see the value and dignity in all people and so it can be seen as wrong to date someone who is \u2018your type&#8217; when this is based purely on looks.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are some exceptions to this that we\u2019ll look into soon. But let\u2019s examine what else might be wrong in dating based on a \u2018type\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-prejudice\">Prejudice<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Though I hope this isn\u2019t common today, we can\u2019t pretend that we\u2019re all perfect and so it\u2019s good to keep in mind that dating our &#8216;type&#8217; would be wrong if this includes any prejudices &#8211; particularly if this relates to someone&#8217;s race, disability or background.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As Candace Perry writing for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.singlematters.com\/racism-within-christian-dating-circles\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Single Matters<\/a> observed;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>I \u2026 recently watched a brother in Christ swipe through dating apps. When he came across a beautiful, modelesque black woman, he said, \u201cWow, she\u2019s hot,\u201d then immediately swiped left. When asked why, he answered, \u201cOh, I only date white women,\u201d without even stopping to see if it was a match and then say hello. Why? Strictly because of her skin color. And this systemic, disconcerting racism is not only excused within the church, it\u2019s even deemed as acceptable.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As Christians in the dating world we need to say no to prejudice and racism. Treating people as inferior or not good enough to date you because of these prejudices is clearly wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On racism, Candace goes on to say;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>A personal preference turns into racism when we say \u201cno\u201d and \u201cnever\u201d to a skin color.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This isn\u2019t the Christian dating advice you often hear, but take it to heart and perhaps spend some time in prayer inviting the Holy Spirit to reveal how you have approached choosing dates in the past and what you might need God\u2019s help in changing as you move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-unrealistic-standards\">Unrealistic Standards<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019d also argue that it&#8217;s wrong to have a &#8216;type&#8217; when you are holding people to a standard that you are not willing to match.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, if you want someone who is a high earner, I think that\u2019s only an acceptable request if you too are ambitious and high earning yourself. But even then it makes me feel a bit uneasy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These unrealistic standards could be around a variety of factors, not just money. But you get my point.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember, we are not looking for someone who makes our lives easier, we\u2019re looking for someone who makes us better. And that is to do with who they are, not how they look or how much they earn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-having-a-type-is-hard-to-ignore\">Having a type is&#8230; hard to ignore<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a tricky truth. Having a &#8216;type&#8217; is a natural occurrence and so dating against this can be very difficult to ignore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s because <a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/how-do-i-know-im-attracted-to-someone\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">attraction is important<\/a> and can\u2019t be excluded when dating even as single Christians.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We talk about this more in our blog, \u2018<a href=\"https:\/\/nrb.ttm.mybluehost.me\/attraction\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Should we ignore attraction in Christian dating<\/a>\u2019 and the bottom line really, is no.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Attraction takes a relationship beyond the platonic. It\u2019s like friendship but with a different fire under it. It&#8217;s what separates \u2018our person\u2019 (that special someone) from our people (friends and family).&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who we find attractive forms our \u2018type\u2019 in dating. Calling this entirely wrong goes against how God has designed us to be. He gave us the ability to be attracted to people so that marriages form and the human race keeps going!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-background\">Background<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s also good to recognise the difficulty in ignoring our &#8216;type&#8217; in dating is to do with our background. Chances are our &#8216;type&#8217; is to do with comfort. We often find ourselves drawn to people who feel familiar, are similar to those we have grown up around or have been told by the media to find attractive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Having a &#8216;type&#8217; is completely based on nurture, not nature, explains Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, a professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University, Fullerton. Your romantic taste isn\u2019t somehow embedded in your genetics, and it isn\u2019t completely random, either. Rather, it\u2019s based on a \u201ccombination of things that [you] have come across throughout your life that you\u2019ve somehow become drawn to,\u201d says Chung. Your preferences come from external factors that boil down to three main influences: your environment and culture, the media, and your peers.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jordana Comiter, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenshealthmag.com\/relationships\/a60803477\/romantic-type-holding-you-back-dating\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Women\u2019s Health<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are normal and natural feelings that don\u2019t have to be entirely pushed aside. As Christians, we can hold these things in balance. Yes we might be naturally led to date a single Christian man or woman who fits our usual &#8216;type\u2019 because it\u2019s a part of who we are and how we see the world. This doesn\u2019t mean we have to limit ourselves to our &#8216;type&#8217; all of the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-having-a-type-is-limiting\">Having a type is&#8230; limiting<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s be real, the Christian dating world can feel like fishing in a rather small pond at times.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So while dating our &#8216;type&#8217; isn\u2019t always strictly wrong, it can be more limiting. Why then would we want to create an even smaller dating pool in what can often feel like a small dating pool already? I\u2019m just being practical here!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Truthfully, if you are religiously sticking to dating your &#8216;type&#8217;, then you\u2019re writing off whole scores of potential dates on what are often fickle ideals.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I guarantee if you are strict on your &#8216;type&#8217;, in the end you\u2019ll marry someone who didn&#8217;t match all of your \u2018type\u2019 criteria after all. So, save yourself time and open your mind now.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-unexpected\">Unexpected?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you ever meet your friends\u2019 partners and think \u2018why did they choose them?\u2019. That\u2019s because we often think we know the kind of person someone would match well with. But when it comes down to it, we only see other relationships from the outside. We can only have an instinct on the exterior stuff and that\u2019s why we\u2019re often proved wrong.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If we apply these exterior limitations to our own dating, even when we know what\u2019s going on in our own heads and hearts, we\u2019re making dating difficult for no good reason. Making it harder to find the person who will be a good match for us just seems to me like self sabotage.&nbsp;Looking at it from a positive perspective, by not limiting ourselves to our &#8216;type&#8217; alone we\u2019re exposed to a whole host of benefits in meeting and dating a Christian single who is different to us or our usual preferences. They can help us grow and broaden our horizons. As <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theplainsman.com\/article\/2023\/11\/why-you-shouldnt-have-a-type-in-dating\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Jakai Spikes <\/a>writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Meeting people with different cultural, socioeconomic or geographical backgrounds than yours allows them to teach you as well. It&#8217;s good for both people. This can be attractive in some ways to have your potential significant other introduce you to things you have never seen before.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-having-a-type-is-an-unhealthy-habit\">Having a type is&#8230; an unhealthy habit<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s good to face the hard truth sometimes. Dating isn\u2019t always easy, especially for Christians. We are also as people of faith, not exempt from bad dating history or experiencing toxic or unhealthy relationships.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We all know or might be the girl who always dates the \u2018bad guy\u2019. Or perhaps the guy who goes after beauty over personality and feels surprised when it doesn\u2019t work out long term. We tend to repeat our dating mistakes because our &#8216;type&#8217; draws us to the same kind of person, even if they aren\u2019t good for us.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Choosing to break away from these dating habits can break you out of unhealthy relationship patterns. Matchmaker <a href=\"https:\/\/www.trysomethingmore.com\/top-five-reasons-you-shouldnt-have-a-type\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Julia McCurley<\/a> advocates that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>It\u2019s important to heal and break the cycle, and challenge your previous patterns by trying new approaches. Remember that the \u201ccomfort zone\u201d is the enemy to growth. What\u2019s comfortable and familiar isn\u2019t necessarily what is good for you in the long term.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For some of us, breaking out of this will be easier than others. Julia reminds us that this can be linked to psychological trauma we\u2019ve experienced in the past but could be playing now in our subconscious dating decisions\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u2026 for example, people who grew up with an emotionally unavailable parent may find themselves seeking emotionally unavailable dating partners, without realizing it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-healing-from-trauma\">Healing from trauma<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If these, or similar traumas might be impacting you in dating and beyond, know that seeking support is always a good option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Knowing and loving Jesus as Christians also gives us access to the true healer. You might need some time as you prepare to date to allow God to work with you through your past or past decisions. Know that He is for you and your future, He seeks your freedom towards true joy and peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Out of my distress I called on the Lord;<\/em> <em>the Lord answered me and set me free.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Psalm 118:5 (ESV)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-having-a-type-is-far-from-right\">Having a type is&#8230; far from right<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>How many times have the things you wanted and asked God for, not come through for you? Or not come through the way you expected?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We often think that we know what\u2019s best for us but they end up being far from right. How then is having a &#8216;type&#8217; in dating any different? We can\u2019t fully trust that our view is the right one, or God\u2019s best for us.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Though it might go against what we think we need or want, if we truly want God\u2019s best in our (dating) lives, we need to embrace His priorities over our own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We know that God prioritises the heart.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201c\u2026. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1 Samuel 16:7<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So in finding our godly man or woman to date, what should our priorities be?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.soulmatesbygod.com\/reality-check\/who-is-your-type\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">SoulMates by God<\/a> offers these insights:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>The correct priorities, from most important to least valued, should be:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>Spiritual maturity<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Purpose for life<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Character qualities<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Reputation<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Personality &#8216;type&#8217;<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Physical appearance<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Obviously it would be great if each of these qualities scored a \u201c10.\u201d But that is unlikely. So it\u2019s vital that spiritual maturity, purpose and character are highly considered and are not given a lower priority than physical appearance, personality, and reputation.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-having-a-type-is-about-non-negotiables\">Having a type is&#8230; about non-negotiables<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>How can we have peace then as Christians who want to date other Christians singles? When does having a \u2018&#8217;type&#8217;\u2019 serve us and not bring us down into the pitfalls discussed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=c-kgdVakmpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Delphine and Lauren on SALT\u2019s YouTube channel <\/a>discuss how our &#8216;type&#8217; isn\u2019t about unrealistic lists but about prioritising non-negotiables. This means setting our own good, healthy boundaries in dating that save us wasting peoples time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A lot of this relates to the priorities we just looked at but here are some extras to help you define your non-negotiables.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-faith\">Faith<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Someone\u2019s personal relationship with God matters. Ensure who you date takes this as seriously as you do, that it\u2019s not just a tick box part of their life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-who-they-are\">Who They Are<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Their personal attributes. Qualities like kindness, faithfulness, gentleness (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Galatians%205:22-23&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Galatians 5:22-23<\/a>) are what truly matter and should be a no brainer in discerning who you date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-they-live-their-life\">How They Live Their Life<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>A person\u2019s lifestyle will have an impact on you should dating turn into a longer term relationship. This could be how they steward their money (or carry debt), if they&#8217;re a smoker, spending their free time gaming or going to the gym as examples. These will all play a part in how your life might look with this person. Knowing what matters to you will be important as you date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-let-s-conclude\">Let&#8217;s Conclude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We all have a &#8216;type&#8217;, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@crystenc\/video\/7156311135220698411\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Christians included<\/a>. This isn\u2019t always a bad thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Being aware of when choosing to date our &#8216;type&#8217; might lead to unhealthy or wrong choices is important though. As Christian men and women looking to date, we don\u2019t want to limit our dating pool through focusing on physical attributes alone, holding prejudices or leaning into our old habits.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead we can embrace the benefits that breaking free from dating our &#8216;type&#8217; can bring us, and apply an open heart in Christian dating as we prioritise looking at the heart of others first too.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Break the mould and meet someone new. Try the <a href=\"https:\/\/onelink.to\/websiteurl\">SALT dating app<\/a> for free.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Having a type is normal &#8211; being physically attracted to similar traits. But are we being too superficial? Could we be missing out? My friend was really into doctors.&nbsp; In a big city with plenty of hospitals and surgeries around, it\u2019s not like there was a shortage.&nbsp; One day she got very sick at work [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":356,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,18,7,14],"class_list":["post-361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-singleness-and-dating","tag-all","tag-attraction","tag-christian-dating-advice","tag-dating-profile"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.6 (Yoast SEO v27.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Having a Type: Is it Wrong? - SALT &amp; Life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Having a type is normal - being physically attracted to similar traits. 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